Friday, March 11, 2011

NAWALT and You

From Urban Dictionary:

acronym for 'not all women are like that.'
Repeated endlessly by women to men in hopes that if men hear NAWALT frequently enough, they'll believe it.

The reality is that all women ARE like that (manipulative, abusive, sociopathic, destructive, drama-oriented, liars).

The acronym NAWALT has its origin in the belief that women as a collective are complicit in the implementation of injustices against men during the last 40 years. As you can see from the more commonly used meaning above, it's come to signify the degenerate nature of all women, on all fronts.
If you are interested in learning Game strictly to get beautiful women into bed, you may find that subscribing to this broader meaning does not interfere with your objectives. Indeed, it may inure you to the "collateral damage" that may occur if a woman catches feelings for you.
As a blogger who writes about relationships, and appreciates the potential of Game for its ability to increase the pool of eligible men, I would point out that swallowing this particularly bitter pill will disqualify all women as unworthy of your love and trust. If your goal is to find a partner worthy of you, then you must be disciplined about evaluating women for character.
There are some ways in which all women are the same, i.e. "like that":
1. All women share a biological imperative to reproduce, with complementary strategies for short- and long-term mating. Social dominance is a key attraction trigger for women, as it implies a man's ability to garner power, and therefore resources.
2. All women under 40 have been raised in the feminist era, and have benefited from its changes with respect to opportunities in education, the workplace, and state assistance.
3. All women under 40 have been raised in a highly materialistic and consumerist culture.
4. All women under 40 have witnessed a weakening of the American family, due to a reshuffling of gender roles, the "divorce as emancipation" meme that came out of the Women's Movement, and declining rates of marriage and childbirth.
5. All women born after 1955 grew up with a media that found the feminist goal of fully unleashed female sexuality extremely profitable. Hypergamy swept the population as women started gunning for the most desirable men, having learned that shedding clothes invited male attention and validation, even if temporarily.
6. All women educated since 1990 or so were subjected to specific curricula designed to enhance their self-esteem, and close the perceived academic gap with boys. (The boys, meanwhile, were subjected to a realigning of standards in schools to reward strictly female ways of learning and behaving.)

Obviously, men have been exposed to precisely the same trends, but have responded very differently. They were not coddled as women were, into believing in the precious gift of their unique "specialness." The corresponding effect to the "men are delaying maturity" theme, recently written about by Kay Hymowitz and others, is the explosion of female narcissism. Once believed to be a personality disorder primarily displayed by males, it's now 50/50 (and rising).
It's no wonder that many men believe that there are no good women left, at least not in the U.S. If, despite everything, you hope to find a woman partner, then you must:
1. Abandon blaming the female collective in your personal life.
2. Learn how to discriminate between worthy women and narcissist head cases.
While it's tempting to bemoan the state of the American female, in truth we reside on a spectrum of beliefs, attitudes and characteristics. Once a woman has crossed your threshold of physical attraction, it's your responsibility to evaluate her full character. I suggest the following approach:

Personality Traits

Personality is thought to be about half inherited, half acquired. The acquired traits depend on a host of factors that you needn't worry about. If her family life was terrible, it will show up in her personality. If she's been highly promiscuous, it will show up here. Her behavior will tell you everything you need to know. The frequent advice to ignore what a woman says in favor of what she does is excellent. Take people at face value - that applies to both sexes.
The dominant psychological model for evaluating personality consists of the Big 5 primary traits:
I. Openness - desire for new experiences; curious vs. cautious
II. Conscientiousness - self-discipline; preference for plans vs. spontaneity
III. Extraversion - tendency to seek out stimulation, and the company of others
IV. Agreeableness - compassionate and cooperative vs. self-interest
V. Neuroticism - emotional instability
A woman with a high degree of openness, low conscientiousness, high extraversion, low agreeableness and high neuroticism?
Every man's nightmare. (Note: it is precisely this male profile that succeeds so well with women.)

The last 40 years have seen a dramatic increase in the acquisition of undesirable traits. In addition, recent research indicates that about 25% of the population has a mutation on the D4 dopamine receptor, leading to high impulsivity, high risk-seeking, and a high desire for novelty.
Look for women who:
  1. Are interested in and open to new experiences, but not reckless. They pursue a variety of independent interests. They don't throw caution to the winds. They are moderate drinkers. They weigh novelty vs. consequences.
  2. Demonstrate self-discipline. They have a strong future time orientation. Fitness and spending habits are two good clues.
  3. Enjoy interacting with others but have no need to be the center of attention. Beware a woman who always wants to go out, who can't get enough of the party scene. Rule out women who dress extremely provocatively or flirt shamelessly.
  4. Actively display kindness and compassion. They take turns paying or reciprocate generosity with effort. They demonstrate appreciation for good treatment. They like men.
  5. Are not psycho bitches. Any woman who loses control, yelling, crying, having a tantrum, is not a suitable relationship prospect. Yes, we get upset, but men tolerate far too many female histrionics in the belief that we're all like that. Don't feed that beast.
The women who meet these criteria will not be the ones who are grinding in a bar. They will not have the showiest online dating profiles. You will most likely need to employ day Game, which is challenging.
The SMP is in a state of extreme dysfunction. Those looking for more than a casual hookup will have to navigate the treacherous landscape in a systematic and deliberate way. There are good women out there - Spacebunny and myself are just two examples. :)
  • Don't give women a free pass. Make them prove their worth before you invest any emotional resources.
  • Display a low tolerance for unattractive behaviors. Reward only desirable behaviors.
It's not romantic, but after 40 years of social re-engineering, some pragmatism is called for.


Markku said...

NAWALT is accurate at face value, but the comedy lies in the tone in which is said. It always means "I'm not like that!", when nobody was talking about her in specific.

Markku said...

NAWALT is the textbook example of snowflaking - it is so obvious that few men can resist grinning when they hear it. If a woman can come up with a more subtle way to snowflake, I'm sure many men will be impressed by that alone.

VD said...

Excellent post, Susan. It is, of course, logically absurd to assume that all women are identically responsive to the same stimuli. It doesn't detract from the insights of Game in the least to note that women are theoretically capable of surmounting their bio-mechanical instincts, even if a large percentage of them either cannot or choose not to do so.

Mutly said...

Susan -- As Vox says you're logically correct. Unfortunately game takes place in the larger social construct. While a woman may well have stepped outside the feminist paradigm of the west the operating paradigm will still have to be combated continually. This will still make marriage a minefield as society, the legal system and (for you christians) most churches continue to make it a lose-lose situation for men.
It is not impossible to find a good woman, but like the proverbial needle the search is difficult and needs to be undertaken with a clear understanding of cost/benefit for LTR's.

Nate said...

As always women have a far flatter bell curve in virtually everything... so... in fact.. They ARE all like that. Or at least... the odds that they are like that are far far greater than the odds that All Men are like that.

In short... its highly unlikey that women have either Alphas or Omegas... at least not enough to truly matter.

Markku said...

Nate: What you mean is steeper bell curve. In other words, it goes towards zero much faster when you deviate from the center.

Nate said...

No. I mean a flatter bell curve. Just as there are fewer women on the extremes on intellect... so are there fewer women on the extremes of the fem psycho behavior scale.

Markku said...

Which makes a steeper bell curve. Think about it. If there are fewer women one male standard deviation away from the center, then women's curve must be at a lower point there than men's. And since the integral of a Gaussian is 1, women's curve must be at a higher point at the center. Making the curve steeper.

Nate said...

I am sleep deprived... and watching basketball.

you're correct.

It's like one giant tit.

Stingray said...

Has Susan or Vox ever thought about a hierarchy for women? Not so much in the socio-sexual hierarchy that is at this site for men but one based more on marriage material or at least long term dating.

It seems as if there are many men out there trying to better themselves to improve their marriage or pick up women. I think that maybe it is time for women to do the same. And maybe some will try to better themselves to find a good husband or to get off or stay off the carousel.

I know, I know. . . women don't change . . . and of course NAWALT. However, I have seen that a few might be starting to get that it might not just be the men that are at fault here. Maybe you all could throw some more information their way.

Nate said...

We have a scale for women. its 1 through 10 from Whale Troll to Jessica Alba.

Stingray said...

Well, yeah. But isn't that based mostly on looks? Seen some gorgeous women who are cringe inducing when it comes to marriage material.

Markku said...

Alpha needs no more than that scale, since he will be able to domesticate any 10. A delta, however, will have to consider such things as neuroticism and all that's mentioned in this post, and adjust accordingly.

Stingray said...

Right. I got that Markku. I am talking about a scale that a woman would look at to improve herself. To make herself better for her husband or to attract a good man for a LTR. I am moving beyond the male socio-sexual hierarchy used here to help men improve themselves and asking if there might be one for those few women out there trying to improve themselves for their men.

Nate said...

The good lady has given you the means to evaluate women.

I suggest you change yourself though.

Women are coping mechanisms. That's what they are at thier core. They cope. In fact... they need things to cope with. Give it to them.... not by screwing with them... but by simply being uncontrollable.

Women love what they cannot control.

Viking said...

All women are like that. Just some very rare ones realize that and keep it in check. We all have a fallen nature. We must fight the good fight against that fallen nature. We must run the race until we are done and go home.

revrogers said...

Excellent observations and conclusions, Susan. This may prove very useful in my pastoral instruction and counseling of women (accompanied by my wife, of course).

VD said...

Has Susan or Vox ever thought about a hierarchy for women?

It's not so much a hierarchy as a matrix, due to men's dual interests in maximizing physical appeal and minimizing sexual experience. So, the matrix ranges from Chaste Barbie at the top to Slutty Coyote at the bottom.

Here is the full matrix. It could use some more work, but it's a start.

Nate said...

Vox... you over-weighted chastity on that scale.

VD said...

Note that is the LTR/Marriage scale. The short-term scale would look very different, as I noted in the post. I'll add the latter and post both variants here next week.

Nate said...

not saying chastity doesn't matter... just saying that in most men's eyes... its as big a deal as you make it out to be on the scale.

Or... it could be that its not a linear application in the matrix. For example chasity matters less for a 9 or 10 than it does for a 6 or 7.

That is... a 7 that's a chaste can reasonably land a Voxian Beta... while a 7 that's a whore cannot... and may not even have good luck with deltas.

Nate said...

by contrast... a 9 or 10 can be a huge whore and still get a high beta...and possibly even an alpha.


Mr Estevez is in a LTR with 2 porn stars.... one of which I recently saw with a baseball bat up her ass.

Perhaps Chuck isn't so Alpha... or... Chasity doesn't mean what it used to.

LP2021 Bank of LP Work in Progress said...

Great post Susan.

I long forgotten that Vox had already covered the female hierarchy over the summer. I was happy to read that again.

After 40 years of this horrific social experiment called feminism, most if not all women become absorbed in this devolution of the western culture.

Women must resist begging for attention, neuroticism (I see it in myself and around my family - oh its scary) and this endless feed of emotionalism everywhere like movies, news, music, in the conversations of most less intellectual types of people.

A very key point here for me watching another woman's (or mans) her actions, you will know who they are by their fruit. Or in a more personal way, are my actions pleasing to Christ - are my actions reasonable, good and peaceable?

Susan Walsh said...

Thanks for all the good comments! It's probably true that an Alpha doesn't need to be so careful, though he will have a happier home life if he is. Even if he tames the psycho bitch, he's still with a woman who's just one step away from crazy. Then again, maybe he likes that.

One of the reasons I'm a big fan of Game is that it can produce something close to the perfect mate when added to non-alpha traits. Natural alphas don't make very good long-term partners. There are even a couple of profs at Harvard b-school who have a consulting business helping alphas develop skills required in organizations, such as collaboration and openness to the ideas of others.

You can add alpha to all the other levels of the hierarchy, but you can't add beta to alpha. And women do want some beta traits. I know this is heresy, but I'll direct you to Athol Kay for a cogent explanation of why this is so. It boils down to needing both dominance and comfort in a LTR.

Men in the process of becoming more alpha may find themselves interacting with a much broader array of women. Suddenly they're getting shit tests from the women who never game them the time of day before. If a relationship is the eventual goal, then compatibility is crucial, which means finding someone of similar values and character. I don't agree that it's a needle in a haystack, but I do believe a man must be very discriminating about the behavior he'll tolerate if he wants to find a worthy partner.

I like Vox's matrix, and I don't think there's a Game equivalent for women. However, I believe that the approach of judging people quickly by their actions works for women as well. I've written many posts about how women can avoid getting played, and it boils down to the same general method: be on the alert for any sign that you're dealing with a person who is unempathic, irresponsible, impulsive, unreliable, self-centered, etc.

As far as women undertaking self-development in the way that Game does for men? Yes, I think that's also a good idea. For example, I've written about how American women are no longer feminine - we were taught that was wrong, and we've lost touch with our femininity to a large extent. I then solicited some great feedback from the men and described what femininity means to them. It's basically a blueprint for women who want to develop that part of themselves (and they should, because men want feminine women).

LP2021 Bank of LP Work in Progress said...

Very true Susan. American women are nearing towards the unfeminine, fatness, cynical, hair brained in their actions. And I am attempting to be as charitable as possible here :).

Josh said...

We also have another way of evaluating women to determine their pig value, with a 20 yr old virgin being worth 50 pigs.

Jack Amok said...

Thanks Susan. The key letter in NAWALT is the T. That. Because in truth, all women are like that, if you're clear about what that is.

Not all women are psycho bitches. But all women who are psycho bitches are lousy long-term partners. Not all women are cheating, backstabbing whores, but all women who cheat on their boyfriends are cheating, backstabbing whores. etc. You get the picture.

The real value of a guy knowing that all women are like that is knowing that a woman who exhibits one or more of the negative traits Susan mentions is not worth your time. Those are all markers of a woman who wasn't taught how to be civilized, and uncivilized women are trouble.

Their special snowflakiness won't make up for bad behavior. Don't buy it. AWALT, if they never learned to be better. Pass them by and look for a woman who's actions prove she really isn't like that.

Nate said...

the pig scale!!! I forgot about the pig scale!!!

Desert Cat said...

And women do want some beta traits. I know this is heresy, but I'll direct you to Athol Kay for a cogent explanation of why this is so. It boils down to needing both dominance and comfort in a LTR.

Susan, you may want to google "Narciso Babaero" or "Hempstead Village Renaissance" to find a rather insightful series of posts that expand upon this concept of Alpha/Beta balance in LTR.

I'm pretty sure there is something to this.

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Denstar51 said...

I was NOT one of those men who was discerning. My wife was a pathological liar, gutter whore, and murderer. Her first husband divorced her for cruelty, husband no. 2 committed suicide by slitting his throat.
I KNEW NOTHING OF THIS until after she died. I have proof, DOCUMENTED PROOF Not to mention other things. You have to be crazy to take a woman's word on face value. NAWALT is just a snowjob by a gynocentric society that hates men. Albeit there is women like this, but few in numbers and in great demand. The average working class man has poor chances and so great a competition for them. I don't give a dam if I'm called a mysoginist.

humblejewishman said...

Wow I didn't know a woman wrote this until I saw the last line. Nice try. I used to think along these lines, but not anymore. NAWALT is a lie. All women are like this because they are all under the curse of Jehovah to menstruate which deals with their biology, and psychology of their hormones. All transwomen are even worse because they think they are women and they overcompensate. I do not even believe people should be playing gender roles, I want people to be free to decide but they CANNOT not when women are FORCED by biology to bleed once a month. So yes, all women are like this, and they cannot overcome it unless they can somehow stop menstruating and change their biology of their brains. The whole idea that real men don't show how their feelings are hurt or don't get angry with people is bullshit there is no such thing as a real man. Men can be whoever they want. Women cannot, women are bound by the curse.

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