It’s common knowledge that roughly half of marriages today end in divorce. This is up significantly from the 1960s, when about 30 percent of marriages ended in divorce within 15 years. The underlying social and economic changes that have spurred this increase remain a bit of a mystery. But the topic was taken up in a massive 2016 study conducted by Harvard sociology professor Alexandra Killewald.One of the best ways for a passive-aggressive man to get his wife to leave him is to simply stop working. Stop paying her bills and most women will decide the grass is greener, or at least more profitable, within a year or two. It will reduce any alimony too.
“A core unresolved question is how trends in marital stability relate to changing family and economic circumstances. Have wives’ greater earnings power and work experience increased divorce by reducing the costs of exiting bad marriages? Are strained household finances associated with heightened risk of divorce? Or do spouses’ work and earnings patterns alter marital stability by conveying signals about whether each partner is fulfilling the implicit, symbolic, gendered terms of the marital contract?”
Killewald analyzed three different theories (or “perspectives”) on divorce: the financial strain perspective, the economic independence perspective, and the gendered institution perspective.
Surprisingly, no support was found for the economic independence or financial strain perspectives, theories that suggest marriages are more likely to end when the cost of divorce is low or limited financial resources lead to family stress.
Killewald did find support for the gendered institution perspective.
“…the strongest evidence for the gendered institution perspective is that, for marriages begun in 1975 or later, divorce is more likely when husbands are not employed full-time. Consistent with my hypotheses, there is no evidence that this association is weaker for later than earlier marriage cohorts. Just as male breadwinning has remained important for marriage formation (Sweeney 2002), the results here demonstrate its enduring importance for marital stability. The results are consistent with claims that bread-winning remains a central component of the marital contract for husbands (Nock 1998).”
Monday, June 26, 2017
The myth of gender equality
Feminists may talk up equality, but the fact is that women don't want anything to do with it in marriage.
12 comments:
And use the time not working to research other, more lucrative career paths so that, post divorce settlement you are on your way to out-earning your previous high water mark. This is the most anti-fragile of all divorce strategies and not for the weak-willed.
As a construction worker with an interest in preserving my marriage, I figured out long ago that the inevitable unemployed layoff time was corrosive to my wife's respect, even when she knows intellectually speaking that it can't be helped. There's the financial aspect, but more than that, just seeing each other every day during the day starts to create problems and "breeds disrespect". I developed a whole system of activities to take me out of the house, which gives me the regular opportunity to have the following beneficial conversation: "What are you up to today, honey?" "That's not your concern. What are YOU up to?"
All the more reason to encourage most women to stay at home and manage the household when times are good.
"That's not your concern. What are YOU up to?"
Keeper.
"What are you up to today, honey?" "That's not your concern. What are YOU up to?"
Or, ``Here's what I'm doing, here's how you will help.''
She's your help meet. Let her help with your projects, on your terms.
...the strongest evidence for the gendered institution perspective is that, for marriages begun in 1975 or later, divorce is more likely when husbands are not employed full-time.
As a husband, getting yourself unemployed is the point at which the typical western "wife" will reveal her true colors, which will show that she is anything but a help meet or pillar of support in trying times. In fact, she will become your biggest and most insufferable burden.
I thank God every day that my ex and I had finalized our divorce before I suffered a six-month unemployment spell. Life out on the streets, alone, exposed to the elements, existing hand to mouth, and facing the condescension and hostiliy of strangers for all of those months would have been more bearable than even one idle day under the same roof with her.
If you become unemployed not only is it unlikely your wife will be any help she will almost certainly make your life harder at every step. She'll pick fights, cut you down and passive aggressively sabotage your every effort. Even when you get work her behavior won't improve.I remember when I lost my job and after a lot of pounding the pavement got another when I came home in the new company uniform the first words out of my then wife's mouth was an insult.
A lot of it hinges on the woman. Some handle their man's unemployment really well...and some don’t.
Ive gotten laid off twice in my life. With my first wife...she handled it ok. But when the business I started hit some rocky waters ( 2008-2009), things really began to unravel for us.
My current wife has been great. I got laid off four years ago. My business on the side saved us from financial ruin. However, there has been no doubt , until the last year, it has been financially tough for us. She has had a few moments of complaining..but on the whole has handled this" rough road” ..really well. It helps that she values the simple things in life and is not materialistic. It also helps that there is no complaining or signs of weakness on my part. Exuding strength and confidence is important for the man to do. It will give her the trust to believe/follow you . Hypergamy is real..but some women tend to do a better job of keeping it in check.
I've seen this to be true with my own marriage as well. I have yet to make real money, so I don't know what the other side is like, but my bread-winning wife is willing to suffer financial ruin to force me into being the bread-winner. Now, I wouldn't mind that, if it were possible for me to do so, and it will take time for me to build up my business, but the lesson is true colors definitely come out.
If unemployed lowlives such as criminals, drug dealers, and black men can get laid, and even have their women enthusiastically support them and bear their children, I don't see why a husband who's going through a rough patch can't.
This is probably why men are "intimidated" by "smart, ambitious women."
The men are wise enough to save themselves from being put into a position where the woman will consider him as inferior and lose attraction to him.
@VFM #7634
The secret is they don't stick around and support them.
http://shriverreport.org/what-about-the-fathers-kathryn-edin/
These baby daddies all got dumped for being broke.
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