Friday, October 5, 2012

She's probably had better

Many unmarried young women with an N count greater than one or two will argue vociferously that their N doesn't matter and should not be taken into account by men who are considering them as potential wives.  But the reality is that the known male distaste for seconds, or twentieths, as the case may be, is well-justified in terms of an increased probability of future infidelity as well as the fact that his wife will likely compare him unfavorably to one or more of her previous lovers:
Many women are looking back with longing on past relationships, admitting sex was better with their ex than their current partner.  A total of 38 per cent of women confessed in a recent survey that they had the best sex of lives in a previous relationship. Meanwhile just 29 per cent of men said their best sex was with an ex....

 'They don't regret not choosing them as long-term mates, but they do miss the great sex they had. Women don't tend to marry the guy they had great sex with. They marry for more 'sensible' attributes - like whether he'll be loyal and a good father. I get lots of emails from women saying they love their husbands but fantasise about sex with their exes.'
What is particularly troublesome about the 38 percent figure is that it does not appear to leave out the 29 percent of women who are still virgins by the time they reach marital age, and who as married women could never prefer sex with a nonexistent previous lover.  It's not a precise match here since some of those virgins will not marry, but the statistic is still close enough to make the point that this report actually indicates that 53 percent of all married women with previous sexual experience had the best sex of their lives in a previous relationship.  And obviously, the higher her N, the greater the possibility that this is the case.

So, if you've married a woman who wasn't a virgin, there is a one-in-two chance that she considers you to be sexually inferior to one of her previous lovers.  And the more experience she's had, the more likely that is the case.

This widespread sexual preference for previous lovers may also explain why the men least troubled by their wives' previous sexual experience are the high Alphas.  Given the tendency of Alphas to be obtuse, is not only likely to assume that he is not only his wife's best, but to believe he is the man that other men's wives are pining after.  And then, it might be hard to be too worried about not being number one or number two when she's not even in his own top ten.

41 comments:

Anonymous said...

True, but you know it's really over when she actually tells you that she's had better. If that happens start looking for a good lawyer because you're on the way out!

Anonymous said...

You also have to take into account that the statistics would be higher if everyone had answered truthfully. I am guessing the number of those who can`t admit to this in a survey is rather high.

Daniel said...

That's a common criticism of any survey of uncomfortable things such as sex history, but, in general, 50% rings true, just based on the percentage of married women who openly ("playfully" or "in jest") lust after past relationships or other men.

Don't ever forget that women tend not to quibble on sex tests, because they've been giving them to each other since junior high school, and their guilt hamster is never as fast as their "I'm special and have a secret" hamster.

In other words, they want him on that wall, they need him on that wall, and as long as the response claims to be anonymous, they want the world to know that they are scandalous and are worthy of bigger climaxes than they might appear to be having right now.

I'd be surprised to discover that even 5% of "pining" women feel guilty enough about their nostalgia to cover it up.

My horse sense says this finding is in the ballpark, not that that's worth anything.

Anonymous said...

As I've gotten better, I wouldn't say more alpha, I've had more success with the sluts than the good girls.

The slut knows where her current man stacks up whereas the good girl is staring into a void of the unknown.

Since the good girl doesn't have the experience, to evaluate her man, she'll shit test you more than the slut.

Trust said...

Not to mention that contrary to their words, women are more sexually attracted to men when they aren't married to them. In fact, they probably rated their husband higher when he was their boyfriend.

JCclimber said...

Don't know how this applies to both genders, perhaps equal, but men and women both tend to remember the highlights and forget the lowlights of relationships.

For example, my exes and I had some pretty freaky sexcapades, and if I wished to focus on that, i could be pretty bitter and butt hurt about it in comparison to my relationship. But that would ignore the not-so-great moments in those relationships, as well as the not-so-great sexual experiences in some of the same relationships.

Women seem to be more inclined to focus on the highlights of their previous alpha lovers, if they actually had an alpha in their past. But then, they won't be remembering those relationships much if their current partner is alpha.

Generally speaking, women will tend to put more effort and therefore get more out of sex if they are trying to make a sale. So they may remember previous unmarried partners (including your own previous performance) through the wheel of their hamster house.

realmatt said...

I'm glad I'm a man.

Actually..that's not entirely accurate. I'm glad I'm not a woman. Meaning I'd rather be many other non-man things than be a woman. Or female member of most species, really.

mmaier2112 said...

So screw her as good as you can and don't care about the results.

That's the only lesson I can take from this, unless someone has better advice.

Hell, the more Alpha she thinks you are, the more likely she is to fake her orgasms and pretend she loves you anyway.

Complete and Utter Idiocy, but that's reality, right?

Madness.

Stickwick said...

Not to mention that contrary to their words, women are more sexually attracted to men when they aren't married to them. In fact, they probably rated their husband higher when he was their boyfriend.

I don't know female behavior well enough to agree or disagree with you, but there is a complicating factor: the type of man a woman will marry may be different than the type of man she'll have sex with when she's not married. It may have nothing to do with marriage per se, but that she's settling for a husband she perceives as having lower SMV. Also, people's behavior often changes after marriage. If a man is perceived to be more supplicating after he gets married, that would diminish her attraction.

. said...

The false assumption here is that you should care about her pleasure.

http://www.rooshv.com/it-doesnt-matter-if-she-orgasms-or-not

"Gradually I just stopped caring, and soon everything I did in bed was for my pleasure only. The only reason I’d delay orgasm is to make mine better, and I pretended I don’t hear her the first time she told me to drill slower or not to go so deep. I did whatever I wanted because I came to value my orgasm as sacred, and her pleasure as second to mine.

Do you want to guess what happened?

Nothing. Nothing happened. Girls didn’t want to fuck me more, they didn’t want to fuck me less. Not caring about their sexual pleasure had no effect on repeat calls and repeat sex."

Anonymous said...

Clearly, do not marry a non-virgin. And if you're an alpha, why get married anyway?

mmaier2112 said...

Sometimes I really hate that damned Red Pill.

Anonymous said...

Man sometimes this depresses me.

N5

The Last Gentleman said...

What is particularly troublesome about the 38 percent figure is that it does not appear to leave out the 29 percent of women who are still virgins by the time they reach marital age, and who as married women could never prefer sex with a nonexistent previous lover.

Of course, they could still prefer it with their imaginary previous lover. The imagination is a powerful thing. How to harness it... that is the question.

Jack Amok said...

This widespread sexual preference for previous lovers may also explain why the men least troubled by their wives' previous sexual experience are the high Alphas.

[telephone rings]

Yes, hello, Alan Alpha, what can I do for you? No, Mrs Alpha is, ah, busy at the moment. Perhaps I can answer your questions?

[pause]

Oh, how should I know? A couple dozen I imagine. Never really asked her.

[pause]

Ha! No, no, not bloody likely! Say, you sound kinda cute. You're not one of those fat chicks that just sound hot over the phone are you? Hello? Hello? Aw, figured as much.

[hangs up phone]

What's that sweetheart? No, nothing important. Hang on, hold that, ah, thought, I'll be right back. Need to refill my martini.

finndistan said...

So,

"'They don't regret not choosing them as long-term mates, but they do miss the great sex they had."... They don't regret it, but everytime they have sex with the hubby, they think of the past stud, and then they think that how it would have been like to have sex with him now, and then they think that it is the hubby's fault this happened.

Voila.

Hubby pays.

This kind of changes the dynamics in the too simplified,

"Why buy the cow when the milk is free" when the cow has gone bitter, the milk it gives, if it does, sour...

Why buy the now bitter moody cow now if giving, giving sour milk, that in the recent past was an milky empowered cow giving out fresh raw milk, when fresh raw milk is on permanent discount.

Better.

SarahsDaughter said...

From the article: "The responses from both sexes also revealed that sex gets better with age..."

Yep.

After about age 35 there needs to be a new name for sex. Sex prior to age 35 is not even close to the same thing as sex after 35. Comparing anything to what I have now is just silly.

Anonymous said...

Sex prior to age 35 is not even close to the same thing as sex after 35. Comparing anything to what I have now is just silly.

Yes, please, tell us more about your wrinkled, flabby sex life princess. We're delighted to imagine what sorts of depravities your enjoy in your pre-menopause. We're sure it just doesn't compare to anything else.

SarahsDaughter said...

Glad you could stop by Anon, now get your hand back to work. I'll bet you're a lefty - you need that right hand for the mouse, correct?

Desert Cat said...

. said...
The false assumption here is that you should care about her pleasure.

Roosh is all about the bang. That may not work out quite so well in a LTR, where, if Athol is to be believed, balanced Alpha and Beta behaviors are required. Leaving her hanging night after night isn't going to work out well in the long run. She will find her own pleasure...somewhere.

Anonymous said...

I'd like to see this statistic: correspondence between women who believe that size matters and the number of sex partners a woman has had. The more sex partners a woman has had, the more likely it is she's been with one or more well-endowed men, the more likely she believes that size matters.

Does well-endowed mean alpha? Not really sure, honestly. At least, you can't be small.

Obsidian said...

Hey Vox Day,
Don't know if you know this, but I referenced your post here in my post yesterday:

When She Reminisce Over You
http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com/entry/105265

So, believe you me, I can most definitely relate to what you're saying here.

Also, I thought you and your audience might be interested in today's offering:

A Catechism of Game
http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com/entry/105385

Keep in touch,

O.

The Dude said...

Being alpha is better protection than a prophylactic.

The only question I have is...how would you ever truly know the number of partners she's had? I know the rule of three as well as the slut indicators but I would be hard pressed to believe if she even told me she is a virgin.

Retrenched said...

"Being alpha is better protection than a prophylactic."

Yeah, but what are the other 80-90% of men supposed to do? Probably either get married young to a virgin or just avoid marriage altogether, I'd say.

Rollo Tomassi said...

Every man wants a slut, he just wants her to be HIS slut.

ANDREW DICE CLAY: Hey, is that your chick there?

GUY IN THE AUDIENCE: Yeah!

DICE: Damn she’s pretty hot!

GUY: Yeah,..

DICE: You been together a while?

GUY: About 6 months.

DICE: Nice. She faithful to you?

GUY: Oh yeah.

DICE: She good in bed?

GUY: *nods head enthusiastically*

DICE: She suck a good dick?

GUY: (laughing) Ohhh yeah,..heheh,..

DICE: I suppose the next question would be, “How do you suppose she got that way?”

https://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2012/01/06/the-slut-paradox/

I’m completely aware of the studies indicating a woman’s capacity to bond monogamously is inversely proportionate to the number of sexual partners she’s experienced prior to monogamy. I wont argue the merit of that concept, but I also don’t think that it fully encompasses the dynamic. Even ONE prior lover (or even unrequited obsession) can be Alpha enough to upset that bonded monogamous balance. These are the Alpha Widows – women so significantly impacted by a former Alpha (or perceptually so) lover that she’s left with an emotional imprint that even the most dutiful, loving beta-provider can never compete with. A woman doesn’t have to have been an archetypal slut in order to have difficulty in pair bonded monogamy.

So again I’ll ask, how many is too many? For an Alpha Widow, one’s enough. It’s my contention that the Slut Paradox isn’t a numbers game so much as it’s an Alpha impact game. What if your new partner has only banged a mere 2 men before you, but naturally and willingly engaged in intense sexual experiences she feels self-conscious about doing with you? Is she a slut?

Rollo Tomassi said...

http://xsplat.wordpress.com/2012/07/22/no-you-didnt-give-me-the-best-years-of-your-life/

No, you didn’t give me the best years of your life.

BC said...

It’s my contention that the Slut Paradox isn’t a numbers game so much as it’s an Alpha impact game.

Given the inability to determine which prior partners were or were not alpha, I would argue that it is still a numbers game, in that the greater the number, the greater the possibility that one (or more) of them was more alpha than you.

What if your new partner has only banged a mere 2 men before you, but naturally and willingly engaged in intense sexual experiences she feels self-conscious about doing with you? Is she a slut?

She's worse than just a slut. She's still someone else's slut, and a hypocrite to boot.

Joe Blow said...

>>>So screw her as good as you can and don't care about the results.

That wins the thread. Once you're married, it's too late to care about this. The only even remotely alpha response is to not give a damn. (Well, I suppose you could bang her hot looking best friend, or a 21 year old co-ed, but I'm talking about best response within marriage). You obsess over her partner count at this point, and you're going to come off as weak and needy, and not only will your sex appeal suffer, your LTR potential will suffer, Herb. So don't even go there.

Anonymous said...

Gross. I'd rather stay single. Seriously. My last girlfriend said I was bigger than most guys she was with, that she loved my big dick, I had a cool dick and a big cock and that she loved the way I f_ _ _ _ _ her. The less respect I treat girls with, the better they treat me. So, I have fun and make them laugh but don't take anything too seriously, because girls are gonna like who girls are gonna like. They're fickle creatures. And it's not worth getting serious with them since they're addicted to texting, factoids, and don't value fidelity.

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Anonymous said...

If you're a real alpha, none of this pussy gamma shit bothers you. Watching a bunch of dickless losers obsess over female sexuality is hilarious.

There's three alphas in this thread. The rest of you are whiny little gammas, trilling in trepidation and knowing you don't have enough dick to keep a bitch's attention.

Anonymous said...

Oh, look. It's the "nice guys who have been friend-zoned" whining and pissing committee.

My boyfriend's an alpha: he works his ass off, is confident, and considerate. He does have his asshole moments, but generally directed at the well-deserving. However, he's also fucking fantastic in bed because he's considerate -and- creative. His wife's okay with him having me as well, because he's able to keep up with both of us. And the occasional weekend with his-and-mine mutual girlfriend (hey, for as good as he is as a person, I'm willing to be flexible, if it makes him happy).

Want to not be a complete loser?

Be upfront and honest about your intentions toward someone, or at least not tell them one thing when you mean something else. I've had guys tell me "I just want to be friends." When they then try to make a move on me, and I have to gently explain to them that, per their previously stated intent, I firmly placed them in the non-romantic category so *I* wouldn't risk coming off as desperate and clingy, they get all sorts of pissy. What they don't get is laid, at least by me.

Worried you don't measure up in bed? It isn't all size -- my boyfriend is NOT the "biggest" I've had, but he is the best. Because he asks, and pays attention, and learns. He's also very appreciative. Ask what she likes in bed -- is there something she'd like to try that's different tonight? If she's curious, she'll tell you. If there's something she thinks might make things better for her, she'll say. And if she wants to give you a blowjob, for the love of chocolate, pizza, and Scotch, don't turn her down because it's not missionary.

Don't believe all you want is a hot chick who has unrealistic expectations of what she deserves; you fully deserve whatever suffering you get. (Hot AND smart, I doubt anyone would blame you for hoping to be worthy; good luck.) I've had guys tell me, "You're smart, funny, sweet, pretty, and I love our conversations. I just can't be interested in you because you don't wear makeup -- and, yes, I know, you're -allergic- to makeup, but it makes you too ungirly." If you place "looks" over legitimate health issues, you're definitely part of the problem. Whining about how the girly-girls can't talk about anything other than their nails -- and certainly not the specs of their latest computer upgrades -- later is not going to win you sympathy points.

And fucking communicate. It does wonders.

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