Learning by example

This exchange in the comments between Delta Man and Mindstorm is a very illustrative example of Gamma in action:

Mindstorm: Also remember, being shot down by a porker is more mentally damaging than by a slightly above average cutie.

Delta Man: Is this what you fear?

Mindstorm: No, it's what I despise. BTW, on the scale between 1 and 10, the average is not exactly five, but halfway between five and six. And no amount of ALLCAPS and exclamation points would change that.

Delta Man: the precise numerical value is irrelevant; you missed the point. 

Mindstorm: For an irrelevant value, you were pretty emphatic. My fears are even less relevant, so what? I don't think that I was missing your point at all. It wasn't particularly insightful or revelatory. I just enjoy rattling your chain, if you haven't noticed. Don't let me detain you, though.

How do we know Mindstorm is a Gamma? First, he considers "being shot down by a porker" to be mentally damaging. Gammas don't only aim too high because they are delusional, but because they are very protective of their fragile egos. To be shot down by "a slightly above average cutie" (note the very non-Alpha language) is acceptable, because "cuties" theoretically shoot down lots of men. But to be shot down by a porker is hurtful, because it punctures the Gamma's delusion bubble and forces him to face his low sexual market value.

Second, note that Mindstorm can't simply be honest about being afraid of what he quite obviously fears. In his fear of admitting to being afraid, he becomes incoherent. We're supposed to believe that he's not afraid of being damaged mentally, but he despises it? How does that make any sense at all? It doesn't. It's an instinctive evasive behavior.

Third, note the typical Gamma dishonesty and reactive passive-aggression. Because Delta Man has observed a potential weakness in him, he has to posture, pose, and pretend indifference and superiority by utilizing a barrage of word salad. It's like watching a squid eject ink in an attempt to escape.

Now ask yourself, does this fool you? And if it doesn't, do you really think you're fooling anyone else when you resort to this behavior under pressure?

Meanwhile, Jay strikes right to the heart of the Gamma delusion bubble:

The problem is I already "know" that my level is low, I just "feel" like its higher. 

That's totally normal. But self-improvement is the only way to increase your level, and you can't improve yourself so long as you permit your actions to be guided by your feelings rather than by your knowledge.

Delta Perspective: Dating Part I

I’m posting early this week in hopes of helping some men get a date this weekend.

I’m going to give you the very technique that I and another Gamma friend of mine both discovered and used to not only date, but eventually get married. It helped me move from Gamma to Delta and him from a low Gamma to a high Gamma. I’ve never seen anything like it, though I must admit I haven’t looked at all of the men’s dating sites so maybe something like it exists. I think it is at least a little unique because so much of the advice is given by Alphas and while good it doesn’t really apply very well to a Gamma or even a struggling Delta when they are looking for a date on Saturday night.

To use the football analogy again if you are a quarterback struggling to make an NFL team, hearing advice from Joe Montana on how to win your 4th Super Bowl ring when you need footwork advice isn’t very helpful. This isn’t to say you can’t aspire to be Joe Montana or he doesn’t have a lot of good things to say, but you have to make the practice squad first before you can win that Super Bowl and maybe a backup veteran QB with an average career can help you make that first step.

I’m going to present the steps here and then detail how it works so you can start on it immediately if you like. Not only will you get to talk to and date women beyond friends you will also discover your actual rank by using the plan below. All of the quizzes to find your rank are baloney because people always overrate themselves in them and this is proof right from the market itself.

How to get a date this Saturday night, or at least very soon

1. Sign up for a couple of dating websites like match.com or whatever you like and fill out the profile honestly. Don’t get too hung up on this step as there’s no magic profile, the key is to honest about yourself and what you are looking for.
2. Make an honest attempt to find average (AVERAGE IS FIVE!!!) women in your age range. I’ll detail average below, but if you’ve struggled with online dating in the past there’s a good chance the “average” girl you are hitting on is above average. Send these women messages.
3. Wait for the responses, which you should receive within a few days or week.
4. If you receive little to no response, lower your standards and send out more messages.
5. Repeat the above and keep lowering your standards until you receive positive responses.
6. Start talking to them and even if they have flaws go out on a date with them.
7. Congratulations you are now dating and know your market value!

Step 1

A number of years ago a friend of mine called who had been through a painful divorce a few years earlier; he wanted to enter the market and knew I was engaged. He specifically asked me how he should write his profile, as though I was some magical wordsmith who could woo a lady with the clever wit of my bio. When I said that he should be honest in his profile I was amused when he responded, “I didn’t think of that. Honesty, that’s a good idea.” I just laughed and told him to be upfront about who he was, and what he wanted.

This is the first place where so many guys go wrong when they want to attract a woman. It’s not about particular behaviors, but who you are. To repeat: your difficulty with women isn’t that you don’t know the right thing to say at any given moment it’s the essence of your being which is the heart of the problem. The good news is you can change, even if the change is hard, but why wait for months or years to get a date? Unless you are an Omega, who you are now is actually attractive to some women even if you rank very low.

You can’t keep up a front anyways, or pretend to be something you are not as women aren’t stupid and will figure it out given enough time despite your best efforts. Don’t take a girl to a fine restaurant to impress her if you never go to them, you probably won’t even know how to order correctly and it will show. Don’t drink wine in front of her if you prefer beer. Don’t lie about your finances as she can see it in your clothes and vehicle. Don’t be something you are not. If your ranks line up properly, as in you rank a three and she ranks a three then it will work. Now if you don’t like whom you are when you are honest then that’s another subject, but we are dealing with who are right now, and I want you meeting and dating women now and not later. There’s no time like the present for dating.

Step 2

Average is 5. Repeat average is 5. Did you read that carefully? Average is 5. I have to drill this into your heads because the two mistakes I see men most commonly make in dating is 1) overrating themselves 2) going for women out of their league.

The mean height of 20-29 year olds is ~5’3” and they weigh ~157 pounds. Think about the fact that that is now average. When’s the last time you were interested in a 5’3” 160 pound woman? If you are constantly going after women with a better height to weight ratio you aren’t going after average, you are going after above average which means you have to be above average yourself to have a shot. Don’t like it? Too bad. That’s average. Think that’s too fat for you? Nobody cares about your opinion.  Weren’t people thinner in the past? Yes, but it doesn’t change what they are now. Are you telling me to date fat sluts? No, but be aware that if you want better than this YOU HAVE TO BE BETTER TOO.

Knowing this, when you look at the profile pictures of women on dating sites realize those “fat girls” which you have probably skipped in the past or want to skip now are average and this is where you start. This is 5, this is average, and this is the reality of the market now. You can either accept this reality, or put up a delusion bubble and keep doing what you were doing which isn’t working.


On the site find at least a dozen women, preferably two dozen or more, who are average in appearance, weight, and you are at least a little attracted to. It is better at this point to set your sites a little low than too high. When in doubt, aim a bit lower here. Remember you aren’t going to marry every girl you contact; you are fishing for interest and to see where you rank so you need to start in the middle. The results of this test will let you know and if you are average too, then land a date rather quickly if that is your rank or higher.

Step 3

This is the easiest step and the data for the evaluation. If you get few or no positive responses then I have bad news for you:    YOU < 5. If you receive about 25%-66% in return you are around average. If you receive over >66% return then you are above average. Remember that they may not respond for other reasons than just your rank. Maybe they are dating someone now and didn’t take down your profile, or they simply didn’t like how you look. Even Alphas don’t have a 100% success rate. There’s another possibility here too, which is despite my best effort in Step 2 you ignored it and “average” in your mind is really closer to 7+. If you did this and didn’t receive any response you need to re-read Step 2, try again, and then carry on to Step 4 below regardless.

Steps 4 & 5

These steps are necessary if you received few responses, and let’s make something very clear. If a sample (12-36) of 5’3” 160 pound women aren’t interested in you at all then this clearly, without exception means you are not even average. You are probably in the 1-3 range and likely a Gamma. There’s no way around this fact because you just went and tested the market and received your feedback in the form of actual data. This isn’t some silly quiz, or your best friend telling you what you want to hear about yourself. This is the market responding to you, and I bet you like the free market. Well, the sexual market is free too and speaks loudly about the participants. Don’t stop, and don’t let this fact make you give up. I know it does for a lot of men, especially Gammas who constantly think they are special snowflakes.

Now it’s time to aim for the threes and fours if the fives aren’t biting. This means they will likely have a higher BMI, have a number of failed relationships behind them, possible have a child, be unattractive, extremely socially awkward or weird, have dead end or no jobs, or possibly even suffer from emotional problems. I’m not going to romanticize this at all, which is what Gammas are prone to do with the fantasy of the pretty girl who thinks they are ugly. That’s pure fiction and the women in this stratum know they aren’t as desirable as other women, but they aren’t evil or wicked human beings either because of their low rank. Are you worthless because you can’t score average women? Nope. It just means you are below average like millions of other people. You need to find where you fit in.

You are just going to have to keep lowering your standards until you start to get bites if you are still striking out. For some men reading this, the low rank of the women who are actually interested in them is going to come to an absolute shock, but once again it is the reality of who you are. Men talk about taking the red pill, but are you really willing to follow that rabbit hole? What if at the end of that journey you find out you are a two? This is possible and if you’ve been a long time without even a date, likely.

There’s hope at the end of this journey because it is above all based upon the truth of who you actually are and not a fictional version you might have in your head. Remember low rank !=worthless. A perfect example is a relative of ours who is a Delta of low rank, and yet he has a loyal wife and great sons one of which recently got a scholarship. The guy is just the kind of man you'd want on your team, or to rely upon if things get tough. He’s a pretty happy guy and always good to be around. He’s a solid low ranking Delta but he will never be an Alpha, but there’s not a Gamma bone in his body. It would be foolish on his part to judge the worth of his life on his SMV because he’s in a good spot right where he’s at. In my next post I’ll detail the final steps and how to use your experience with the above plan to get where you want to go.

Two types of female laughter

SciVo understood what I was pointing out about why it's foolish to try to attract women by making them laugh:

When women say that they want a guy that makes them laugh, it's practically a tautology: they want a guy that they want. They have the causality backward -- they laugh because they're attracted to him, not the other way around -- and probably most of them aren't even aware of it. Of course, laughter is only a sign of attraction if they're laughing with you and not at you, so the sign of approval elicited by clowning around is a fake one that won't lead anywhere.

This is correct. And it's important to distinguish between attracted laughter and amused laughter. The former is when the girl laughs at anything an attractive man says and plays with her hair. The latter is when she's watching a comedian do standup.

The fact that a woman laughs at something Michael Macintyre or Frankie Boyle says does not indicate that she is sexually attracted to him. Nor will she be attracted to you if you manage to amuse her in some manner by your clowning. In fact, the genuinely funnier you are, the less likely it is that a woman's laughter means that she is attracted to you.

Delta Perspective: Don’t be that guy

This is the opening weekend for the new Terminator movie and whatever you do; do not do Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions. In fact, never do one again the rest of your life if you’ve done one. They aren’t good or funny unless you are professional comedian and no girl on the entire planet out of billions will think you are funny for doing it and be attracted to you.

Instead, if your friends do them watch the women around you grow increasingly uncomfortable and want to leave the area. Silly voices and impressions are for professional comedians, puppet shows, and Gammas.

Delta Perspective: Yesterday at the coffee maker

There is no way to escape who you are, as you can only make efforts to change how you behave. Our formative years and past experiences are always there and the behaviors we learned come back quickly and naturally.

Yesterday morning when I went for coffee there was a new girl in the office, she was blonde and a solid 6. We made good eye contact, and when I went to fill up my cup she inquired about the unusual design. The answer to her question was, “No”, and that should have been the end of the conversation about the cup. Of course my old, helpful Gamma past came up and I had to give two sentences about why the answer is “No”. It wasn’t needed and I could see in her eye she wasn’t interested in knowing about the cup, but rather was just making small talk.

When I sat down at my desk, I just laughed at myself about it. I’m happily married with a family with no designs on the girl; I have no fear of women, and don’t take shit from them. But there it was like a bad penny showing up, my old Gamma “Me have information, me useful to you!” inclination hiding in the bushes and just dying to get out. 

So two lessons here: First is, you can’t escape your past completely and it will be a recurring battle, and second, when you lose a minor skirmish with your past, don't beat yourself up over it, just laugh it off, learn from it, and vow to do better next time.

Vox adds: This is true no matter what sociosexual status you happen to have. Reprogramming our instinctive reactions is considerably more difficult than reprogramming our intentional behavior. The trick is to restrain the former in order to control the situation with the latter, assuming the latter is to be preferred.

They're not all whores

But a surprising number of them are at heart. And it's always amusing to see how angry some women get when they find out how much their bodies are actually worth in the real world markets:

Grisha Mamurin, the grandson of one of Russia’s richest oligarchs, Igor Nekludov, has been the subject of online rage for posting videos of women kissing him and showing their breasts for money. Various outlets, decidedly or implicitly feminist, or just covering the regular news cycle, have described the different scenarios as “degrading” or “humiliating”.

Virtually no mainstream commentators, unless you count members of the public in discussion sections, have sought to hold the girls accountable for their conscious choice to strip naked for or kiss Mamurin in view of perhaps hundreds of fellow Russians.

Because Mamurin’s asking price was only the equivalent of $120 (a larger sum in Russia but by no means massive), the scenes raise alarming questions about the extent to which many women will perform certain sexual acts for money. In addition, there has been a subsequent and all-encompassing infantilization of these girls by feminists.

These compulsive SJWs, unsurprisingly, solely blame the male offering the financial incentive for the perceived degradation and humiliation. The logically pervasive theme of their explanations, though they would deny it, is that large numbers of women cannot control themselves when asked to perform for only a moderate sum of money. So imagine the lack of self-control and self-determination if that figure were $12,000 or $120,000, not $120.

At the end of the day, if you're going to look at things from a material perspective, it's all supply and demand. And the thing about attractive young women is that they are literally making more of them every single day. The supply is far from infinite, of course, but there are no involuntary monopolies.

Ironically enough, it's the very women who are most angered by those whose equalitarian policies are to blame for reducing young women to valuing themselves, and being valued, for nothing more than what they bring to the sexual table.

Alpha Mail: dynamic sociosexuality

TB had two questions:

1)  In your opinion/to your best guess, is changing sociosexual tendencies (omega/gamma to delta, delta to beta) something akin to homosexuality where it'll be something a person will struggle with their whole life, trying not to fall back into their old rank yet being very tempted to?  Or is it something closer to 'if you're still tempted to do old rank stuff, you haven't quite left it'?

2)  You are of a very different temperament than I.  Regardless, it may be very instructive for me to ask, in your experience how does one deal with a fear of the unknown

Because we are shaped by our experiences, and because those experiences do not disappear simply because we have new experiences, there is always the danger of reverting to previous patterns of behavior. Sociosexuality is dynamic, situational, and relative, so sociosexual rank is neither a life sentence nor carved in stone.

As far as dealing with a fear of the unknown goes, in my experience, the only way to successfully eradicate fear is to face it. When I was young, I quite reasonably shied away from contact on the soccer field. I was half the size of the defenders guarding me and I wore glasses to boot.

It took several years of heavy contact martial arts to shake that instinctive fear of contact, but directly confronting it worked very well. It worked so well that now I'm moderately notorious in our veteran's league for physically punishing defenders; it is a rare game that I don't leave two or three defenders on the ground as a result of challenging me for the ball.

Brian Billick gave the best advice anyone has ever given on confronting fear.

"When you go in the lion's den, you don't tippy-toe in. You carry a spear, you go in screaming like a banshee, you kick whatever doors in, and say, 'Where's the son of a bitch!' If you go in any other way you're gonna lose."