Wednesday, June 7, 2017

The invisibility switch

A post-wall woman laments the absence of previously unwanted male attention in her life:
Like so many girls of my generation, I took myself far too seriously and was quick to mistake kindness or generosity for sexism. I would never let a man pay for dinner (or I would never admit to it, at any rate) and I wore ugly shoes I could walk in, rather than have to accept a lift home in high heels. As for winking, thigh-patting and the occasional wolf-whistle — woe betide the man who dared.

Now, aged 50, I realise how silly I was to get so wound up about such things. If I had my time again, I would accept those gestures for what they are: crude but flattering demonstrations of male admiration. And I would appreciate them all the more as I know how much I miss them now they’re gone.

Nowadays, I’d be positively overjoyed by the attention. To today’s right-on students, these must sound like the demented ramblings of a Fifties housewife. But until you’ve experienced the invisibility switch for yourself, you really have no idea what it feels like.

Trust me, there is only one thing worse than attracting unwanted attention, and that’s attracting no attention at all. Even the most impeccably turned-out women find that, after a certain age, you practically have to send up a flare to get served at a busy bar.
PJ O'Rourke nailed it when he described "the lonely Hell of the formerly cute". Female beauty is ephemeral, which is why it must be appreciated while it lasts.

37 comments:

Dexter said...

Like all women, she wants to fine tune the male admiration so that it only comes from desirable alpha males, and never from despicable betas.

IrishFarmer said...

The paradoxes of life. It's a bit like how many men won't ever have the time AND money to live out their dreams until they're too old to really make the most of it. iow: time, money, youth - pick two.

mike mike said...

Over 50? LOL! She looks more like over 60 at least.

de ti said...

It's long been said that women over 50 who don't keep their appearances eventually live the lives of the average man between ages 16 to 30.

--sexual invisibility

--the necessity to put in effort to get dates and sex. Poor dears - now they have to work at it

--increased failure and rejection rates

--being used for sex (as young men are used for whatever resources they have)

I suppose some might say it's a revenge fantasy. It isn't; it's simple observation.

Robert said...

How did these women miss the basic human concept of kindness and crediting that others are decent until proven otherwise?
What goes around comes around - with a vengeance!

Revelation Means Hope said...

Ah, it never gets old to see the high and proud brought low and humble. Not that she is humble. I don't think that is possible for her. She still manages to humble-brag.

It is rare indeed for a man to take his experiences at being brought down and using it to add value to the world, such as King Solomon who wrote Proverbs on his way up, and Ecclesiastes on his way down. I haven't been able to think of a female example, however.

TarzanWannaBe said...

IOW, she now receives attention like a man. ;- )

Mr.MantraMan said...

Mr. Bigglesworth will give her attention as he rubs up against her leg at dinner time, meow

Polynices said...

She's not invisible because she's 50, she's invisible because she's fat and ugly. Looking like that at 25 would make her just as invisible. Not that getting old doesn't do what you say but she's the typical terrible example the press comes up with.

Russ said...

A post-wall, female friend made a similar observation to me twenty years ago, except that she also included invisibility even to other women. And a Ukrainian girl a few years before that said that for girls life is over at 26.

Dirk Manly said...

It's all poetic justice for failing to appreciate the gifts she had.

ThirdMonkey said...

Her inability to transition from the attention of young men to the admiration of a husband, children, and grandchildren is testament that feminism is cancer. She is invisible by her own choice, and deserves to be in the lonely Hell of the formerly cute.

Purge187 said...

Even one of the most prominent misandrists of the herd admits that she'd miss male attention:

http://dailycaller.com/2015/07/20/feminist-admits-she-misses-catcalls-blames-society/

Wyndie said...

My post-menopausal 50's wife is losing weight and has started getting male attention again, which surprised her. I told her that was great and I was proud of her. She has long dark hair and is stacked which helps immensely.

Aeoli Pera said...

Female beauty is ephemeral, which is why it must be appreciated while it lasts.

Appreciation is the inverse of narcissism.

dvdivx said...

What I want to know is why the age of street harassment is never studied like its the subject no one wants to even know about. Academics avoid the issue like its radioactive.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3249ff/women_of_reddit_when_did_you_first_notice_that/
That was a big post on reddit with many women saying the were getting cat called at 11 or 12. Is it that it will point out that women aren't harassed or raped out of power but for sexual reasons? Is it because the people doing the call calls are minorities that can't be named? Is it because men would rather look at a 12 year old than a 40 year old and even men don't want that investigated?
At the very least you would think someone would get grants to "protect the children" but no literally nothing. Like the subject does not exist and so shall not be discussed.
Same data on rape crimes is available (except oddly US data) that the peak age for rape is 14 with 11-22 being peak ages with large drop offs at 24 and 10. Its like the subject that shall not be named.

Darwinian Arminian said...

Trust me, there is only one thing worse than attracting unwanted attention, and that’s attracting no attention at all. Even the most impeccably turned-out women find that, after a certain age, you practically have to send up a flare to get served at a busy bar.

Tear in my eye; Now she has to live in the same reality that 98.65% of all men are stuck with as a matter of course. Feminists may promise women "equality," but time and old age guarantee that they will receive it, good and hard.

Midnight Avenue J said...

A married friend of mine remarked that she couldn't imagine dating at this age/stage. She's 36 and married to her one and only, the high school sweetheart. They still look at each other like the teens they were when they fell in love. Beautiful.

She knows the worth of that relationship and cherishes it. Another mutual friend (a man) recently divorced and began dating again. He has a much wider range of options than his ex-wife.

This isn't rocket science, all you need do is look around you, examples abound.

Pride does indeed goeth before a fall. Those proud boobs in the hot babe pic of the articles subject...oh and yeah, agreed, she got fat which has a lot to do with attractiveness regardless of age.

Tatooine Sharpshooters' Club said...

Are we supposed to feel something? I don't even feel schadenfreude, because this is just a regurgitation of the bleedin' obvious.

The final two paragraphs are a hoot, though:

"The worst part of it, though, is that, if anything, you feel happier and more comfortable in your skin than ever before"

So she's happy and comfortable being lonely and visible? If so, what's the point of this story?

"That is the awful irony. Young women have it all, but don’t know it; older women know it all, but no longer have it. Somewhere in between, there’s a golden moment when it all comes together. But blink and you’ll miss it."

I realize that's little more than a pile of cliches intended to give assurance ("older women know it all"), she still really wants to believe it's not her fault ("blink and you'll miss it").

My nominee for White Knight of the Year goes to Lazlo Toth1, of the Mail comments:

"I never wolf whistled. But when I was younger, I found older women who took care of themselves to be insanely alluring - even more appealing than women my age, because the older women had the mystique of experience and wisdom. Of course, at that age I kept that to myself. I'm 61 now and I still find that about women in my age group and am not particularly attracted to women under 50 or 55 - women older than that still have the same mystique and allure, and the comfort we all have with ourselves adds to the eroticism when we let it."

Timmy3 said...

Today's women don't cash their looks. They pass it around to the lowest bidders. Then the price keeps dropping. So took her to 50 to see the light? Many women don't have a chance upon 30.

Dedd Sirius said...

It's an amazing thing when a woman stays beautiful past her youth. Younger women in my experience ruin their physical beauty with their terrible personalities, and when an older woman is still hot, and has a cool and flirty personality, it is really amazing.

Mr.MantraMan said...

They always have rapefugees, see CH

Bob said...

And while some of them are younger, the evils depths they can go to are unbelievable. Good warning for blokes dating crazy bitches:

"Michelle Carter urged her boyfriend to commit suicide so she could play a grieving girlfriend, a US court hears."
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-40181522

Scroll way down in this article and you can find the huge string of texts over WEEKS where she manipulated him into it: http://www.masslive.com/news/index.ssf/2017/06/take_a_look_at_the_text_messag.html

Retrenched said...

Young women think they'll be beautiful forever, just like young men think they'll always be strong.

You can try to warn them otherwise, but they all seem to think they'll be the exception to the rule, that they have no need to prepare for the future.

liberranter said...

I suppose some might say it's a revenge fantasy. It isn't; it's simple observation.

Sure, but it works as revenge fantasy just the same.

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Gospace said...

Also at the Daily Mail Christie Brinkley age 63 http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-4583104/Christie-Brinkley-puts-toned-legs-maximal-display.html
At 13 years older then Sarah Vine, if you saw them both alone in a bar, which one would you go after? I'm thinking the old lady.

Stevenp715 said...

Way back when, on our local TV, they did one of those semi-serious doco/experiments: they got an attractive, early-twenties woman and put her in overalls, tucked her hair up under a cap, made up some bum-fluff on her face and got her to work as a gas station attendant for a day.

Her bubbly, out-going personality evaporated over the course of the day as almost every single customer, male or female, young or old, ignored her attempts at conversation and by the end of the day she was utterly dejected.

At the post-experiment debrief she said it was horrible and she couldn't wait to be a girl again; when you're a guy you're nothing, like a piece of furniture.

Well darlin', some of us have to live our whole lives like that.

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JP said...

You had your fun, now kindly give the other girls a turn on the carousel.

LexSex said...

I don't know about you guys but a female is hottest between 16 and 23. Ok, maybe until 25 but that is stretching it. I can usually tell when a girl is past 24 and I definitely look at her different. I don't know why people say they have until 30. Weird.

liberranter said...

As for winking, thigh-patting and the occasional wolf-whistle — woe betide the man who dared.

Unless this twat lives in a Third World Country (or parts of Southern Europe), there is NO WAY she was ever "wolf-whistled," the last documented instance of which took place in 1972 before the practice was criminalized with penalties more severe than those for assault or rape.

More to the point, no obese, attitudinous, tattooed and pierced she-beast (i.e., the majority of women today) is ever going to be the target of that kind of positive attention signal, even if it was still socially acceptable. Even non-she-beasts exhibit the same attitude, so most men just can't be bothered. "Wolf-whistling" is an ancient behavior that has gone almost extinct, much like feminine behavior in western women.

dc.sunsets said...

It is tragic that many people live in the perpetual now and don't revel in the stage of life they occupy for what will be but brief moments.

It goes by fast. I enjoyed every stage, including the one I am now in, but I wish I had enjoyed each of them twice as much.

Dan Timmons said...

Thanks for the trip down memory lane on PJ O'Rourke's "lonely hell of the formerly cute" remark which was directed at a forlorn Bianca Jagger, the morning after Ortega's electoral loss in Nicaragua(I think).

PJ's other gem that stuck with me: "It's always tempting to impute unlikely virtues to the cute".

Aeoli Pera said...

I wasn't a sadist before I understood people. Now I am a sadist.

Trust me, there is only one thing worse than attracting unwanted attention, and that’s attracting no attention at all.

Cry for me bitch.

Tatooine Sharpshooters' Club said...

@liberranter - To be fair, many sections of most modern Western cities are a Turd World countries, not that any of these puce-coiffed progtards ever venture anywhere near the "bad side of town." Hell, it's difficult enough to imagine them walking, period.

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