Sunday, May 15, 2011

Yes, women really do lie

In which a feminist belatedly discovers that women do lie... albeit only at the cost of her son facing criminal charges:
Despite no evidence, despite the fact that she is obviously a troubled woman, despite other attempts by her in the past to accuse people of hurting her in some way, despite her own admissions of wanting to sue others still, despite my son’s spotless record and the support of myriad women who have known him for years, the state has chosen to pursue this “case.”

If you think that women don’t lie to get back at men, how naive can you be? Yet we live in a culture of “women don’t lie,” a culture fostered by women’s groups since the 70s. A culture I helped create and support. A philosophy I believed.... But who is going to protect our sons? We who were on the front lines in the 70s when things were bad for women, we have raised good sons. Men we are proud of. Who will stand up for them?

I am now appalled to think that I was one of these women who thought that women don’t lie…and where there smoke there’s always a fire. Despite having raised a beautiful son, I was a sexist. Then I started doing research. There have been studies done since the 80s citing the percentage of rape allegations that are false. Some studies say as high as 60%. People who have been dealing with this for years have tried to tell us that women do lie. But we haven’t wanted to hear.
It's always fascinating how few women can understand the larger societal realities until it comes to affect them personally in some manner. This woman spent literal decades working to advance the very thinking that has placed her son in jeopardy, and only now is she suddenly open to the possibility that a woman might, on occasion, be less than perfectly honest.

As every player knows, women lie with brutal abandon, usually starting with themselves. Not that men don't lie, they most certainly do. But they are significantly less likely to lie to themselves. The female tendency to self-deception is one of the single most important aspects of Game to accept and master, as a failure to understand it will usually lead to significant relationship difficulties that are otherwise easily avoided. And for the would-be ALPHA, learning how to make use of that tendency is a highly useful skill.

It may sound strange to point out what most men probably believe to be obvious, but most men prone to pedestalizing either women in general or a specific woman, (which is to say deltas and gammas) genuinely believe that women are intrinsically honest by nature. It is their very innocence that leads them to become the most inveterate women haters when that innocence blows up in their faces. Whereas the ALPHA knows that women uniformly lie with some degree of predictability, is amused by it and even makes use of it on occasion, the BETA usually believes that women don't lie until the cognitive dissonance between his beliefs and the female actions he has observed become too great for the former to survive.

17 comments:

JT said...

Vox: "The female tendency to self-deception is one of the single most important aspects of Game to accept and master"

What does it mean for a man "to master" the "female tendency to self-deception"?

I can master my own skills, but how do I master other people's defects?

Just by getting used to not taking their words at face value or something else?

VD said...

It means learning how to utilize the defects of others to your own benefit. Alphas do this all the time, as they behave in a manner that permits the woman to lie to herself. For example, it's totally absurd for a woman to decide that she needs to see your library or your dog at midnight. The unaware man will not understand that the woman is only attempting to generate an excuse for herself to put herself in a sexual situation without having to acknowledge that she is doing so.

The aware man, knowing the female need for self-deception, will proactively offer up such excuses, making it even easier for her. But it's not only useful in sexual situations, it's also quite applicable to financial situations as well.

realmatt said...

The "Aware Man"? Don't you mean..THE CONSCIOUS MAN???? Mwahahahhaa

JT said...

I think I got the 1st paragraph but could you please give me an example of this in a "financial situation"?

VD said...

Take a married couple. The woman wants a new car, but she doesn't handle the finances and doesn't really know if the couple can afford it or not. So, instead of simply saying that she would like a new car, she will likely produce a string of ludicrous reasons why she needs a new car.

The husband who is unaware of the female need for self-deception will take her words at face value and try to explain to her why her reasons don't make sense and therefore a new car is not needed. This will not go well because he is addressing the self-deception, not the actual desire.

The husband who is aware of it will completely ignore her literal words and the spurious reasons, and correctly interpret them as cover for an underlying desire for a car. He may decide to buy the new car or not buy it, as he thinks best, but the important thing is that he understands the relevant point.

Anonymous said...

Money quote of the article --> "We who were on the front lines in the 70s when things were bad for women, we have raised good sons. Men we are proud of. Who will stand up for them?"

Bottom line: She has not truly seen the light yet. She still believes that feminist ideology was/is not only right but necessary to save oppressed wymynkind. Her only objection this time is because of the potential personal loss to *her* of her pet son.

Athor Pel said...

"...we have raised good sons. Men we are proud of. Who will stand up for them?"

I don't think she sees how contradictory these sentences are.

They say they raised "men" they are proud of and then they ask who will stand up for those "men", as if those men are incapable of standing up for themselves. It's still mommy to the rescue.

LP2021 Bank of LP Work in Progress said...

Parents have a strange way to reaping what they sow into their children.

The mother writes; I have watched my son for 40 years. I have watched him grow from boy to man. I have seen him in his interactions with women and men. I have marveled at his sensitivity, his empathy. Many times I have thought, “Wow, he is a feminist’s dream. A man who listens. Who cares. Who is strong and deeply spiritual. A man who can be a woman’s friend. Who can comfort another in time of need. He is truly a good and decent man.

LP: Yes, you set him up for failure. Now, the girl is mentally ill? Well, what kind of smart young boy dates someone who is taking serious medications for a stigmatic mental illness? His fault for being understanding and loving - This poor girls fault for being mentally deficient. Too deficient to date and tell difference between a lie you tell to yourself to feel better and the lie to tell others with serious consequences attached to those lies. Good luck to the young man with loser women in his life, may he find the truth.

Ben said...

Is this a general rule for all women, or are some groups of women different? Regardless it seems pretty obvious to me that women lie, cheat and steal.

All I'm saying is that some women are more prone to do these things than other women.

LP2021 Bank of LP Work in Progress said...

Was meaning to say, great anthem for the gamma to the left of the blog.

Would-have-been Victim said...

Yes, women do lie.

At work a woman accused me of stalking her and harassing her. This was a lady I barely knew or saw. What made her relent was a written, signed statement from me--and the threat of legal action.

I hate lawyers, but sometimes it's good to have one as a friend.

FP said...

Athor Pel, sure men can defend themselves and they should but most will be ignored.


The kicker is that mommy may be the only one who can effectively defend him in this PC feminist world she helped create and even then she'll be dismissed as hopelessly biased for her son.

Mark said...

RE lying to herself

A statement I find myself uttering to my beloved wife at least once a month: You're deluding yourself if you believe [such and such], dear.

indyguy77@work said...

"Bottom line: She has not truly seen the light yet. She still believes that feminist ideology was/is not only right but necessary to save oppressed wymynkind. Her only objection this time is because of the potential personal loss to *her* of her pet son."

OT, but it occurs to me this is the same reason pro-abortion wretches want us to grieve over their miscarriages:

"BUT I WANTED THAT ONE!"

LP2021 Bank of LP Work in Progress said...

hi Ben,

Men and women lie. You don't need me to say, we are fallen - we have to be honest and avoid snowflaking or as Vox already mentioned pedestaling. We want to beleive that we lie less than others based on our faith or desire to do good and be honest. Such is the walk of life.

Ben said...

Is Vox just critiquing modern society by and large, because you could probably go back to 1950's american society and have a different view of how the sexes acted.

Anonymous said...

I dunno, I remember lots of old guys in the 19050s bitching that their wives tricked them into marriage, by not contracepting as promised, or presenting someone else's kid as his own. There was lots of ill will in marriage post-WWII. It came out in the writings of the time. Women were dismissed as lying, cheating, fat, frigid, stupid, frustrated. I've always believed that women's lib was a reaction to the disdain for women expressed by male elites in the 50s.

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