Friday, June 3, 2011

Vox Nails It, as Usual

When Vox left his comment for Tim over at HUS, I cringed. It was so harsh! Telling Tim to grow a pair, calling him an undesirable wuss. Of course, I am simply ignorant of the way men communicate with one another, because Tim liked VD's advice best of all:

@ vd: i like your advice. i’m going to write down exactly what you said to say on a 3″ X 5″ card, memorize it, and carry it in my back pocket just in case.


Anonymous said...

Link to VD's comment?

Susan Walsh said...

He added it to the previous post, Learning to Swim in the Deep End.

VD said...

That's funny, Susan. Except I think Tim was being just a little sarcastic with regards to using those actual words.

One thing that might be helpful in understanding male communication is that brutality is often understood to be somewhat humorous, especially if what is being communicated is serious. It does not necessarily convey contempt or even dislike, it's merely the verbal form of grabbing someone's lapels and shaking them in order to make sure they listen.

Men tend to focus on the message and the intent behind the words rather than on the words themselves.

Vaughan Williams said...

Men honor brutal honesty over pablum niceties. It makes us feel powerful when people TREAT us as if we were powerful. Be direct and honest with a man, without worrying about his feelings (but not attacking them either), and a man will know he is being treated as a man, not as a child.

An Unmarried Man said...

A good yardstick is this: if you express it in such a way that your HR department would castigate you, then you're doing it right.

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