I am constantly looking for ideas to create conflict with my inner delta. I am looking for situations that will bring my deltaness to the surface ...at which point I will wrap my fingers around those thoughts and squeeze. You get the idea.
The other day, I decided to go beard-free. I have either been with beard or goatee for 10 years. I have noticed recently that more and more emasculated men sport the goat, therefore it is time to disassociate myself. In the past I would have just shaved it off, gotten two or three comments, and gone on with life. Not this time. This time I went with the full-blown Elvis sideburns that are two strands of hair short of mutton chops. My purpose was to get reactions from people so I could evaluate how alpha or non-alpha I reacted to these reactions and modify my own reactions as I went.
The first three opportunities, I couldn't shut myself up. I was yabbering on about this being the first time in a decade with a bare chin, and thanks, and other such examples of diarrhea mouth. After the third time, I realized I was in for a fight with my inner delta. I chambered another round and remembered the maxim: when in doubt, shut up. The next couple of comments I waited, then just nodded and said nothing. Then something remarkable happened, something clicked!
Suddenly, the responses I got went from "what-the...?" and "shave it off" to "Elvis!" or "Wolverine!" Now when someone attempts to mention my new appearance in a derogatory tone, I respond in one of two ways. I either give them a sarcastic verbal agree-and-amplify: "I'm glad you like it, I did it JUST for YOU." Or, I pause, look at the intruder, nod and grunt. For the last two weeks, this little shaving exercise has been effective at resetting the different pecking orders I am in.
To get out of a rut sometimes one must turn the wheel and step on the gas. If anyone has other suggestions to locate and strangle my delicate inner delta, fire away.
- DJ
27 comments:
I understand what you're trying to do.
While the technique makes sense and will result in some improvement, it also encourages a self-flagellating and self-conscious portion of your psyche that is detrimental to Game.
It's a paradox. Internalization is a feature of low status males. Now you've internalized your internalization.
If you begin to address that level of Game problem, then I'm interested.
@dantes
The "inner conversation" is challenge to many of us who score above average on standardized tests. How do you recommend redirecting this energy toward better use?
I'm impressed that you hit three of the key concepts right away:
High intelligence
Inner monologue
Redirecting energy
I have an answer that works for me. I don't know if it will work for anyone else.
Here are a few links:
the main explanation: http://josephsblog.typepad.com/shorts/2010/12/edenic-soul-inner-game-gave-me-the-soul-ive-always-wanted-instantly.html
the category on my blog: http://josephsblog.typepad.com/shorts/koanic-deluge/
the wiki: http://joseph-dantes.wikidot.com/edenic-soul-mnemonic-reminder
Are you deep down going for Alpha, or are you deep down going for Sigma to stanch the Delta juices gurgling up?
Seems an Alpha intuitively would work up the social ladder, while a Sigma would calculatingly work "around" it so to speak.
The shock you're employing sounds Sigmaish. Seems as though those around you hadn't seen your vitriol towards them coming, which is the expected reaction to a Sigma.
I think the commenters themselves are overthinking it.
DJ has chosen consciously to "man up" and to do what pleases himself without needing the approval of others. Or, like the rest of us, he at least needs to "fake it 'til he makes it."
Keep up the good work, DJ.
Not all of us are naturals. Medal of Honor winners testify they had to swallow their fear and do their duty.
Even the Apostle Paul has to exhort whole churches to "act like men" in the face of real persecution.
This is a brilliant post, and more in the series are needed. Self-improvement is difficult for the ingrained delta.
I chambered another round and remembered the maxim: when in doubt, shut up.
Compiling a list of "when in doubts" is a great way to strangle the delta. When in doubt, smirk.
remembered the maxim: when in doubt, shut up.
Had to lol at that. I can't tell you how many times, after a bout of verbal diarrhea dropped my status in someone's eyes, I said to myself "just shut UP Desert Cat!"
When in doubt, have a desire and follow through on obtaining it. If you don't have a desire - because you're delta by nature - invent one.
I have been reading the game stuff and the question that keeps coming to mind is "Why?". Now I know that as a teenager I was a gamma but as an adult I am a delta yet I can not for the life of me think of one thing I did to change, other than simply mature. I also have to say that there is "according to my wife" an element of the sigma to my nature, but that has more to do with my asperger's than anything else.
As far as I am concerned, having been happily married for 20 years, I have won the game so to speak. The thing is I am comfortable with who I am and what I have in life. The number of children I have (6) is a testament to my very healthy sex life.
So why would I want to try to be something I am not? I would venture that is the sigma part of my personality my wife says is there.
Well, Eaglewood, while everyone is a unique and precious snowflake, this implies that not everyone is a snowflake like you.
Would you understand the absurdity of Bill Gates saying that because he is happy and content, why should anyone else need more money?
So you have a wife, six children, and lots of sex. Good for you! Three cheers for Eaglewood!
Now, what do you have to offer the men who don't have such things but would like to have them? Perhaps you see no possible areas of improvement in your life, in which case, by all means, don't improve. But what does your personal satisfaction have to do with anyone else's?
And the obvious answer to your question "why?" is "Because Eaglewood is not the sum total of the male population of the species."
Game is not for the content, it is for the discontent.
@Eaglewood
Vox put it well, as this is for those not content with their situation. If my web-eviseration helps others strangle their weaknesses great.
@Gyom
Beauty of being a Delta: As I continue to learn the game I can choose to flip the sigma switch or the alpha switch pending on circumstances.
@Dantes
thanks for the links.
How did I KNOW I would get this response. Trust me I do not see myself as a snowflake I would say men like me are a dime a dozen.
You are right game is for the discontent, but that begs the question of why is someone discontent. How do we as Christian men reconcile this with Paul's admonition to be content in all things that we have. In fact I would say one of the prime motivators in sin is being discontent.
What do I have to offer? It would take time to evaluate, but one thing is for sure a comment on a post would not cover it. Though I would say that real change takes more than superficial measures. Our OP said he made a superficial change to his outward appearance, but that in of itself did not change how people reacted. The real change was in his attitude.
So in reality I would say game is not really the answer. I am sure it may help the random dude to score with some chick who would be slightly inclined to do so anyway, but is that a way to model your life?
As we have learned from Mr. Harris, anticipating a response does not mean that the response is not merited. It is clear that you have completely failed to understand the core mechanism of Game, as you are misled by the fact that the mechanism was developed by the PUAs.
Unless your life is truly optimal in every way, then you must have something to learn from those who naturally behave in a more effective manner than you do. This can apply to a broad range of human activity, including Christian evangelism, it is not limited to intersexual relations.
And furthermore, as a happily married father, learning to articulate your success in Game terms will allow you to teach those who don't have your natural skills to emulate your example if a wife and children are a life objective.
There is a distinct possibility that I have misunderstood the entire scope of the idea, but in fairness it really has nothing to do with the source as much as how the discussions always end up devolving into the subject of how to bed the most "quality" chicks. So while intellectually I understand that the idea is to try and use Game Theory to help men improve in all areas of their lives, in practice the discussions, at least from what I have seen, tend to devolve to the artistry of the PUA.
While the "snowflake" comment is supposed to diffuse my question by attempting belittle who I am, still my question is real and valid.
How does the Christian man reconcile Game, which you have admitted is for the discontent with the Biblical admonition to be content in all things.
How do you Eaglewood reconcile Paul's admonition to be content in all things, with his admonition to run the race earnestly, striving to be the one (and only one) to win the crown?
I'd say you're pulling one verse out of context and attempting to make it the whole story.
Cat,
I do not have the time to delve into it properly at this time as I am fixing to take my boys out to see a movie, but I would at this point ask you the same question.
How would you reconcile the two? I went and researched several complimentary verses by at least two Biblical authors and will be more than happy to reconcile them all when I have a little bit more time.
"In practice the discussions, at least from what I have seen, tend to devolve to the artistry of the PUA."
Of course they do! Because that's the development source of Game. This blog is quite possibly the first place where the core mechanism of Game has ever been explained in a manner that makes it clear that it has applicability beyond men's relationships with women. And it's all of five days old....
I am on my way out the door and don't have time to reread both passages, but IIRC when talking about being content Paul was referring to his outward circumstances. His admonition to run the race was referring to his inward circumstances, who he was in Christ, striving for the prize of living Christ's plan fully through his life.
As I see it, the broader application of Game impinges directly on that inner struggle to overcome.
"This blog is quite possibly the first place where the core mechanism of Game has ever been explained in a manner that makes it clear that it has applicability beyond men's relationships with women."
If that is the case I eagerly look forward to seeing how things develop. My observations have been for the most part over at Vox Popoli.
"IIRC when talking about being content Paul was referring to his outward circumstances. His admonition to run the race was referring to his inward circumstances, who he was in Christ, striving for the prize of living Christ's plan fully through his life."
In essence you are correct, the admonition to run the race was to strive to live a life completely devoted to Him, striving in all things to be like our Lord, I would suggest that an examination of His life shows He was content not just in what He had, but in who He was.
My point is that in reading this the OP seems to think there is something inherently wrong with being a delta to the point that he makes superficial changes to his appearance.
Why is it somehow better to be an alpha, sigma, or a beta, than it is to be a delta? My understanding from reading these discussions is that the delta is the everyman, stable, and dependable. Sure if you have true character flaws you ought to work on improving yourself, I just cannot see how being a delta is somehow a character flaw that needs to be corrected.
Vox,
You say this site is about more than sexual status, yet in the post you wrote on the definitions it is solely based upon sexual status.
So which is it?
@Eaglewood & Cat
As I examine myself I utilize all of the available tools. The Bible being my primary tool.
Game as defined by the PUA culture is to me a caricature of an aspect of true manhood. Within every caricature there is an element of truth. I bought the pablum fed to me by the US public school system hook line and sinker about male and femaleness. Part of me taking the "red pill" is to look for pieces of accurate maleness, wherever they lie. I am working on a post about how I am teaching my son to be a man through the lens of game.
What does my facial hair say about my status (or rank) in Game? As i consciously observe my own behavior, I find myself wondering what my own goatee/mustache is saying about me?
Is there a listing or pairing to rank and facial hair? Or are beards and 'staches essentially neutral?
Drew,
I would say they are neutral. It is not so much about outward appearance as it is about how you comport yourself. If you feel good about wearing one then do so.
But I am a delta happy with being one so take it for what it is worth.
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