Life isn't personal

Badger points out that not taking things personally is a badge of male honor. And like most things male honor-related, it is a complete mystery to women:

Guys don’t really have to shit-test each other because the male social environment contains an implicit contract of competition – we understand that we’re supposed to respond to challenges by competing, and that those who compete frequently or well have enhanced opportunities in the social order.

However, it’s also critical to acknowledge that the competition is a game, to not take it personally. That’s what is communicated by the post-game handshake. It’s a way for the loser to say “nice job,” and the winner to thank the loser for putting up a good fight. Even if you are hurt or humiliated, it’s an offer you need to accept as a way of showing there’s no hard feelings.

I would note that it goes even further than the realm of competition. Yesterday, at the gym, a careless guy took all the weights off one side of the curl bar. There were a considerable quantity of weights on the other side; one guess what happened.

The problem was that I was standing just on the other side of the bar with my back to it. So the weighted side of the bar crashed to the floor and caused the bar to flip over and whip over as per the force of gravity. Fortunately, I heard the crash and something caused me to step sideways rather than turn around to see what happened. The end of the metal bar smashed down where I'd been standing; it probably wouldn't have injured me too badly, but it would have hurt and it definitely wasn't the sort of blow you'd want to take to your lower spine.

The guy responsible immediately ran over and apologized profusely. He didn't attempt to disclaim responsibility, he didn't make any excuses, and he didn't try to blame me for being in the wrong place. He just apologized. For my part, I didn't get angry with him, I didn't lecture him on being more careful next time, and I didn't take the opportunity to play the victim in some way. I just assured him it was no problem, it was nothing, and no harm had been done.

In five seconds, it was finished. He cleaned up the weights, and we went on with our workouts. There was no drama, no issue, no lingering resentments to be resolved.

To take everything personally, from a sporting defeat to a minor accident, is to be fundamentally unmasculine. The fact that the interests of others often run contrary to our own does not mean that they have anything to do with us personally. Don't be afraid to apologize or to accept apologies. Learn to leave the spirit of opposition on the playing field and save your wrath for the wicked, for those whose enmity is specific and personal and temporally unlimited.

It's not a surprise that the female boxer did not touch gloves after being defeated. She has no male honor and everything is personal for her. The match may be over, but you can be sure that she still sees the man with whom she was boxing as her opponent. In fact, she probably sees many men with whom she has never boxed and never will box as her opponents.

Slenderexy is hotter and healthier too

Recently, Tuthmosis has come in for some heavy criticism for his praise of women with so-called eating disorders, so much, in fact, that the international media has now joined in the hysteria.

A blogger who caused outrage by advising men to date women with an eating disorder says he is bemused by the 'female histrionics' the controversial article has provoked. Tuthmosis has refused to apologize and says people offended by his '5 Reasons To Date A Girl With An Eating Disorder' post need to get some 'perspective'. The blog tells men to date anorexics and bulimics because they 'cost less money' and 'her obsession over her body will improve her overall looks'....

A number of petitions have since been set up calling for the blog to be taken down, and one has received more than 12,000 signatures. Since it went live on November 13, the writer has been accused of 'dangerously and absurdly' trivializing the disease, which affects about 20 million woman and 10 million men in the U.S.

The Return of Kings blog post states that eating disorders are a 'luxury reserved for only the most privileged members of the female race'.

'In other words, the presence of one of the classic eating disorders is a reliable predictor of various socio-economic, cultural, and personality traits in a young woman -- features that, in the end, are desirable to today’s American man,' the writer, who says he has dated 'several' girls with an eating disorder, explains in his post.

Tuthmosis is correct to respond to the female histrionics with bemused and condescending laughter. So-called "eating disorders" are not only almost completely harmless, but they are materially beneficial to millions of men and women who would otherwise be obese and diabetic. And they are both materially and aesthetically beneficial to the hundreds of millions of men and women who would otherwise have to look at them, pay taxes for their medical care, and bury them.

It is important to understand that anorexia barely kills anyone.  Virtually no one who has it is at any risk of dying from it, as per the US National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health, which cited a study entitled "Death from anorexia nervosa: age span and sex differences".

The purpose of this study was to assess characteristics of individuals who died from anorexia nervosa by assessing the frequency with which anorexia nervosa is listed as a causal factor related to the death of individuals in the USA. Data from over 10 million death records (all National Center for Health Statistic registered deaths in the USA for 1986-90) were examined for mention of anorexia nervosa as a primary or contributing cause of death. Only 724 were found, which equals an average of 145 annual deaths, and a rate of 6.73 per 100,000 deaths. The age and sex distribution suggests two fatal forms of anorexia nervosa, an early-onset form comprising 89% women and a later form comprising 24% men. The findings suggest that the mortality risk from current anorexia nervosa may be lower than formerly supposed and that it is not confined to young adults and adolescents.

That's almost exactly the same number of people who annually die in school-transportation related crashes, which amounts to 142 annual deaths. Considering that far more people eat than go to school, it should be obvious that unless one considers school transportation to be a serious danger to society, one cannot rationally consider "eating disorders" to be one either.

A "disease" that affects 30 million people and kills one out of every 206,897 of the individuals who contract it is simply not a serious societal problem, especially not when considered in light of how diabetes contributed to 231,404 deaths in 2011. 28.5 million Americans suffer from diabetes, so the risk of death from diabetes is one in 111. That means the risk of dying from diabetes is 1,855 TIMES HIGHER than the risk of dying from an eating disorder.

Stuff that in your piehole, fatty. Better yet, stick your finger down your throat if you want to live... and that's not even considering amputations, blindness, and other non-fatal complications.

Tuthmosis should not be criticized, he should be praised as a great champion of women's health. It's no accident that none of the criticism directed towards him is even related to the points he raised. Anything that keeps fat men and women from stuffing their faces is an important and desirable step towards a healthier future for them. An "eating disorder" is a hell of a lot less risky than gastric-bypass surgery.

Slender women are not only healthier than fat women, they are considerably more attractive. I prefer women with a BMI between 16 and 18 myself. Your mileage may vary, but anything over 21 is getting a bit porcine for the average non-athlete and anything over 25 starts increasing the aforementioned risk of diabetes. There are many healty, attractive, active women with three, four, or even five children whose BMIs are well south of 20.

Everything can be taken to a dangerous extreme, even drinking water. But that doesn't mean that one should conclude that drinking water is a deadly danger best avoided. The pejorative terms "eating disorder" and "anorexia" should be reserved for that tiny percentage of men and women who are actually at serious risk of starving themselves to death. For the overwhelming majority, being slenderexy should be considered something that is desirable, fortunate, and beneficial for women.

Roosh, meanwhile, formally defends Tuthmosis despite mistakenly buying into the myth of the seriousness of "eating disorders":

The delivery of ideas like these may make some people uncomfortable, but they are based on our experiences and views of the world. We speak the truths that politically correct outlets are too afraid to share because of sensitive mainstream readers who lose their composure at anything they disagree with.

I want to make it clear that we at ROK are not promoting eating disorders. These are devastating illnesses on those whom they afflict, and we wish sufferers are able to receive the treatment they need. It is unfortunate that sufferers continue to be stigmatized by society, so it surprises me that Tuthmosis’ article has been angrily received when it attempts to reduce stigma by encouraging our male readership to give women with anorexia and bulimia an opportunity for real intimacy. This is far better than merely giving patronizing e-support by outlets like Huffington Post.

We are educating our masculine readers not to pass on eating disorder victims just because they have an illness, yet instead of receiving thanks, we’re receiving hate instead. If we all had cancer, and someone wrote an article titled “5 Reasons To Fornicate With A Man Who Has Cancer,” we would spread it far and wide to make fornicating with us a better proposition for women. 

Happy Thanksgiving

By the President of the United States of America, a Proclamation.

Whereas it is the duty of all Nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey his will, to be grateful for his benefits, and humbly to implore his protection and favor - and whereas both Houses of Congress have by their joint Committee requested me to recommend to the People of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many signal favors of Almighty God especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness.

Now therefore I do recommend and assign Thursday the 26th day of November next to be devoted by the People of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being, who is the beneficent Author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be - That we may then all unite in rendering unto him our sincere and humble thanks - for his kind care and protection of the People of this Country previous to their becoming a Nation - for the signal and manifold mercies, and the favorable interpositions of his Providence which we experienced in the course and conclusion of the late war - for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty, which we have since enjoyed - for the peaceable and rational manner, in which we have been enabled to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national One now lately instituted - for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed; and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and in general for all the great and various favors which he hath been pleased to confer upon us.

And also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech him to pardon our national and other transgressions - to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually - to render our national government a blessing to all the people, by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed - to protect and guide all Sovereigns and Nations (especially such as have shewn kindness unto us) and to bless them with good government, peace, and concord - To promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the encrease of science among them and us - and generally to grant unto all Mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as he alone knows to be best.

Given under my hand at the City of New York the third day of October in the year of our Lord 1789.

George Washington

Alpha Mail: playing with fire

RC tries to lock down a Tinder hookup:

I've found your insights and commentaries on so many issues so illuminating that I'm writing you for your opinion on what to do in this situation. I've suffered from massive beta backslide and I feel like I did when I was in my early 20s (I'm 33 now).

I hope you get a chance to read this and give me your very valuable to me 2 cents on how to take care of this situation... or end it in a nuclear way:

Met X on Tuesday in October through Tinder. Met briefly for 1 drink... there was a lot of chemistry so we set up a date for Friday... then she went to a concert and I went to bang a chick I hook up with every once in a while.

Friday I pick X up, take her to two places, heavy kissing, then I suggest going back to her place. We get naked on her bed and she tells me to stop and kicks me out of her place at the last second.

Saturday we meet briefly at a cook off by my place. She's with a girlfriend of hers and her friend says that I'm a great guy, etc... Then X leaves to a housewarming party, I'm not invited. I go home.

Sunday morning we had brunch and then sex at my place and then hung out all day at festivals.

This went on fine for a few days until one time I saw that she kept getting calls and messages from other Tinder guys and other regular text messages. I told her I had zero tolerance for other people contacting her with romantic intentions and she said that we were never clear about being exclusive. She said let's continue seeing each other so I made it a point to spend every mutually free moment together... even going to the gym together. My plan was to make her dependent on my presence so that when I travel (and I travel a lot) she would miss me and not fool around or accept any advances.

Well, I'm traveling now have been away for a week. I get back in 6 days (NOV 30). At one point, she had given me her work computer sign-in password, which lo and behold turned out to be her gmail password.

Well, my morbid curiosity took hold and I went through her emails and search history. Nothing out of the ordinary, except last night I saw that she emailed herself from her phone a picture of a guy. I immediately emailed her telling her that I was in the beach and that there was a only a crappy internet cafe there and that I missed her and all that beta shit and that I had the computer for an hour and I'd come back to check to see if she'd written. After 45 mins she wrote me... then sent that guy his own picture... then she wrote me a little more.

This morning, I check her email and she had made a folder with his name and my emails are gone.

Obviously, I have to break up with her. What kills me is that she has 5 days to finish it with me first. We are supposed to go to a party the same day I land. Obviously that's not going to happen.

What's the best way to finish all of this?

This is a girl that works in my industry, which I'm also in. I don't exactly want her as an enemy and I can't write off any bitterness to a break up because not many people knew we were dating.

I was planning on not writing her until I hear back from her, obviously. But once I get back to CITY Y, I wanted to show up to her place and tell her that I felt that she didn't miss me as much as she claims to miss me and that quite frankly I didn't miss her as much as I thought I would. But I want to do something that stings... I'd like to tell her that I saw us being together for a long time or something, since I know she wants to sooner or later. As a matter of fact, I always came inside her, but she always went for the Plan B morning after pill, so I don't know if she was that interested in keeping me around through those means.

Can you give me some advice about this?

Yes. Stop being such a bloody Delta and start being honest with yourself. You were on Tinder to find sluts. You found one. You nailed her. Now you're all butt-hurt because she's still a slut and she's doing what sluts do, which is look for her next sexual fix.

This is a simple case of category error. Sluts are for sex. They are riding the carousel and they don't want to get off. They're sex toys, they're not real girls, from the relationship perspective.

It's apparent that Y has a higher SMV than RC does, which is why RC wants to turn Pinochiette into a real girl and she has no intention of letting him do so. This is a big mistake and a modified form of oneitis. It's also why so many men marry the wrong woman; they don't propose because they are in love or due to mutual compatibility, but because they think she is the hottest woman they will ever get.

If you feel the need to spy on a woman or make her dependent upon your presence so that she won't cheat on you, then she's not a woman you should consider for a relationship. The urge to spy is your subconscious telling you that she can't be trusted. If she doesn't behave in a way that permits you to continue the relationship without spying, you should either next her or maintain a non-exclusive status.

In this case, the best thing for RC to do is to simply stop communicating with her and move on. If she comes sniffing around wondering why he's not paying the expected attention to her, he should just tell her he heard she was involved with another guy now and he's not interested in her anymore. He should not, under any circumstances, tell her that he was logging into her email account. He should let her hamster spin with regards to how he knows.

And if RC wants a serious and committed relationship, he needs to rethink his current approach to women. If one wants quality food, one goes to a decent restaurant, not the bowling alley. So, if RC wants a wife, or even just a proper girlfriend, how does it make any sense for him to go looking for one on Tinder?

Feminists are two-legged ferrets

This explains so much, SO MUCH, feminist lunacy:

Yes, female ferrets will develop a minor medical issue if they have been waiting for a mate for too long: It's called "death." More specifically, the thing that kills them is a fatal state of too much horniness. Unlike human females, with their fancy and confusing system of spontaneous ovulation (which has the negative effect of making them not constantly fertile and infuriating iguanas), ferrets have induced ovulation, meaning that they will remain in heat until they have sex.

Unfortunately, the hormones that flood their body during heat are toxic and will sooner or later kill them if a guy ferret doesn't come along and end their torment with a good dicking....

So, perhaps we in the Game community should be a just little more tolerant when the Jezzies and other hormone-addled feminists waddle over and bray nonsensical spittle at us. It's not entirely their fault that they're hopelessly illogical and deeply unpleasant, they're simply hormone-poisoned from their inability to attract men capable of giving them what they are desperately craving.

It is science. And we all know that you can't argue with science.

Alpha Mail: time management

Martel asks how he can more effectively manage his time:

I'm a regular reader of both Vox Populi and Alpha Game.  Although I don't always agree with you, I can't help but be impressed by how much knowledge you manage to acquire, how much you write, and all the other stuff you do with your life.

I therefore suspect that you're a master of time management.  Do you have any suggestions as on how one should maximize one's time?  Is there an underlying frame through which you view time that helps you maintain such consistent output, or are there any specific techniques you use? Any help would be much appreciated.

I wouldn't call myself a master of time management. I'm lazy, I procrastinate, and I am appallingly bad about keeping to the schedules I set myself. That being said, I do always find the time to get the important things done and I seldom have any trouble popping up a blog post or two.  But to the extent I can offer any advice, it is as follows:

1. Become a creature of habit.  It's much easier to get things done when you do them on auto-pilot.
2. Set ambitious schedules. Even if you don't keep to them, you'll get a lot farther than you will if you don't try.
3. Keep the television watching to a minimum. One hour per day, tops.
4. Avoid getting sucked into pointless internet debates. Make your case, succinctly, and then learn to let it go. You don't need to have the last word; people are perfectly capable of discerning who is an idiot and who is not without your help.
5. Avoid unnecessary socializing. This sucks up as much or more time than most time-wasters. One is seldom genuinely obliged to do as many things as most people seem to feel the need to do. Your best friend's wedding is an obligation. The funeral of your mother's cousin you never met, not so much.
6. Don't fight yourself. When you're tired, go to bed. If you're not feeling motivated to do X, do Y instead. It's the MJ approach. If your shot isn't falling, then play defense and take the other team's scorer out of the game. Just don't bench yourself in front of the TV.
7. Always read everywhere. I actually spend very little time "reading" anymore, in the sense of sitting down with a book. But I read at the gym, when waiting in lines, when waiting while running errands, and on the train. There is usually a book's worth of waiting time per week, so why not use it? There is no excuse not to with all the excellent ereaders on smartphones out there.
8. Read one serious book for every two pieces of mind-candy.
9. Go to bed later/get up earlier than everyone else. People are the ultimate distraction. The more alone time you have, the more you can get done.
10. Focus on the important. The urgent will disappear soon on its own.

I don't know if those things will work for Martel or anyone else, but they seem to work for me.

Accomplishment and attraction

Keep this in mind the next time a woman is attempting to sell you on the myth of female strength of mind:

Rebecca had to be comforted by her fellow female contestants after the sight of Amy Willerton in a bikini became too much for her to bear on Thursday night's episode and she later broke down in tears.

She admitted: 'It's making me very, very insecure that I have to look [a certain way]. For me, I was an athlete.

'I wasn’t trying to be a model, but pretty much every single week on Twitter I get somebody commenting on the way I look.’

This is not a silly, weak-minded girl talking. This is a world record holder, a two-time Olympic gold medalist, and a woman who is lionized in her country.  And yet, she is repeatedly reduced to tears by the mere sight of a prettier woman with a better body in a bikini. And it's not even an exceptionally attractive woman or a model, merely a small-time British wannabe with good hair.

 One look says it all.

The fact is that women care more about their sexual appeal than their accomplishments. Far more. Why? Because their primary objective is to attract the highest-quality man and sane women understand that their accomplishments tend to be tertiary factors, at most, in this regard.

Which, of course, is one reason why the Game approach to them is the most effective one.  A female writer adds:

"[T]he not always palatable truth is that women feel immensely competitive with one another on a purely superficial level. Call it genetics, call it plain old jealousy, but which one of us hasn’t lost weight and had a makeover and swept into a roomful of frenemies – ta-dah! – to be met with a studied air of indifference? And which one of us hasn’t felt a touch of the green-eyed monsters about a colleague’s thick glossy hair, or a friend’s endless legs and radiant complexion?" 

Women care about male accomplishments and female appearance. That's the simple reality. You can accept it or you can cry about it, but the one thing you aren't going to do is change it.