Alpha Mail: don't fear the flirts

JF is overly concerned about what women think:

Had a question that I’m somewhat struggling with.  I’m by nature, personality wise, a delta, but because I’m tall, built and fairly good looking probably fall more into the beta range on your scale.  First of all I’m a follower of Jesus, and second I’m very happily married, so I have no interest in flirting with women.  However, I work in a female heavy environment and am trying to figure out how to assert more dominance/influence without being flirty.  It is not unusual to have women lock eye contact with me, and I get uncomfortable for two reasons.  One being, I’m naturally a delta, and the other is that I don’t want to be seen as a flirt.  How do I handle eye contact like this without looking weak?  Right now I just end up looking away, which seems lame.  Same applies outside of the office also, for instance just a few minutes ago an attractive woman lock eye contact with me at the coffee shop for probably five secs and I finally looked away because obviously I don’t want to give any false impression. 

I have to say this for the man, he has properly identified his socio-sexual mindset and that is always encouraging. Most men tend to get very uncomfortable when women hold eye contact. And men who are not dominant often tend to worry excessively about how their behavior is interpreted.

Fortunately, the answer is very simple. First, don't worry about how your actions are viewed by others. You know your intentions better than they do. Remember, women are capable of assigning whatever interpretation they want to any action; does anyone think that an omega who holds eye contact with a woman is going to give her the false impression that he's flirting with her? And attention whores regularly make ludicrous claims about men being interested in them, wanting to marry them, and so forth.

My advice to JF is to stop thinking about the subject, stop caring what these women may happen to think, and if a woman locks eyes with him, to smile, snort, shake his head and turn away. It's a dismissal, and a dismissal when a woman is (potentially) expressing interest is both dominant and non-flirtatious.

While being dominant will tend to increase female interest, women are not social masochists and they are unlikely to pursue married man who manifestly shows negative interest in them. There are few things that women fear more than public humiliation, after all. The one potential problem is the psychos who will attempt to engage him in a conversation nominally meant to clarify that they are not at all interested in him, not even a little bit, which is why it is necessary for them to spend every opportunity convincing him that he was wrong to reject her out of hand.

But the main thing is to stop concerning oneself with the possibility that one's actions will be misconstrued. Maybe they will be misconstrued. So what? Do you worry when your dog wrongly thinks you're about to feed him? In like manner, why would you be even remotely concerned that a coworker might fail to grok your essence in its entirety?

30 questions

I'm contemplating writing the first Alpha Game book this summer. Rather than doing my usual thing and writing an esoteric 750-page monster that mostly revolves around abstract principles, I'm going to focus on addressing, in a clear and succinct manner, the 30 primary questions that young men have concerning intersexual relations.

For example, the first question I have addressed is: Why doesn't she like me?

So, here is my question to you all. Given that the focus is on young men from 15-25, what are the questions you would most like to see addressed and answered in this book?

A false indictment

Blaming the Androsphere for PUAHater Elliot Rodger's actions is akin to blaming the NAACP for the lynching of black men:

In Elliot Rodger's YouTube "manifesto", recorded before he killed six in Isla Vista, California, he said his actions were provoked by women who spurned his romantic advances in favour of men he considered less appealing.

This led to the creation of the #YesAllWomen Twitter hashtag, with women sharing stories of sexual harassment and assault as a push back against those who dismissed Rodger's views as the rantings of a mentally ill individual.

Another debate over gender and sex has arisen from Rodger's use of language often associated with the "pick-up artist" (PUA) community, and news reports indicate that he took interest in the techniques and views espoused by a subculture that seeks to offer advice on how men can be more successful at attracting members of the opposite sex.

This advice, critics say, objectifies women and may have fuelled Rodger's anger. Bustle's Sarah Hedgecock offers her take on the PUA world:

Dedicated to having sex with women determined to score at least 7 out of 10 on the PUA scale of attractiveness, these men trade tips for scoring "targets" (yes, that's code for "women") and becoming the dominant dudes they believe all women truly want to sleep with. These are the guys who try to pick women up by insulting - or "negging" - them. The beliefs that women control the sexual market, that one is owed sex for doing favours for women, that girls only sleep with jerks and that there is one true key to getting all the (straight, hetero, unattached) sex a man could want form the basic creed of the PUA community. Women, in PUA culture, are not humans deserving of respect; they are a necessary evil to conquer in the name of sex.

It would be very difficult to get the basic concepts of Game more wrong than Ms Hedgecock has managed to do. Let's consider her statements:

1. Dedicated to having sex with 7+ women? Wrong. Game is all about setting reasonable targets; a gamma is never going to score an HB7+. It's about improvement no matter where a man begins.
2. Trading tips? Fair enough. Check.
3. Becoming dominant dudes that women want sexually? It's an exaggeration, but close enough. Check.
4. Guys who try to pick up women by insulting them. Wrong. Some players neg. Others don't. Negging is just one tool in a very large toolbox.
5. Believe that women control the sexual market. Check. They do.
6. One is owed sex for doing favors for women? Wrong. That's literal delta anti-Game.
7. Girls only sleep with jerks? Wrong. They PREFER jerks, but they'll reliably exchange sex for support once the Wall begins to loom.
8. There is one true key? Wrong. Hence the size of the toolbox.
9. Women are not humans deserving of respect. Wrong. Because women are human, they do not intrinsically deserve respect on the basis of possessing a vagina.
10. Women are a necessary evil to conquer. Absolutely wrong. Who said anything about necessary? Now, they are societally necessary when taken in the collective, but the core of the player's abundance mentality is the understanding that no individual woman is necessary or irreplaceable.

Elliot Rodgers had two chances. God and Game. Either could have saved him. He rejected both. And so to blame either is absurd on its face.

The scars of puppy love

It's remarkable when people so completely forget their own youthful social hierarchy as to find Elliot Rodger's angry despair inexplicable:

A model who the California gunman Elliot Rodger named as his "first crush" and vilified in his twisted manifesto as an "evil b----" is said to be distraught. According to her relations Monette Moio met Rodger at school when she was just 10 and doesn't even remember him.

In his manifesto titled "My Twisted World" the deranged young man, who killed six people in Isla Vista, Santa Barbara, last week, claimed that Miss Moio had teased him when they were children and "wounded me deeply"....

"The whole thing is so creepy. It's scary even though he's gone. She doesn't even remember this guy. She's always been the most delicate kid you'd ever want to meet. For him to call her a bully, this kid was really disillusioned. She was 10 years old. It was just an illusion this kid built in his own mind. She hadn't seen him since seventh grade." 

In other words, she met him at a young and formative age, went to school with him for four years, and she still doesn't even remember him. The kid was certainly disillusioned, but it wasn't an illusion he built in his own mind, it was an illusion he was fed by the people around him. The fact that his first crush doesn't remember him doesn't minimize the consequences of her actions, rather, it proves the relevance of Game and the need for it in order to understand the socio-sexual dynamics that contributed to the recent tragedy.

Rodger was, quite literally, beneath Moio's notice in junior high school. Like many pretty, popular girls do, she probably expressed her amusement and disdain when Rodger, a gamma at best, attempted to interact with her in some clumsy manner. There would be no reason for her to remember doing so, she probably treated every boy of insufficient socio-sexual rank at school the same way. Nor can she be reasonably criticized for behaving in that manner, as it is as much a natural aspect of establishing and policing the socio-sexual hierarchy as the alpha boys pushing around the deltas and the low deltas tormenting the omegas.

I daresay everyone remembers the individual with whom they were first enthralled at a young age. I can still remember each of the four girls I liked in elementary school and junior high. I was more fortunate, I think, in that the girl on whom I had a particular crush was friendly and kind, although she did not return my interest at the time.

A world of white knights

An experiment shows that strangers are ready to rush in to defend women, but laugh at men being attacked:

A hard-hitting experiment has revealed how strangers react differently when seeing domestic abuse depending on the gender of the aggressor. A video filmed with hidden cameras at a London park shows a male actor attacking his ‘girlfriend’ in front of onlookers who immediately rush to help, with one shouting: ‘Oi mate, what's wrong with you?’ The man is told ‘someone will call the police if you carry on doing that to someone’, before a passer-by says to the woman: ‘You don't have to put up with that honey, he's not worth it’.

The experiment is then conducted with the same actors - but this time, the woman is the aggressor, attacking him and saying: ‘Don't try to walk away - listen to me when I'm talking to you.’

However, instead of reacting with shock, nobody watching even attempts to help the man. They actually seem rather entertained by the incident, stopping to stare and laughing about it.

No wonder Ray Rice is still being publicly pilloried for knocking out his fiance, despite the fact that the woman went on to marry him, the prosecutors struck a deal involving no jail time, and his lawyer has strongly implied that Rice was defending himself against a physical attack by his now-wife.

One might wonder at the man's willingness to marry a woman who attacked him, but then, one tends to doubt he'll have any future trouble of that sort with her.

Blue Pill Bodycount

In which we see how the lack of Game can prove deadly to young men and women alike in an environment of unrestricted female sexuality:

'I'm 22 years old and I'm still a virgin. I've never even kissed a girl,' he says in the video'. College is the time when everyone experiences those things such as sex and fun and pleasure. But in those years I've had to rot in loneliness. It's not fair. You girls have never been attracted to me. I don't know why you girls aren't attracted to me. But I will punish you all for it,' he says in the video, which runs to almost seven minutes.

He repeatedly promises to 'punish' women and lays out his plan for 'retribution.'

'I'm going to enter the hottest sorority house of UCSB and I will slaughter every single spoilt, stuck-up, blonde s**t that I see inside there. All those girls that I've desired so much, they would've all rejected me and looked down on me as an inferior man if I ever made a sexual advance towards them,' he says.

'I'll take great pleasure in slaughtering all of you. You will finally see that I am, in truth, the superior one. The true alpha male,' he laughs like a maniacal movie villain. 'Yes... After I have annihilated every single girl in the sorority house I will take to the streets of Isla Vista and slay every single person I see there. All those popular kids who live such lives of hedonistic pleasure...'

Rodger's Twitter account has only two tweets, posted on April 19 and 20.

'Why are girls sexually attracted to obnoxious, brutish men instead of sophisticated gentlemen such as myself?

The rage of the Omega is boundless. The young man wasn't bad-looking. He was obviously well-off. He drove a nice black BMW. And yet, his anti-Game was so bad that he made it to 22 without ever so much as kissing a girl. No wonder he was murderously furious with women.

There are two clues to his problem. The first is that he considered himself a "sophisticated gentleman" at 22. Girls in their teens and early 20's aren't attracted to sophisticated gentlemen who treat them well. They are attracted to jerks who treat them indifferently, and the more arrogant the jerk, the better. The second is the fact that he was a literal "PUAhater" who was opposed to the androsphere and everything it stands for.

Taken together, this indicates that Rodgers was an omega male who simply couldn't accept female nature for what it is. He refused to take the red pill, and the blue pill bodycount wound up at seven.

Hypergamy in the kitchen

One of the many reasons that women in the workforce tend to create problems that would not otherwise be there: it is normal for women to become attracted to their male superiors. It also puts a revised perspective on so-called sexual harassment:

Does the gender of your boss make a difference?

I can’t speak for other women, but for me, having a female boss and male boss is very different. I tend to develop crushes on my bosses. It’s like there’s a need for approval from any male boss, like wanting their 100 percent approval. But if it’s a female boss, I’m usually thinking, Do you have respect for my work ethic? I would work just as hard and give it my all for a man or a woman, but I guess I always end up fantasizing about any of my male bosses.

Women naturally respond in a sexual manner to a man who is in a dominant position over them. This doesn't mean they will act on their instincts, but it needs to be recognized that the instinctive response is there in order for it to be managed effectively by all the relevant parties.