Saturday, April 30, 2011
Forever Alpha
Friday, April 29, 2011
Hypergamy in education
The intermediate term consequences of this devotion to educational hypergamy should be interesting, considering that women now make up nearly 60 percent of college graduates:
For many, a 4-year college after high school is simply a given. They don't live in a world where there are other options. For many, it would have been hard to imagine dating a man without a graduate level education, let alone a Bachelor's. It isn't to say people with more education are "better," but as far as raising children is concerned, for some, education is as important to me as religion is to many. For them, marrying a man who thinks it's OK to not go to school would be akin to being a devout Christian married to an Orthodox Jew. It wouldn't work.In other words, women with less education will be much more likely to find men and breed. This is one of several reasons female education is negatively correlated with reproductive fitness. But the attitude is understandable. After all, what could be more appealing to women than a 30 year-old Starbucks barrista with a useless PhD. It's always interesting to see when social signifiers fail to keep pace with reality.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
A Defender of the Girl Tree
Last week the girl I have been pursuing decided to no longer see me. I found this out through a friend of mine that she confides in. Because she comes from the same religion as I, she tries to have high standards and was feeling guilty about our date (making-out is frowned upon). She contacted my friend, who gave her advice that, while it did not directly involve me, resulted in her decision to stop seeing me.
A day after their discussion he contacted me to tell me to stay away from his friends, particularly young and impressionable girls who are trying to live a life with standards. Out of respect my friend I contacted the girl to indicate that we should talk and perhaps break things off. At this point I did not know that she had already decided to end it. Other than a text indicating that she would no longer see me, I have not heard from her. While I am unhappy that the relationship is over, almost before it had even begun, what bothers me the most is that I was not given the chance to save the relationship in a way that would have also preserved my friend's need for standards with girls he considers his friends. It appears that I do not have the respect from my friend that I thought I did, something I would have liked to remedy had I been given the chance.
I suppose it was my own fault for pursuing a girl who I knew might feel guilty about the whole thing. I can also see how my friend may have felt that I had not conducted myself appropriately, considering he told her I was a good guy before all this happened (something I did not know about). Regardless I feel blindsided by the whole thing, and somewhat hurt. I do not know yet what will happen to our friendship but this whole mess reveals a significant difference in how we see each other.
One thing is for sure I am not going to act like a desperate omega and pursue this girl further. I am seriously pissed about the whole thing but if I can do it once I can do it again, and there are always more girls on the girl tree.
EDIT: I did tell him about the date before he had his discussion with the girl, so he knew what was making her feel guilty.
Monday, April 25, 2011
The Danger of White Knighting
It is never a good idea to decide to play white knight on behalf of another man's woman:
A pair of lovebirds facing life as jailbirds were arraigned Sunday on charges they capped a boozy date by stomping a would-be good Samaritan to death in the street. Quintin Guerrero, 61, was killed when he rushed to aid one of his accused attackers, Tosheba Alford, 20, after she jumped out of a moving cab in front of his Bronx house to escape a beating from her boyfriend, Alford's mother, Queen Smith, said.As I have written on several previous occasions, unless you are prepared to interfere by immediately utilizing lethal force, you would be wise to stay completely out of a physical encounter between a man and a woman who are romantically involved. It is not at all uncommon for the woman to turn and attack the man who thinks he is coming to her defense.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Confidence, standards, and giving advice to ALPHAs
With success comes more confidence in the concepts of game. Before I had any success I was somewhat embarrassed to discuss what I had read; I felt somewhat pathetic. Now, I can discuss and defend what I know with a degree of confidence that I am not familiar with. Perhaps the confidence comes from an increase in testosterone, or because I have seen game in action and know that it works, most likely both. Regardless, I have had some valuable discussions with various people since then.
The first was with my younger brother. In a strange quirk of genetics I have four brothers, three who could reasonably be described as lesser ALPHAs (one was recently offered a threesome by two very hot girls). So I was surprised and somewhat pleased when one of them (not Mr. Threesome) opened up to me regarding his long-term relationship with his girlfriend.
He confided that he has problems with feeling treated like a little boy in the relationship; that she frequently acts like his mother. He also confided that ever since he cheated on her the relationship has been even worse. I explained the theory behind shit-tests and how it applied to his relationship. I told him that she was acting the way she was because he was not acting in a way that made her feel safe and stable. Cheating only made it worse because it made her feel even more unstable. I gave him some examples, and told him that if he could begin passing her tests the relationship would improve. It took a number of restatements before it really sunk in, but it was not hard to tell when it happened. When it finally clicked he let loose with a long string of swear words, most directed at himself for being so stupid. Later that evening I introduced him to some of the better posts about shit-tests and asked him to let me know the results. I am still waiting but I expect a good report next time I see him. I have hope for his relationship.
I had another conversation about the same subject with one of my roommates. I few weeks previous I introduced him to some of the same posts on shit-testing. His response was not nearly so positive. After my date the subject came up again and he said that he disagreed with the idea. I asked him to be more specific. He said that he felt that acting the way the posts recommended was demeaning. I proceeded to defend and clarify the concept. I argued that it could be used that way and that some people did use it that way, but how it was used did not change the fact that the theory was accurate. I realized that his resistance to the idea came from the fact that he felt that it was wrong because of the way it was portrayed. With some discussion I was able to convince him that the theory was correct and at that point he began to apply it to his own relationships describing his previous girlfriend and their problems. This was a rather surreal experience for me as he is also an ALPHA. He has never had problems attracting women, and I was pleased that he took my point of view seriously once I presented it in a palatable manner.
The turning point in the discussion was when I explained that moral standards are not in themselves attractive, but, when an ALPHA has them they can become attractive. In the hands of an ALPHA they can become a set of standards that can apply to the women he chooses. Since he is already attractive, having those standards and more importantly ruthlessly applying them can become a turn on for the woman. If he has the moral strength to apply those standards in the face of temptation he is displaying that he is strong enough to control himself. The woman finds that the value of her currency in the relationship, sex appeal, is reduced, and his currency in the relationship, stability, is increased and his moral standards become a DHV. When he made the connection he went quiet (a major achievement, he is a very loud person), and the discussion was over. He seemed affected by the realization and I hope that the ideas I presented will help him, but that remains to be seen.
My goal in learning game was to attract women, but I appears that it has a far broader effect than I expected. My small successes have given me a great deal of confidence in many areas, not just approaching women. I suspect that what I am doing will completely change my life, the only mistake now would be to stop.
The first was with my younger brother. In a strange quirk of genetics I have four brothers, three who could reasonably be described as lesser ALPHAs (one was recently offered a threesome by two very hot girls). So I was surprised and somewhat pleased when one of them (not Mr. Threesome) opened up to me regarding his long-term relationship with his girlfriend.
He confided that he has problems with feeling treated like a little boy in the relationship; that she frequently acts like his mother. He also confided that ever since he cheated on her the relationship has been even worse. I explained the theory behind shit-tests and how it applied to his relationship. I told him that she was acting the way she was because he was not acting in a way that made her feel safe and stable. Cheating only made it worse because it made her feel even more unstable. I gave him some examples, and told him that if he could begin passing her tests the relationship would improve. It took a number of restatements before it really sunk in, but it was not hard to tell when it happened. When it finally clicked he let loose with a long string of swear words, most directed at himself for being so stupid. Later that evening I introduced him to some of the better posts about shit-tests and asked him to let me know the results. I am still waiting but I expect a good report next time I see him. I have hope for his relationship.
I had another conversation about the same subject with one of my roommates. I few weeks previous I introduced him to some of the same posts on shit-testing. His response was not nearly so positive. After my date the subject came up again and he said that he disagreed with the idea. I asked him to be more specific. He said that he felt that acting the way the posts recommended was demeaning. I proceeded to defend and clarify the concept. I argued that it could be used that way and that some people did use it that way, but how it was used did not change the fact that the theory was accurate. I realized that his resistance to the idea came from the fact that he felt that it was wrong because of the way it was portrayed. With some discussion I was able to convince him that the theory was correct and at that point he began to apply it to his own relationships describing his previous girlfriend and their problems. This was a rather surreal experience for me as he is also an ALPHA. He has never had problems attracting women, and I was pleased that he took my point of view seriously once I presented it in a palatable manner.
The turning point in the discussion was when I explained that moral standards are not in themselves attractive, but, when an ALPHA has them they can become attractive. In the hands of an ALPHA they can become a set of standards that can apply to the women he chooses. Since he is already attractive, having those standards and more importantly ruthlessly applying them can become a turn on for the woman. If he has the moral strength to apply those standards in the face of temptation he is displaying that he is strong enough to control himself. The woman finds that the value of her currency in the relationship, sex appeal, is reduced, and his currency in the relationship, stability, is increased and his moral standards become a DHV. When he made the connection he went quiet (a major achievement, he is a very loud person), and the discussion was over. He seemed affected by the realization and I hope that the ideas I presented will help him, but that remains to be seen.
My goal in learning game was to attract women, but I appears that it has a far broader effect than I expected. My small successes have given me a great deal of confidence in many areas, not just approaching women. I suspect that what I am doing will completely change my life, the only mistake now would be to stop.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Review: The Married Man Sex Life Primer
The Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011
by Athol Kay
CreateSpace (344 pages, $14.99/9.99 ebook, April 2011)
The Married Man Sex Life Primer is, without a doubt, one of the more eye-opening and alarmingly informative books one is ever likely to read. Athol Kay is one of the foremost theoreticians of practical Game, with a particular focus on its application to married life. His background as a male nurse is significant, not only in relation to his highly developed ability to communicate with women, but in his frighteningly clinical ability to write more freely about bodily fluids and body parts than anyone since Galen or possibly the Marquis de Sade.
And if ever a book should come with a warning label, it is this one. Kay has arguably been remiss in not attaching a large sticker shrieking TMI in bright red letters. I, for one, am not entirely certain I could bear to face either Kay or his superlatively obliging wife, Jennifer, should I ever encounter either of them. On the other hand, it is eminently clear that the man is clearly doing something very right indeed.
The most significant aspect of Married Man Sex Life is the way it focuses on what married men can actually do to improve their marital sex lives as opposed to waiting for things that their wives should - but probably will not - do. Kay's thinking is based on the combination of a basic logical conclusion, (the only actions that will reliably be performed are those which can be performed by the change-seeking actor) with an important observation, (women like to follow their husband's lead).
Kay views things through the conventional Game perspective of Sex Rank, in which individuals are rated from one to ten with regards to their sexual appeal to the opposite sex. Given the observed human behavior which indicates that both men and women regularly desire sex with those of a higher sex rank, Kay concludes that the primary non-medical reason for a lack of sex within a marriage is a relative decline in sex rank on the part of the husband. His solution is both logical and straightforward. To improve your sex life, improve your sex rank. Much of the book is dedicated to various practical, tactical measures of doing precisely that. Kay doesn't merely tell the reader he will have to become a better, more desirable man, he provides him with some detailed instructions for doing so.
Kay freely confesses that he is neither a pick-up artist nor an ALPHA with a encyclopedic history of sexual conquests, he is by nature a BETA. But counterintuitively, it is precisely this that makes his book so valuable, first because his ALPHA behaviors are learned and therefore articulated, second because he has a much more sophisticated and nuanced approach to dealing with sexual disappointment and/or rejection than the ALPHA's instinctive resort of moving immediately on to another woman.
The Married Man Sex Life Primer is realistic. It doesn't promise miracles and it is forthright about the possibility that even a man who follows Kay's advice and improves his Sex Rank will still not be able to interest his wife in improving their marriage. He can be brutally explicit about the possible consequences of a man's long-term failure to improve himself and is not gentle to either sex with regards to their common failure to meet the opposite sex's marital needs.
Text Sample: Men who are highly attractive have firsthand knowledge that women are definitely not the moral angels that they may like to present themselves as. The good girl image is nothing more than the social equivalent of the biological concealed ovulation strategy which was covered in the Body Agenda chapter. Women very much like sex with men they find attractive and can be exceptionally devious and insistent on getting it.
It is extremely politically incorrect to say so, but all women have a component of slut in their makeup. The trick is not to fear it, seek to sanction it, or flee it, but to adapt to the presence of the slut in your woman and harness it for your mutual enjoyment. But if you don’t pay her active attention to account for her slut influence, you might find that it gets up to all sorts of mischief.
The Married Man Sex Life Primer isn't merely for those who languish in miserable marriages, or even for men who are already married. As Kay states with regards to the purpose of his book, it is for both men and women who wish to improve what is, after all, the core bedrock of every marriage. I highly recommend it, albeit with the requisite warning that it is sufficiently explicit to make Japanese tentacle porn look conservative.
by Athol KayCreateSpace (344 pages, $14.99/9.99 ebook, April 2011)
The Married Man Sex Life Primer is, without a doubt, one of the more eye-opening and alarmingly informative books one is ever likely to read. Athol Kay is one of the foremost theoreticians of practical Game, with a particular focus on its application to married life. His background as a male nurse is significant, not only in relation to his highly developed ability to communicate with women, but in his frighteningly clinical ability to write more freely about bodily fluids and body parts than anyone since Galen or possibly the Marquis de Sade.
And if ever a book should come with a warning label, it is this one. Kay has arguably been remiss in not attaching a large sticker shrieking TMI in bright red letters. I, for one, am not entirely certain I could bear to face either Kay or his superlatively obliging wife, Jennifer, should I ever encounter either of them. On the other hand, it is eminently clear that the man is clearly doing something very right indeed.
The most significant aspect of Married Man Sex Life is the way it focuses on what married men can actually do to improve their marital sex lives as opposed to waiting for things that their wives should - but probably will not - do. Kay's thinking is based on the combination of a basic logical conclusion, (the only actions that will reliably be performed are those which can be performed by the change-seeking actor) with an important observation, (women like to follow their husband's lead).
Kay views things through the conventional Game perspective of Sex Rank, in which individuals are rated from one to ten with regards to their sexual appeal to the opposite sex. Given the observed human behavior which indicates that both men and women regularly desire sex with those of a higher sex rank, Kay concludes that the primary non-medical reason for a lack of sex within a marriage is a relative decline in sex rank on the part of the husband. His solution is both logical and straightforward. To improve your sex life, improve your sex rank. Much of the book is dedicated to various practical, tactical measures of doing precisely that. Kay doesn't merely tell the reader he will have to become a better, more desirable man, he provides him with some detailed instructions for doing so.
Kay freely confesses that he is neither a pick-up artist nor an ALPHA with a encyclopedic history of sexual conquests, he is by nature a BETA. But counterintuitively, it is precisely this that makes his book so valuable, first because his ALPHA behaviors are learned and therefore articulated, second because he has a much more sophisticated and nuanced approach to dealing with sexual disappointment and/or rejection than the ALPHA's instinctive resort of moving immediately on to another woman.
The Married Man Sex Life Primer is realistic. It doesn't promise miracles and it is forthright about the possibility that even a man who follows Kay's advice and improves his Sex Rank will still not be able to interest his wife in improving their marriage. He can be brutally explicit about the possible consequences of a man's long-term failure to improve himself and is not gentle to either sex with regards to their common failure to meet the opposite sex's marital needs.
Text Sample: Men who are highly attractive have firsthand knowledge that women are definitely not the moral angels that they may like to present themselves as. The good girl image is nothing more than the social equivalent of the biological concealed ovulation strategy which was covered in the Body Agenda chapter. Women very much like sex with men they find attractive and can be exceptionally devious and insistent on getting it.
It is extremely politically incorrect to say so, but all women have a component of slut in their makeup. The trick is not to fear it, seek to sanction it, or flee it, but to adapt to the presence of the slut in your woman and harness it for your mutual enjoyment. But if you don’t pay her active attention to account for her slut influence, you might find that it gets up to all sorts of mischief.
The Married Man Sex Life Primer isn't merely for those who languish in miserable marriages, or even for men who are already married. As Kay states with regards to the purpose of his book, it is for both men and women who wish to improve what is, after all, the core bedrock of every marriage. I highly recommend it, albeit with the requisite warning that it is sufficiently explicit to make Japanese tentacle porn look conservative.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Shocker! Slutty Behavior is Ineffective in Preventing Rape
This isn't a post related to Game, but for anyone interested in the question of the effect of female promiscuity on the sociosexual environment (and it is profound), I'm tackling the sex-positive feminist camp on this issue over at Hooking Up Smart. (Link here.)
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