Sunday, October 28, 2012

The easy marital health test

A small scientific study indicates a potentially reliable test for the health of a marriage, as well as a man's marital ALPHA/BETA status:
[T]he participants' commitment to and satisfaction with their relationships did not seem to change with fertility, the researchers found. But women with less sexually attractive partners seemed to feel less close to their beaus as they moved from their least fertile to most fertile period. Meanwhile, women matched with the most sexually attractive men seemed to experience the opposite effect.

"Women with the really good, stable guy felt more distant at high-fertility periods than low-fertility periods," Haselton explained in a statement. "That isn't the case with women who were mated to particularly sexually attractive men. The closeness of their relationships got a boost just prior to ovulation."

The researchers found the same trends when they repeated the experiment with 67 new participants. In this phase of the study, the researchers added a new questionnaire that had the women rate their partners' flaws, such as thoughtlessness, moodiness and childishness. Women paired with less sexually attractive guys were significantly more likely to find fault with their partners during the high-fertility period than the low-fertility period.
 In other words, if your wife is particularly sexually responsive in between her periods and gets irritable when she's getting them, she probably finds you to be sexually attractive to her and your marriage is likely in pretty good shape.  On the other hand, if your wife is at her most irritable when she isn't about to have her period, and around that time, she has an inexplicable, but dependable impulse to put on a short skirt and go out dancing with her friends on her monthly girls night out, well, there is a good chance she doesn't find you to be particularly hot stuff.

But don't worry, the researchers are careful to assure BETA married men.  The fact that she is regularly drawn to have sex with other men she finds more attractive doesn't mean that she wants to forgo the benefits of a long-term relationship with you.  It's just a pity that these mysterious urges tend to strike at her most fertile time of the month.  Perhaps, if you're lucky, the baby will even look somewhat like you.


Trust said...

Wives, so i read, are also significantly less likely to use birth control with their affair partners than they are with their husbands.

Interesting, in light of this post. Maybe similar cause and effect.

The Dude said...

I know exactly when she is ovulating. The problem is that is the *only* time she is interested.

taterearl said...

I figured if you are a beta she is always subtly irritated at you and turns into a she-devil around ovulation.

Unknown said...

The biggest predictors of divorce are contempt, stonewalling and denial. The rest of this stuff is evo-psycho nonsense, which is even less of a "science" than economics.

SouthTX said...

PMS means me and kids run from her. Think a pissed off rattlesnake. Otherwise, think a naughty nun.

SouthTX said...

Hormones are hell until you accept the bargain.

Anonymous said...

@bob: hormones are a real part of our lives that cannot be ignored.

Boogeyman said...

Does this mean women are like Germams, at your throat or at your feet? Or just snidely bitchy like the French.

Angel said...


Anonymous said...

Wow! Guess I am good. I track her cycle and know when she ovulates and when she is about to menstrate....Always have great sex multiple times around ovulation and she also gets really bitchy right before her period.

Funny thing, we usually have sex the day before or the day of her period beginning. It is usually intense and we both get off hard. It is as if her body needs it and then the process starts. She will literally walk out of the bathroom and tell me she just got her period.

I have even seen her body delay menstration until we have sex. Maybe work, home life or travel keeps us from having sex. She gets really irritated and I think I am too late, but nope; her body waits for a good f*ck and then she gets it. It is crazy!

Desert Cat said...

Whether or not, track her cycle like a hound dog. If this little test indicates trouble, now you have the roadmap to do something about it. At least this is what is working very well for me:

Observe your behaviors and cut off all beta leading into the end of week 2. Ramp up the alpha hard simultaneously and throughout week 3. Sex should be a non-negotiable this week, often, and as alpha as you can make it. Dial down the alpha and up the beta into week 4. Week 4 seems to be quite variable depending upon the woman, but this can be the place for all the sweet beta comfort building stuff to come out (for us, some of the best sex is this week). Back to week 1 (starting with period day), this ought to be your "do your own thing" week, where you give yourself and her some space. If you're prone to it, avoid beta and instead practice a cool, comfortable, detached alpha vibe.

Women are snowflakes, as we know, so this has to be tuned by observation and experimentation. Athol Kay had an excellent article a couple years back on why this works as it does. I had to modify it a little bit to work for my particular little bundle of hormonal urges. :)

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