Saturday, February 18, 2012

Creepy Coldplay

OM hits the whippets, then goes Skinny Puppy on Chris Martin:
Coldplay makes Macaulay Culkin look like Steven Seagal, cracking his nuts over a poor beggar’s skull to punish him for being hungry. As for our choice of song, “Shiver” really goes up to eleven in terms of Voxian gamma creepiness. Example:

Did you want me to change?
Well I changed for good
And I want you to know.
That you’ll always get your way
I wanted to say,

Don’t you Shiver?

The use of the word shiver is curious: does this mean the singer is expecting the girl to get little-girl-giggle-shivers from the overwhelming emotion of the lyrics? Or is this, in fact, a confession that the singer realizes how repulsive this sort of sniveling is to the ladies?
In fairness to Coldplay, I think it's important to remember that Chris Martin is now married to Gwyneth Paltrow, which probably has more than a little to do with inspiring lyrics about shivering and someone always having to get her way. And what I think OM is forgetting here is that pop music is aspirational.

But for whom? The mere fact that Coldplay happens to be male doesn't mean that its audience is also male; with the exception of the new "Paradise" single, which I rather like and has a very funny video featuring elephant costumes, I could not tell you the name of a single Coldplay song. So, I conclude that their audience is mostly female, and therefore, although the voice is male, the lyric represents a female psychological posture.

Furthermore, music is emotional, not logical. It doesn't always matter who is nominally being addressed; the "you" from the verse is not necessarily the same "you" in the bridge or chorus. So, it is the female audience who will let the Other get his way, but it is also the female audience who shivers in emotional ecstasy of the release she finds in giving herself this way.

At least, that's what I thought before I read the rest of the lyrics. And on second thought, I was wrong, OM is correct, and this is straight-up gamma creepiness. "Shiver" is simply Coldplay's attempt to write their own "Every Breath You Take", only where that song had a stronger, quasi-serial killer vibe to it, "Shiver" completely fails in its pure Gamma supplication.

So I look in your direction,
But you pay me no attention,
And you know how much I need you,
But you never even see me.

What the "shiver" is supposed to be is the chilling aspect of the stalking, but this guy is simply too much of a milksop to invoke any genuine sense of alarm. Whereas Sting conveyed disturbed passion and danger, Chris Martin conveys little more than creepy bathos.


Kiwi the Geek said...

I listen to country music a lot, (whenever I have only the radio) and ever since I started learning about Game, I'm noticing more and more songs that are beta/delta/gamma/omega. (I'm not very good at identifying each category) It's weird, because it contradicts the image country music projects as a whole. My knowledge of music isn't very broad, and I wonder, has the concentration increased over time? Is this trend common to current popular music as a whole?

The CronoLink said...

They showed Coldplay's Paradise at the gym; thought it was lame.

rycamor said...

I listen to country music a lot, (whenever I have only the radio) and ever since I started learning about Game, I'm noticing more and more songs that are beta/delta/gamma/omega.

Tim McGraw's "Just to See you Smile" has to be country's ultimate Gamma lamentation:

You always had an eye for things that glittered
But I was far from being made of gold
I don't know how but I scraped up the money
I just never could quite tell you no

Just like when you were leaving Amarillo
Takin' that new job in Tennessee
And I quit mine so we could be together
I can't forget the way you looked at me

Just to see you smile
I'd do anything that you wanted me to
When all is said and done
I'd never count the cost
It's worth all that's lost
Just to see you smile

When you said time was all you really needed
I walked away and let you have your space
'Cause leavin' didn't hurt me near as badly
As the tears I saw rollin' down your face

And yesterday I knew just what you wanted
When you came walkin' up to me with him
So I told you that I was happy for you
And given the chance I'd lie again

Just to see you smile
I'd do anything that you wanted me to
When all is said and done
I'd never count the cost
It's worth all that's lost
Just to see you smile (2X)

The difference between this and Coldplay is that McGraw conveys a world-weary sense that this song should be teaching you a lesson: DON'T be this, because here is how it ends.

Really, he is telling the story of countless Everymen. Tragic.

Anonymous said...

BG (before game) I used to love Coldplay. Now can barely listen to it. Amazing to see how blue pill most music is. For most of this stuff I have to pretend it is a girl singing now for it to not turn my stomach.

mmaier2112 said...

Screw it! Just put "Somethin' 'bout a truck" into your YouTube search engine and be done with it!

John said...

Yeah, I've taken to calling this the "rock star" effect, after seeing it action with pop band Maroon 5. Most of their lyrics are effeminate or oppressively beta, but that hardly matters when you're famous and have preselection like this -

When it comes to pop rock stars gentlemen, it's a common case of "do as I do, not as I say."

mmaier2112 said...

Dude, you don't even need the famous part!

I've seen a dude in a bar band with no fame whatsoever pulling down hi-8's, maybe low-9's.

And I've seen a local band - composed of 4 out of 5 betas - with a tiny bit of recognition with groupies all around, at least 8's every time I saw them play out.

Anonymous said...

coldplay is definitely creepy stuff.

'fix you' is another good example.

somehow like their music though.

Spectator said...

Yea Coldplay makes Radiohead look like Motorhead.. though still the ultimate Gamma Anthem is Creep by Radiohead. Makes me cringe to even listen to it.

Ghost said...

This explains it. I used to get frustrated anytime someone described a band as "emo." All music is emotional. Those guys are hopeless schmucks who realized early on, "oh, God, I'm a hideous troll. Well, better learn how to play guitar, or I'm never getting laid." and I should know, I was the fat troll who learned how to play guitar so I could get laid.

And now, at this stage in my life, if the song isn't being sung by a MAN, than it better be a woman singing. If the dude can hit higher notes than my 12 year old daughter, save it douche.

And for MANLY examples of singers, Thrice, Demon Hunter, Killswitch Engage, All That Remains, Project 86, Stavesacre, Saviour Machine, BoySetsFire, or Afflictions End.

Oh, and Coldplay tried to kill me one day when I was driving to work. That dumb, shitty, gay song of theirs (narrows it down a bit) came on the radio and promptly knocked my ass out cold. I came too as I was careening into those orange barrells they use to block off construction. Not only do they suck lyrically, vocally, and musically, they're like a sonic Ambien. Don't listen to them unless you can get a full 8 hours rest.

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