Monday, September 17, 2012

An intent to disqualify

Lest you doubt that women are always actively seeking to disqualify men to whom they are initially attracted, consider this technological rationale for rejecting a man:
How would you
 date the RAZR-owning guy knowing that he could never quickly look up Yelp reviews 
of the restaurant you're about to eat at or never check that email you
 sent him at the last second saying you're going to be 45 minutes late? As far as any concerns about distraction, there are definitely times you and your partner can agree to 
turn off the phones for an hour and just be together. I would much 
rather have to do that than be with a guy who can only play Snake in 
black and white and make phone calls with his phone.
 I already have to keep my parents in the loop about new technologies; 
I don't want to have to tell my boyfriend about them too.
The ironic thing is that before smartphones became part of the mainstream technological standard, and therefore capable of possessing utility the average woman could understand, having one would have been seen as nerdy and therefore disqualifying. Smartphone four years ago, bad. No smartphone now, bad.

In female eyes, getting it right isn't merely a matter of substance, but of timing. A man cannot be too avant garde or too behind the times, he always has to be aware of what is the acceptable range at that particular time. But the more important thing is how wildly and stupidly shallow the young woman's reasoning is. Imagine if men similarly refused to date women to whom they had to explain technology... the human race would end with that generation.

But the reality is that she is simply using the smartphone as a lifestyle and status metric as an easy means of disqualification. That is the key point to take away from this: women are always looking to disqualify you. The key to success with them is knowing that and refusing to do it for them.


Wendy said...

Why is it that a valley girl voice goes with the quote so well?

Rock Throwing Peasant said...

I see it a little differently.

She can't be bothered for even the slightest inconvenience. That is selfish on an epic level.

David Webb said...

Time to leave the West.

Doom said...

You make that sound bad? Being disqualified, to a young, unattached, 'active', male is... like getting a get-out-of-jail free card. Oh, it... hurts their feelings... Sure, they take it hard... Heck, they grab their guy friends, go for pizza and beer and pool to ease the thing... while looking for the next woman to play with, fail at keeping, and so on. Gotta love the logic of women sometimes. Hell, you would almost think the Devil was involved! *evil grins*

Anonymous said...

Men have very few metrics that are used to disqualify women, all of which apply no matter what time period you happen to exist in.

1. Don't be fat
2. Don't be a bitch

Disqualifying a guy over a cell phone. How 90210.

That guy without the phone could have hated tech because his million dollar business he runs emails him 24-7 so he chooses to uplug on the vacation he took when he ran across you when he told you he doesn't have a personal cell phone.

PS. most drug dealers have cell phones. great pond to be fishing in.

Stickwick said...

At least half of the women commenting in that article said they wouldn't disqualify a man for not having a smart phone. My favorite:

Dating a guy without a smartphone is the same as dating a much younger guy. You are the one who makes all the decisions and you get to feel like you're smarter, which is not a bad thing at all!

Yes, men are like helpless children without access to the Internet. If you find a guy without a smart phone, you get to make all the decisions. Why, it's almost like dating your own son. Sexy!

[This is why women were always subjugated prior to the invention of smart phones. For a woman to have had equal footing or even an advantage back then, she would've had to lug around an entire set of encyclopedias and the yellow pages. Technology: the great equalizer.]

Daniel said...

Heck, she'll disqualify him over his lack of gayness.

The key is to never bother with her qualification material: it's rigged on purpose. Once you start playing the game, the loss is certain. It doesn't matter if you pull up in front of her in a porsche with diamonds pouring out of the pockets of your Uman, if you engage in her secret "So, can you handle it?" tests, you lose.

If you really want a stuffed bear, don't play ring toss at the sleazy carnival for it.

Cail Corishev said...

The last paragraph is the kicker. If she meets a guy who makes her tingle, it won't matter if he says, "A smart phone? What's that?" Suddenly she'll respect him for his individualism and refusal to follow the crowd.

But if he doesn't make her tingle (or the tingle fades), then absolutely anything can be rationalized into a reason to split. Seinfeld should have been about a woman -- remember how he broke up with women for reasons like having man hands or not laughing out loud?

Anonymous said...


"1. Don't be fat
2. Don't be a bitch"

Girl game, summed up in seven words.

I am stealing that. It's beautiful.


Orville said...

I will qualify this by saying that, while I'm an IT person and "with it" tech wise, I'm also a boomer. I am continuously dismayed by the amount of time the young'uns spend on their phone, and it reeks of female chatitude and betaness. Texting, sexting and talking is all fine, but damn, I'm not going to be at some broad's beck and call every time she wants to run her mouth.

Joe Blow said...

I'm an X'er, senior attorney type, tech related practice. This young girl is disqualifying herself. Where I work, you've really made it when you can ditch the smartphone/blackberry and force some associate to handle the midnight calls, and get a senior partner / of counsel type to cover for you to handle the major crises until you return. Senior execs who hang onto these things... well, that's a mark of vanity, trying to be hip-ness. The mark of prestige where I work is being able to go places and do things where the office, and not-particularly close friends, can't reach you. "Sorry, I was out sailing / hiking / mountain biking / trekking in Nepal for a month." This dumb young thing has pre-selected out a lot of really successful guys based on a cheap appliance you can buy from a minimum wage high school graduate working at a kiosk in the mall, and it's ueber-Beta to be a slave to one's email accounts, much less the people on the other end of the emails. And as for Yelp reviews... I'd rather be surprised by a restaurant I've never been in, than disappointed by what some hipster wrote in his review.

F*** 24-7 connectivity. I have better things to do with my life.

Jules L. said...

Unfortunately, this narrows down the options so significantly in the U.S. that you may have to become a monk.

Jimmy said...

Sometimes when a woman breaks up with man, he will think "she needs me", but not when it isn't true. She is saying in effect that she doesn't need him. He isn't smart enough for her. At least it isn't what he said, because it will be worse, won't it?

Maybe the guy should just ask her what APPS are installed in the phone. He should roll his eyes when she says "Angry Bird."

DaveD said...

Jules, you probably have no idea how true that is. Sad thing is, culture reinforces it so most women don't even realize there's a problem.


Leap of a Beta said...

The big thing is if the smartphone, or lack of one, matches your vibe.

If you pull off the rugged, off the map man who eschews modern technology and hates the idea of being plugged into the matrix constantly - then you can ditch the smart phone.

If you have an artistic bent, the iPhone is where it's at. Droids are good for the average american guy.

Of course, contrast can also be king in this.

The WORST thing though, is to come off as not having a smart phone because you can't afford it or because you hate technology in an active way rather than the rugged nonchalance of care.

No woman will disqualify a man for his phone if she digs the man and his lifestyle matches his vibe.

Daniel said...

Forever and ever. Amen.

Anonymous said...

I recently dumped my smart phone and went back to a razr about 4 year old vintage. The tech is cool but smart phones are effeminate. Silly zombie trance inducing gossip machines.

Anonymous said...

I don't hate technology, but I do hate and disqualify people who pay more attention to their gadgets than other people in social settings.

Shaun said...

Ok, summary here:

1.) Many women disqualify men for stupid shit, all or most of the time. This is kind of a flaw in the design, in that women were not designed to decide such things.
2.) Men disqualify women for being fat and being a bitch. Women that are not fat and not a bitch tend to qualify often.

Thank you for my daily dose of reality.

Orion said...

Two shots at going by Yelp reviews in a new area. One gave glowing reviews of a rib place. Result - two star ribs. Way to tough, sauce okay. Second was Japanese steakhouse - blah review. Result - probably worse than the review. Typical failed training for chef - failed to use enough liquids/sauce; rice was obviously not cooked fresh daily, which comes through even frying.

As a techie that has been doing projects and oncall rotations for years, I have zero interest in the electronic tethers known as "smart" phones and generally loathe texting.

Daniel said...

Right except that 1) isn't a flaw in the design, and you are missing a key point.

a) Women seek to disqualify for any and all reasons. Men who don't play by their qualification standards (i.e. don't answer to their tests) actually are passing the test by ignoring it.

b) This isn't a flaw. After all, the woman, quite naturally, is simply seeking the best possible mate for them (whether short term or long term, it doesn't matter), and pre-screening is a must. It is not different from job interviews: way more applicants than necessary.

Participating in her tests are like typos on your resume: they may be irrelevant to your actual ability to perform, but they provide a convenient screen to allow in a narrower stream of candidates.

Consider this: if women did not make obvious test-pits to weed out the clueless (and often submissive) willing test-takers, they would be sleeping with (or, at the very snowflakey best - be tempted to sleep with) a significantly higher number of men in their youth, therefore even more rapidly eroding their market value than they do currently.

Be very glad for her Random Disqualification Engine: it does the job of screening out your competition, so you don't have to beat each one of them on your own, and so, when you do end up with her, you are less likely to have the town bicycle on your hands...

By bypassing every woman's engine, you are broadening your options while allowing individual women to focus on you in a neutral or positive way. It's a good thing.

Anonymous said...

"...continuously dismayed by the amount of time the young'uns spend on their phone, and it reeks of female chatitude and betaness"

i'm equally dismayed at the amount of time old'uns also spend on their phones. my ex and her friend were communicating with each other VIA TWITTER whilst not being even 2 feet away from each other on the SAME F*CKING COUCH.

day in day out as i walk to my parked car, i notice a sea of females doing the head down/tap/swipe as they walk through intersections. people have to walk AROUND these mindless automatons because they don't have the courtesy to look where they're going. these are grown women so lacking in their lives their stupid FB status feed is more important than your unencumbered path to work.

And to think if i hit one of these 'walkers'.. techno zombies.. with my car, the law would consider me the bad guy. sheeesh.

Roundtine said...

1. Thin
2. Long hair
3. Smile

Anonymous said...

Women love, love, love smartphones because they're:

a.) attention whores
b.) have ADD
c.) narcissistic

Anonymous said...

It's getting worse with every iphone release.

Anonymous said...

Write these things after looking at her pic.

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