Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Alpha Mail: ugly blasts from the past

SarahsDaughter wonders what motivates stalkers from the past:
Expand on this for me, if you will: My husband's late high school/early college years, he will admit, he was clearly exhibiting Beta [or BETA - VD] behavior. His conquests were 5's at best. He quit college, started bar tending, and started down his Alpha journey dating/sleeping with 7-9's.

Over the last few years, the 5's (now 40+ year old 5's -ish) have been trying to get in touch with him and/or stalking him. Not once has he had one of his prior 7-9's try to get a hold of him. I met several of the 7-9's, I can attest, they were beautiful. These women that are trying to reacquaint themselves with him now are...not pretty (and a couple are liberal feminists to boot).
What you're seeing here is tangentially related to the way in which a woman rates her own sex rank as the highest caliber man whom she can claim as a conquest of some sort, not necessarily sexual. Unlike men, women count a pursuer, be he successful or unsuccessful, as a win. And women only attempt to stay in touch with men they regarded in the past as possessing higher sex rank, in most part because they are attempting to reassure themselves that they still rate an 8 even though they have never been more than a 5. After all, if Plain Jane is Facebook friends with Joe Cool after all these years, clearly she must have meant something to him back in the day and therefore she must have been, and must be, attractive beyond the average, at least for her age.

When I think about the various women I know and hear about the "old friends" with whom they have reconnected via Facebook or Google, they are usually referencing the men they found most attractive in the past. I don't think it's a conscious thing or even a problematic one, those are simply the men that they still think fondly about from time to time. Their erstwhile BETA orbiters have either stayed in some form of loose contact with them over the years or don't rate looking up. In like manner, I don't often find myself getting looked up by the very hottest women I dated, but I do find myself getting friend requests from various 7s and 8s, sometimes even from girls in whom I never expressed any interest, much less dated.

Who contacts whom is a reliable indicator of the relative historical sex rank. So, based on what SarahsDaughter is saying, I would guess that her husband was a Delta who eventually raised his Game to Low Alpha, that he was a man who naturally rated 7s but occasionally outkicked his coverage courtesy of his bartending occupation. Of course, one must also keep the ravages of time in mind, as it's entirely possible that some of those "not pretty" women were once considerably more attractive.


Giraffe said...

Their options are drying up, they aren't getting much attention, so they want a little reassurance.

SarahsDaughter said...

Thanks! That all makes complete sense.
Over the last couple of years I've noticed a sense of urgency with my single (and sadly some married) friends/contacts that are 40+ or inching toward 40, which makes sense. As well as a few newly divorced male contacts that make very angry comments about the nature of women.
It's not that I've not believed the things I've read here, it is simply fascinating to watch it play out. And so important for young adults to understand how essential it is to make good decisions early on.

indyguy77@work said...

Sadly, a friend at work is going through a divorce. But it's clinically interesting to view it all in Game context.

I'm thinking she would actually be rather easy prey. Dang conscience...

JCclimber said...

This resonates well with Facebook and reunion experiences. I sometimes wondered about some of these women (and men) who've contacted me.

Ian Ironwood said...

Vox. I need your email address. Please email me ian dot ironwood at gmail dot com. Thanks. Someone has approached me about doing a book.

Brad Andrews said...

It is on his Voxday page. :)

Anonymous said...

This is why I don't do facebook and am glad my Husband doesn't do it. Everyone asks him to, but he really can't be bothered.

I already have enough idiots who have tried tracking down his Mother to make sure he is STILL married.

I also have to send his Sister to weddings with him (if I have to stay with the children) to beat the drunk idiots off him (married ones to boot). He ignores them or simply says "Thanks now get your hand off my ass!" but several times now the Mother of the Bride or Groom won't back down about how he "grew up so well".

Shesh! No dignity at all anymore!

Last, seen several marriages end in divorce over facebooking.

Not playing with that fire....


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