Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Don't talk to single women

At least, not if you're interested in them. This cartoon series called Girls With Slingshots is a good example of why irritated and dismissive disinterest is one of the most effective ways for a man to make a positive impression on a woman.

This isn't theoretical. I think my first words to Spacebunny were "What?" Other equally eloquent initial introductions include the phrases "So?", "I'm sorry, who are you again and why are you talking to me?", and in one memorable case, "fuck off, can't you see I'm talking to someone?" These weren't conscious negs, they were what might be described as the external expression of Inner Game, or to put it in more prosaic terms, I really dislike being interrupted by women in public. Pretty social butterflies, in particular, often seem to believe that they can join any conversation in progress and change the subject to something as idiotic as it is uninteresting, and I tend to react to such attempts with unmitigated hostility.

The reason that social talk-talk is so ineffective for men, and why women like the author of the cartoon advocate it in order "to get to know a girl", should be obvious to anyone who understands the core concept of female solipsism. Remember, everything they say about men actually applies to them. So, a single woman meeting a man doesn't want to talk so that a man can get to know her better, she wants him to talk in order to permit her to disqualify him.

This is part of why Asshole Game works so well and why all the hamster-spinning about how it is its reflection of male strength that is really the appealing aspect and so forth are mere attempts to rationalize the uncomfortable. And yet, it is true that women dislike being treated badly; they hate it. But the important thing is that they respond to it and most of them can't help themselves. The rude, cold, arrogant man is immediately attractive for the obvious reason that he refuses to permit himself to be disqualified. It's seldom a conscious thing, but the net effect is that he successfully rejects the woman's internal self-appointment as his judge.

And whether he realizes it or not - I certainly didn't in the gloriously misspent days of my youth - in rejecting that self-appointment, she sees him setting himself up as her judge, which is something that harbors intrinsic appeal to the submissive element in the female spirit. His will has already conquered hers without even necessarily opening his mouth. It's a simultaneous frameswitch and DHV, which is why it is such a powerful tactic. The problem with utilizing it strategically that it is very difficult to fake because women are like bloodhounds when it comes to sniffing out genuine male emotions.


Booch Paradise said...

The issue here is that your assuming that most people regularly have strange attractive women coming up and talking to them. In those cases where that does happen I would say that your right, but if your plan is to just go to the park and wait for women to talk to you so that you can blow them off, it's not going to work.

VD said...

There are attractive women attempting to join conversations at most social occasions. Now, I take your point with regards to bars and night clubs, of course, but there, any conversational tactic is difficult due to the noise element.

The point is that most men not only permit attractive women to join the conversation in a social setting, but will react deferentially to her. That is a mistake.

Giraffe said...

There are attractive women attempting to join conversations at most social occasions.

And many are attempting to join conversations because she is interested in one of the parties. In other words, she has already picked up on the gamma vibe of the three guys discussing the latest comic book release and will head for the alpha/beta group to join their conversation.

While you were not consciously negging the chicks, you were giving off a vibe, like the gammas, and she is reading that vibe, consciously or not.

So the gamma is getting disqualified before she approaches.

indyguy77@work said...

"In other words, she has already picked up on the gamma vibe of the three guys discussing the latest comic book release and will head for the alpha/beta group to join their conversation."

I actually enjoy hearing women ripping on guys for enjoying our video games and/or comic books.

The denial that erupts as you point out watching "Jersey Shore" and reading "Twilight" aren't exactly intellectual pursuits is worth the price of admission.

And the next time I do that, I get to throw in insinuations of necrophiliac or canine sexual tendencies to boot.

And yet, somehow, I keep getting invitated to social functions.

Anonymous said...

While women do make fun of guys into comic books, most women have a fantasy of superman or some other muscular hero swooping in to save them.

I know of a male stripper who offered the superman costume as one of the choices for the ladies and it was only slightly less popular than fireman and police officer.

PermanentGuest said...

"the net effect is that he successfully rejects the woman's internal self-appointment as his judge."

This is the key. You don't have to wait for women to approach you to come to this conclusion.

The game is "judge or be judged." Your mind is likely going one of two ways:
1) "I wonder if I measure up to her"
2) Subconscious disqualification of her

It's your standards that count, not hers.


Anonymous said...

irritated and dismissive disinterest

That's my wife's memory of our first meeting. She reproaches me for it, but I just laugh and tell her I don't remember.

Koanic said...

This was a great post. It's not often Vox delves into inner game.

Master Doh-San said...

Just remember that women always want what they can't have. To a woman, the unobtainable is irresistible.

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