Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Women: don't cut your damn hair

Athol Kay explains why it is a bad idea:
Dozens of times in my life I've experienced having one of those mild background crush feelings for a woman, instantly disappear as soon as she cuts her hair very short. I mean seriously, real feelings of attraction just instantly gone. Monday I was into you with your pretty shoulder length hair; Tuesday morning arrived and you walked in with it trimmed away to not all that much, and I have no more attraction to you.

Of course all her friends and coworkers just love her new hair style! Of course they would, she just botched her appearance and if she falls off the top of the sexy ladder, everyone else gets to move up a place. So like OMG I just love it!
I am among the many men who absolutely despise short hair on women. If a woman's hairstyle is described as "cute", I can just about guarantee that I'm going to hate it. Even when an attractive woman can pull it off, she almost invariably looks even better with long hair. Spacebunny has long, blonde hair, longer than it was when we met, and I like it just as it is. I would hate for her to cut it off. Athol is correct to point out the ulterior motive women have for praising women who chop their hair off, as it makes them look more attractive in comparison.

So why do women do it when so many men actively hate short hair? I think there are two reasons, one which applies to younger women and one which applies to older women. Because only a very pretty woman can look attractive in a short hairstyle, female logic tells the woman contemplating hair-butchery that if she cuts her hair off and can manage to pull off the look, then she must be extremely attractive. This sounds absurd to the rational mind, but remember, most women overrate themselves by at least two points because they rate themselves by their hottest-ever hookup rather than by the average of their past romantic record. And since she will inevitably be rewarded with praise from her female friends, she wrongly concludes that she has indeed pulled it off and is therefore highly attractive even as her attractiveness drops a point or two in the eyes of all the men around her.

The second reason is that women are much more concerned about hair health than men are. So, as they age and their hair turns grey and loses texture and body, they believe they will look better if they just cut it off. Which is ridiculous, at least as far as men are concerned, as evidenced by Athol's preference for his wife's "badly-damaged-with-an-accidental-bleaching-incident" hair to her healthy, natural, brunette hair. One need only to have lived in the 80s to realize that men could not possibly care less about the appeal of "healthy hair" what with all the perms, home-bleaching, and cheap hair spray that was de rigueur back then.

The unpleasant, but observable fact is that post-menopausal women who cut their hair off tend to look like short, squatty men, even if they elect to rock that inexplicable blue puff perm on top that is apparently meant to signify female status. Forget who is more attractive, who looks more female, this woman or this one? Guys of any age don't care how healthy a woman's hair happens to look if she looks like a freaking man; it's not as if men turn gay because Matt Damon's coiffure has a healthy, well-conditioned shine.

Anyhow, if you're a woman, let your locks flow long and don't trust any woman who encourages you to chop them off. The more hair, the more better.

418 comments:

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FG said...

Here's the thing, though, men. It's not about you.

*drops mic*

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LivLouise said...

Seriously? Guess what friend, not all women feel like they need to match up to your fucking standards. Women weren't made "for men". Get over yourself. If you are that shallow, then who the hell would want to hang out with you anyways? You sound like someone who's stuck in the 1800's. Maybe you should put more focus on how you can be less of a condescending asshole than on someone's HAIR.

Penelope said...

I love this post! I feel the same way, and see many women in their 40s, 50s, and 60s with long hair that look gorgeous with it. Look at Jane Seymour and Christie Brinkley! Elle MacPhereson is another... in her 50s and with long gorgeous hair. While I'm internally gleeful when a gal I don't like cuts off her gorgeous hair, I am honest with friends and tell them to keep it long. I have long hair, I think it looks better on most women, and I think men who want women to cut their hair are like women who do... they want the woman to lose her sexual appeal. That the Rev. thinks women who are older shouldn't try to compete with younger women is insulting... it's not "competing" to want to still look feminine as you get older, and aging doesn't mean you can't be attractive and have to stop trying to be in order to be dignified. I think I find this particularly offensive because a priest I once respected required his aging wife to be modest, sedate, keep her hair shirt and her skirts long, and wear darker, "respectable" colors... then we found out he had a mistress with waist length hair who wore short skirts and giggled a lot. No one has a right to tell a woman to de-feminize herself and go off into the sunset without her crowning glory as she ages because she isn't 20 anymore and shouldn't bother.

Thanks for a GREAT, spot on article... I laughed at the "OMG you look so good with short hair!" bit about us women (it's the truth) and the perming of postmenopausal hair to somewhat differentiate these women from males of the same age. Awesome!

MichaelJMaier said...

wow.... This sure is a lot of stupid bitches complaining about male preferences.

Zoe said...

What makes you think that women give a sh*t what men think of them? Why on earth should a woman care if guys find her attractive? A woman is a strong, independent, free human being that can do whatever the hell she wants and not care about anyone. That's my opinion.

M said...

You are all so ridiculous, women cut their hair because they want to. Not because they are lesbians or sluts (and that goes for the people who commented at the top of the blog). I used to have really long hair and cut it just to change my appearance and see what it would look like, and I am about to do it again. Yes, a pixie. If you really think you can't tell the difference between a man and a woman you probably should get an eye check.
It is pathetic the way you look for approval and involve religion and supposed mandatory hairlenghts for men and women. Hair grow, get over it.

GirlReading said...

"most women overrate themselves by at least two point"

The pot is calling the kettle black.

cappuccino said...

I was on the fence about chopping off my hair for a while now but you've really helped me make a decision! It's all coming off! Thanks buddy.

Unknown said...

hhhaaha
silly pissed off women
'I think your opinion is stupid and that you're too sensitive to blatant sexism, so i'm going to make fun of you for it and make you seem stupid because I think I'm right'
like whatever, fuck off

Terence said...

Reasons vary. I've overheard groups of women trying to get the longest haired one among them to start wearing it short. She's told how much work it takes or that now, since she's been married for x number of years, she can cut it much shorter and the husband won't divorce her and that he'll never give her the green light to do so. It can also be jealousy if one woman of mature years, get more compliments and positive attention from males, for having well groomed and nice, long hair while the others have bought into the so-called 'mature' short lengths. And who do I usually see advocating this? Not women, but 'professional' hair dressing men like Jose Eber or some scientist that just loves women's hair. Furthermore, it seems this discussion is about Western women. Try butch jobs in Indian and it could have fatal results. Some cultures are long haired with their women regardless of the time or fashion. In the Western cultures it's seems more a matter of convenience and fashion which, without either, I'm not sure how females would look as so many rely on experts and profesionals like Edward Bernays said (author of Propaganda spoke at UCLA and I heard his lecture) because they don't won't to take full responsibility for hard descisions. Healthy hair can be had, but it takes smart handling at every age. Also, and this is a stretch, I think some of this hair cutting is getting folks primed for the LBGT, and unisex looks now rife in media and general culture. Our sensibilities are being marinated into this new standard of transgender and that ilk.

Unknown said...

Okay, first of all....I see all those religious comments and frankly, I have no idea what religion and God have to do with the lenght of a woman's hair, and I don't think that God's will would involve the lenght of a woman's hair. Second of all, I don't have a problem with men expressing their opinions and prefering longer hair on a woman, but I have a problem with men who are so aggressive and mysoginistic about it. I also find it quite incredible that in the 21st century, there are still men who do not seem to understand that women don't cut their hair to be less attractive or to piss off men or other such ridiculous things; they cut their hair for many reasons that don't have anything to do with the opposite sex. Also, women liking short hair on other women just means they like short hair on other women, I think it is ridiculous to think they like it because it makes them less attractive to men, thus eliminating some competition for longer hair gals. Personnally, I love both long and short hair, but I know how much long hair can be a pain to brush, to clean, they get everywhere, etc. A woman cutting her hair short does not mean she is a lesbian, or a tomboy (and if she is who cares) or less attractive to every man; some men do prefer short hair and others don't have any preference in that matter. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years now and I had every lenght (from very short to mid-back long hair) and every colour and he liked it all. He never thought I was less attractive or less of a woman or boyish because of short hair. Whatever the cut I have he tells me it's the cut he prefers because he litteraly prefers anything on me since he always finds me attractive and beautiful no matter the hairstyle. And personnally, I do prefer when my guy has longer hair and beard, but sometimes he prefers shorter hair and no beard and I don't think he is less attractive and yes I have my preferences, but he can do whatever he wants, it's his hair, it's his decision. Because that's what I prefer does not mean I am going to write an article to bash on men who do not fit my preferences to tell them they should and that they are less attractive.

So all of that to say...we all have the right to our opinions, but can we stop assuming things about women AND men according to their hair length or style? And can we just let people do whatever they want without always being judging or acting like our opinions are the mirror of what everybody else thinks?

Jean said...

I know I'm late to the party, but...........I'm past 60 and am finally growing out my hair, as I look 20 years younger with it long. Long, healthy hair on women is a genetic sign of fertility, as are large breasts, wide hips and long legs. While far too many of us don't fit that profile, long hair can be had by most women who are willing to take care of it. I've also stopped coloring my hair and it's coming in like sterling silver as opposed to just grey. My men friends love it and I will continue to grow it as long as I can.

Unknown said...

It's so awesome I don't care about your opinion:)

Unknown said...

I love not shedding all over my bathroom floor every morning after washing. Love not waiting for it to dry. Love not buying product. Love that a rainy day doesn't leave me with wet hair for hours at inconvenient times. I can go backpacking with less stress. All these conveniences that men take for granted. Isn't it great that they are given the option without the judgement? Maybe we should consider the most practical things as the most desirable--or, at least qualify them.

Unknown said...

This comment section is ridiculous - almost if not more so than the original post. Y'all, really , one tired dudes opinion doesn't matter. He doesn't speak for everyone, excluding the few incessant pissants who are griping about women in the comments.

Cut it, shave it, grow it, whatever. It's just hair, a renewable aesthetic (to most).

OC said...

While long hair is very attractive, so is a nice short Pixie Cut just as sexy. My wife grew her hair from layered at chin, shoulders bra waist to 9'3" long from 1973 to 1979. I was so glad when she asked could she cut it because she was pregnant. We went to the Beauty Shop and she had a Pixie Cut which she chose as and easy style. Gone was the 4.23 Lbs. of hair, gone were the 45 min hair shampooing's and 14 hour hair dryings over the bed posts, Long was sexy but she emerged more radiant in a Pixie Cut. So Now she has grown it to waist length every 4 years and donated it so she can have a change in styles and loves growing and then cutting, the best of the long and short of it.

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