Here comes the single bride. Last week, Nadine Schweigert married herself in a symbolic wedding ceremony. The 36-year-old divorced mom of three wore blue satin and clutched a bouquet of white roses as she walked down the aisle before a gathering of 45 friends and family members in Fargo, North Dakota.Presumably she registered at Fantasy's. It's somehow alarming to discover that there are sex shops in Fargo, isn't it? The sad thing is that this woman apparently doesn't have any friends or family, or anyone in her life to say "look, I'm sorry, but you do realize that this is completely insane."
She vowed to "to enjoy inhabiting my own life and to relish a lifelong love affair with my beautiful self," reports Fargo's InForum newspaper . After the ring was exchanged with the bride and her inner-groom, guests were encouraged to "blow kisses at the world," and later, eat cake.
Only two more and the New York Times will call it a trend! And on that note, it is reported that women are putting their ereaders to increasingly hot and heavy use:
Downloading saucy stories is becoming increasingly popular with women as the anonymity of the transaction means they are spared the blushes of having to buy a naughty book in stores.... Publisher Caroline Ridding told The Guardian, that erotic fiction has 'enormous global online constituency' which was 'driven almost exclusively' by female readers.Of course, that faint buzzing sound one hears when they are engrossed in a particularly well-written literary passage does tend to give it away. No doubt all of those dedicated feminist anti-porn crusaders will hop right on the anti-erotic fiction campaign, right?
hhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmm Wait, now, that's not crickets chirping!
19 comments:
Please, can we make this self-wedding thing a trend?
The faster western civilization implodes by its solipsistic, materialistic, misanthropic, murderous, sexually deviant stupidity, the better it will be for us all.
She vowed to "to enjoy inhabiting my own life and to relish a lifelong love affair with my beautiful self,"
Well, at least she admits that she loves herself more than she loves anyone else, and is happy to demonstrate it to everyone she knows.
I'm looking forward to when she discovers her new spouse is having an "emotional affair" with someone, and tries to file for divorce...
Next up: Ladies marrying their cats.
Now they just need to make dildos that connect to the mini USB ports in ereaders, it would start pulsating when it gets to the sex scenes. Of course it would have to be wireless...
Can't wait til she divorces herself 'cause she's not haaaaapy!
I'm sure the feminists are working up a plausible way to say, "Unlike porn, no sweet, helpless victims are exploited in the production of erotica. Besides, it's literature."
Vox, OT, but curious as to your (and the AG readership's) thoughts on David Kupelian's WND article: The Church of Sex. On the one hand, it seems just a gamma Christian leader trying to white-knight all of Christian womanhood, but are there any other lessons regarding the nature of modern Christianity and how it deals with sex worth discussing here? It seems to me that far too many Christian leaders over the past few decades have stressed the husband's self-sacrifice and acceptance of a decreasing sex life, without really addressing the women's attitudes. Perhaps some of these modern pastors like Mark Driscoll are part of a much-needed backlash, re-asserting male dominance in sexuality. Signs of the times? Or are they just, as Kupelian says catering to a sex-obsessed society as a form of marketing?
@rycamor:
That's an awesome article, because it really unintentionally spells out two of the problems with Churchianity; its total disregard for sex and its compromising position with feminism.
Most churches, as far as I'm aware and as you are clearly aware of, downplay the importance of the man and his dominant position in the marriage. In a classic textbook example of cognitive dissonance, they will gladly preach verses such as Ephesians 5:23 while teaching women to deny sex, control the family budget, and to "wait for that perrrrrrfect one God made juuuust for youuuuu!"
And then there's the total lack of sex education in the church -- and I don't mean just the physical aspect of it. Given feminism, nobody has a damned understanding of what proper sex roles are. It ought to fall to the church to teach its congregation how to behave in those roles (feminist churches need to be pulled up like the weed they are) and to teach men and women to appreciate sex for what it is, a very strongly bonding activity that cements together marriages and, used properly, ensures the successful demographic expansion of Christendom.
It's just deafening how silent the church is currently about sex. If the church won't teach people about sex, then people will turn elsewhere for their sex education... and it won't be the kind the church likes.
So she can self-divorce? Like she finds a guy and wants to marry him. But she is married to her self at the moment. So she needs to file for a divorce. Right?
Is this an Onion article?
Was H-Dawg the best man?
Nah, Toby. She can just have an affair, and then sue the guy for alienation of affection.
Good to see that some of her friends and her son thought it was a dumb idea:
Not everyone was in agreement. Some of Schweigert's friends, who'd undoubtedly seen Carrie Bradshaw register for a pair of Manolos on season 6 of Sex and the City, thought she was going a little far with the single pride thing. Schweigert's 11-year-old son was her biggest critic: "He said, 'I love you, but I'm embarrassed for you right now.'"
"Aaaahahahahahahahahahaaahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahaaaahhhaaahhaha Aaaahahahahahahahahahaaahahahaha!" - Nadine's ex husband
Actually, I believe this also marks the limits of hypergamy, as well. You have got to be one hurting unit to be forced to settle...for yourself.
If her inner groom got cold feet, where, exactly, would she have felt a chill?
Years and years ago, when I was just out of high school, I worked at a mom & pop place that was a video and book store. Had a room in the back for the X rated movies along with a rack of x rated novels, stuff where they tried to have an actual plot as opposed to Penthouse letters stories.
99% of the movies were rented by guys. 99% of the naughty books were bought by women.
On a strange side note, this was about the time 'The Last Temptation of Christ' came out. Dam near every time I rented this movie to someone they were also renting porn. It's like the 'Christ' movie pulled them to the back room and forced them to pick up Hershey Highway 3. People are strange. No wonder the aliens never openly land.
Insane abomination.
Upon seeing the title, I concluded Vox had discovered the end of the universe, and from that vantage point, using a very strong scope and some amazing math, was able to infer some limit of female solipsism. Much like they do with black holes and other phenomena that cannot be observed directly.
Instead, Vox has only discovered Narcissus's direct descendant.
We should all realize that much like time, solipsism has no practical limits: even if a limit exists, it is so far away that it is meaningless.
Yeah, I feel sorry for the 11 year old son. He seems to understand he has an idiot for a mom, but it's another 7 years before he can be in charge of his own life.
It's a scary time when you can't tell anymore whether what you're reading is from The Onion or from what's supposed to be a serious news source.
Do you think Narcissus was anthropomorphized as male because the story would have surprised no one with a solipsistic female, because only men could learn from the fable, or for another reason?
Vox does give the reader cause to wonder...
The male fascination with pornography and extended bachelorhood: the fault of a feminized culture.
A female fascination with pornography and ritualized extended spinsterhood: the result of feminized culture.
That's the problem with calling another arrogant, solipsistic, or argumentative.
Truthfully, this isn't solipsism, classic narcissism is closer.
I agree with Sean's other point: solipsism has no practical limits.
Nuns also marry their “inner groom”, their “beautiful self” — he’s called “Christ”. They even wear a ring. It's not a redefinition. It's traditional. I also enjoy the traditional marriage of peanut butter and jelly, and the marriage of words and music. We even make a game out of marriage when we play pinochle.
You know this is actually not the first time this has happened. Some women did this a few years ago and they even made a "lifetime movie" of it. I only know because an Aunt is addicted to that horrible channel and she insisted on watching it incessantly while vacationing with us.
Stupid movie. She claims she had a man willing to marry her, but she wanted to make a point that she didn't need anyone else to be happy.
This is like when you see someone on peopleofwalmart.com and you think "they cannot possibly own a mirror". These women cannot possibly hear themselves speak...I hope. No one is that out of touch with reality, right?
Carlotta
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