Heather Barwick, who was raised by her mother and her mother's lesbian partner, wrote in an essay this week that same-sex "marriage" is not the same as normal marriage between a man and a woman, that the traditional family is best, and that while growing up she "ached every day for a dad."Ironically enough, it appears that her two mothers did a pretty good of raising her. She's married with four children by 31; many two-parent Christian homes can't say as much. But it would be foolish not to heed her words, and her warning.
Heather Barwick, who was raised by her mother and her mother's lesbian partner, says "gay marriage" not only redefines marriage but also parenting and that "as a little girl, I so desperately wanted a daddy."
Barwick, who is 31 now, married, and has four children, said that "same-sex marriage and parenting withholds either a mother or father from a child while telling him or her that it doesn't matter. That it's all the same. But it's not."
"A lot of us, a lot of your kids, are hurting," wrote Barwick in her essay for The Federalist website. "My father's absence created a huge hole in me, and I ached every day for a dad. I loved my mom's partner, but another mom could never have replaced the father I lost."
"I grew up surrounded by women who said they didn’t need or want a man," said Barwick. "Yet, as a little girl, I so desperately wanted a daddy. It is a strange and confusing thing to walk around with this deep-down unquenchable ache for a father, for a man, in a community that says that men are unnecessary."
Monday, March 23, 2015
Little girls need fathers
A woman who was raised by two mothers explains why girls need dads:
41 comments:
I was disappointed at the nastiness heaped upon her by the (kinder and more tolerant) left.
I agree her mothers did a good job raising her. I think we all agree that two lesbians can be excellent mothers and two gay men can be excellent fathers. They just can't be mothers and fathers.
The cries of homophobia are disingenuous.
The irony. A heterosexual girl grows up in a lesbian wonderland of enlightenment and suffers the same sort of shaming and repression that the deviants claim they experienced as a child. So much so that she started her SJW crusade in favor of gay marriage before she looked into her first born's eyes and realized WTF.
Meanwhile, hetero parents can't wait to inject their boys with female hormones because they picked up their sisters doll or played with mommy's makeup one time. They probably feel the dodged a bullet because there are those crazy parents out there that hop their boys up on stimulants and who wants to be like that.
I look forward to the day when upbringing in that form is considered and treated as child abuse. Her lesbian 'mothers' should be in prison.
I am going to thank that man for taking one for the team. She would have to be something special in order for me to have figure out which mom I had to ask for the honor of her daughter's hand.
and you know every time one of those fishes needs a bicycle the son-in-law is the first one they call. Open a jar of lip-wax, fix one of the cars that is making the rrrr-rrrr-rrrr sound.....here's to you, Mr. Guy Who Married The Girl With Two Moms......
I just skimmed the comments but a lot of the attacks are on the father for not wanting to be in her life enough to fight for it. So it wasn't her mother's homosexuality and the fact the mother didn't want him around that deprived her of a father, it was her father that didn't jump through 7,862 legal hoops to get his 2 weeks a year.
Probably the best thing he ever did for his daughter was walk away. It kept the "moms" for spewing toxic venom about him in her ear and forcing her to choose.
@ b1bae96e-6447-11e3-b6bb-000f20980440
From what I gathered, her mom left her father for the other mom.
Now, as a father, I absolutely fault him for absense. Nothing to keep me from at least trying to be with my little girls.
However, whether his presence or absence was his fault, her mother's, or both is beside the point. As a child she ached for a father, and gay marriage not only encourages the absence of the father mother, it says it is okay.
That is what I gathered from this woman, that two mothers were not a replacement for a father. Neither is a welfare check or child support for that matter.
I did bit sense malice towards her mothers, a lack of love or gratitude for them, just a yearning for the father.... which will be encouraged by gay marriage regardless of her father's specific culpability
Did not, not did bit
Typo
It's not just the children of Lesbians that are having this problem.
Generation X was the first generation of men raised pretty much by women.
The result of that was the Gamma Male.
The problems we have had are being squared and cubed for the Millennials. The only reason we aren't moving on to a third generation of men raised by women is that they aren't having them at all, for the moment.
So what comes after the Gamma Male?
The Epsilon Male, of course!
“Nobody in my generation believes they’re going to get a meaningful retirement. We have a third or a quarter of the wealth previous generations had, and everyone’s fleeing to higher education to stave off unemployment and poverty because there are no jobs.
“All that wouldn’t be so bad if we could at least dull the pain with girls. But we’re treated like paedophiles and potential rapists just for showing interest. My generation are the beautiful ones,” he sighs, referring to a 1960s experiment on mice that supposedly predicted a grim future for the human race.
After overpopulation ran out of control, the female mice in John Calhoun’s “mouse universe” experiment stopped breeding, and the male mice withdrew from the company of others entirely, eating, sleeping, feeding and grooming themselves but doing little else. They had shiny coats, but empty lives.
many two-parent Christian homes can't say as much.
It's a shame that so many "Christians" are anti marriage. The kids are going to be interested in, experimenting with and having sex. The Biblical plan is to get them married off to another virgin first and have them spend a life time enjoying the gift we are given. American Christians don't read or obey the first commandment God gave to man, "Be fruitful, and multiply" was God's idea as is the method for getting it done.
She had a father for the first 3 years of her life, which clearly left a lasting impression. Fathers and grandfathers aren't the same of course. But my children miss my wife's father who died a couple years back, while having no such feelings toward my father who died before any of them were born. And I recall a similar thing in my youth where I didn't really put much if any thought into why I only had 1 grandma.
How typical then is her experience relative to the typical child of lesbians. I was under the impression they mostly used sperm donor type situations.
God was looking out for her.
Robert Oscar Lopez (http://englishmanif.blogspot.com/) has been pounding the drum on this topic for several years now. He was raised in this kind of situation (divorce, mother lived with lesbian lover) and has written movingly on the same kinds of pain this woman is expressing. He's rather adamant on the issue, in fact, claiming that it is a human right to be raised by both your mother and father and that homosexual couples are essentially treating their children as props or accessories to their chosen lifestyle.
Followed a link off of Lopez's site to this article about what children of gay parents really think (through an anonymous service to give them a chance to speak their minds.) The author of that blog post nails it with this:
"There is no denying same-sex attracted parents can be great parents, my mother totally rocked. The problem, that I will apparently have to reiterate for time immemorial, is not the gay parent but rather the missing parent."
slarrow, I followed that link to The Anonymous Us Project. A good place to start for anyone considering becoming a parent by using a donor/surrogate.
"I grew up surrounded by women who said they didn’t need or want a man," said Barwick. "Yet, as a little girl, I so desperately wanted a daddy. It is a strange and confusing thing to walk around with this deep-down unquenchable ache for a father, for a man, in a community that says that men are unnecessary."
It is strange and confusing living in a world of selfishness when you are seeking love.
When it comes to frivorces, gay marriage, single mothers, absent fathers, etc....it seems the people most overlooked and the biggest casualties are often the children in these situations.
"her two mothers did a pretty good of raising her"
Ironic or not, you're making the case for gay parenting. That's not what you're trying to do. Now, you're saying Christian parents are not doing a good job. Okay, fine. We're at an impasse.
Sometimes we can't get what we want so we try to get what we want later. Maybe Heather will have kids who later decide to screw up their lives. That will be the ultimate irony.
The Heathers demanded their Woman's Nation, and they got it. However much this Instant Heather missed the dad she never had, she doesn't miss him near as much as the little boys who've been physically tortured over the past half-century, largely because no father or male was present in the household to restrain the psychological fragility (or outright insanity) of females.
And that's just how America wants it, too. Here and everywhere. Ted Cruz and Glenn Beck and Jeb Bush aren't gonna fix that. To say the very least.
Ironic or not, you're making the case for gay parenting. That's not what you're trying to do. Now, you're saying Christian parents are not doing a good job.
He did nothing of the sort. If this makes a case for anything, it's for nature over nurture -- parenting doesn't have as much effect as people think on how kids turn out. The argument against homosexual parents isn't that the children can't survive and become good parents someday; it's that it causes them great suffering no matter how they turn out.
Anyone who seeks Truth will find it. Providing a childhood free of this type of suffering and modeling Truth seeking should be the goal of parents. Many Christian parents provide a two-parent home, but Truth seeking is not a priority to them, nor is teaching their children the same.
I think we all agree that two lesbians can be excellent mothers and two gay men can be excellent fathers.
I don't agree at all.
Barwick is a success as a mother in spite of, not because of, her weirdo lesbian "mothers".
I only knew one girl raised by a lesbian couple (and her dad ran off and went homo too) and she seemed to HATE her parents in every way. It was kind of shocking to observe.
Generation X was the first generation of men raised pretty much by women.
Is this really the case? Both my parents' (Boomers) families seemed to have been woman-ruled, with hands-off dads. Dads working all the time and kids left with women or alone. I don't know how much other extended families might be similar but it's harder to blame my father for his failings raising me & my brothers when he never had much of a raising either.
And when I say blame, I don't mean I hate my dad. The failings make me sad more than anything. If I ever spawn, I would like to enjoy being a father. I just feel like we were seen as burdens. And considering his White Knight idiotic tendencies and how women are, I wouldn't be at all surprised if my mom trapped him w/ pregnancy.
"He did nothing of the sort."
You can't read? He said it in plain black and white. He could have said "it appears that her two mothers' lesbian parenting skills are incidental to how she lived her life". It would be an irony-free post, possibly sarcastic free.
No, Gamma Hank, you can't read. I said nothing of the sort. Stop embarrassing yourself.
A single example of a superior outcome from a high-risk pseudo-family does not indicate that high-risk pseudo-families are superior to traditional nuclear families.
"My mother, she never love me. Sometimes she tell me she wish she a raped by someone else."
That's the problem with the utilitarian argument. If you claim that a pseudo-family like these will wreck the children and make them incapable of being good parents themselves, then any person who knows an exception (and they exist) will think it proves you wrong.
Better to stick with the fact that it causes suffering, which is true regardless of whether the child becomes a better parent, as these reports show.
what a beautiful pattern to be broken for a normal life (in other words she escaped as soon as she could.) god bless the daughter.
But many Christians homes!!
I'm a gamma for pointing this out. You're using irony so I'm at fault.
what if she's married w/four kids at 31 because of how she was raised?
she grew up fatherless, so now she highly values having a man, and recognizes the importance of a good marriage?
what if she's married w/four kids at 31 because of how she was raised?
she grew up fatherless, so now she highly values having a man, and recognizes the importance of a good marriage?
Do you think this lady would be in a bad marriage if she was raised by a father?
Do you think raising more fatherless/motherless children will result in more good marriages than if the same children were raised in a father+mother family?
i think she recognizes the value of marriage exactly how someone with a gunshot wound recognizes the value of kevlar.
No, hank.jim, you're a Gamma for creating "a dishonest reframe of what the other party has already said. What the Gamma is doing when he uses it is setting up the strawman he intends to attack in lieu of what the other party actually said."
Good grief, man (if man indeed you are instead of a callow boy), Vox explained how this works in the post immediately below this one. Thanks for being Exhibit A!
I'm just here to see if Laguna Beach Fogey is the next Ground Zero for the Gammapocalypse.
I'm against gay parenting so why would I reframe the post. The post mitigates what would otherwise be a clear case against gay parenting. Plus it slams Christian homes for not being good enough.
They did a good job raising her? Maybe, or maybe not. I have a good acquaintance who had a philandering scoundrel for a father who was neglectful of him, his siblings and his mother. He turned out to be a devoted husband and dad: the kids are not to want for anything, the wife to have whatever makes her happy (and she's moderate to high maintenance, but pretty). There's a neurotic drive to be "not like my father" and I see him at times clearly working through something when the rest of us are all relaxed and just enjoying life. So, he's doing his best, and doing well, but it costs him. Me, well I enjoy married life, but I have the sense that I am able to relax a good measure more than he. So, sometimes people rise above their circumstances.
It is interesting how well she turned out but I wonder how much of her choice for a traditional marriage path was some sort of rebellion against her liberal feminist upbringing. If you come from a Christian family you rebel by becoming a lesbian feminist. If you come from a family of lesbian feminists then maybe you marry early and have multiple children in a traditional hetero relationship.
They did a good job raising her?
They certainly motivated her to not want to be like them.
I'm against gay parenting so why would I reframe the post. The post mitigates what would otherwise be a clear case against gay parenting. Plus it slams Christian homes for not being good enough.
The point is that many Christian homes do not do a good job at raising consistently Christian children. And that's true primarily because of the liberalism in the broader culture or, in most cases, due to the virus of liberalism within the Christian church itself that they're attending.
In this case, she rebelled against her lesbian parents by looking for a traditional marriage. That is more indicative of the failure of the lesbians to inculcate loyalty to their lifestyle in their daughter, rather than the superiority of gay parents.
If you come from a Christian family you rebel by becoming a lesbian feminist.
And rebelling tends to happen when the Christian family has some serious weakness, such as hypocrisy or, in some cases, puritanical stricture taken to an excessive, even ridiculous, degree. Otherwise, Christian families have a higher retention rate than irreligious ones. In other words, it's less likely that a Christian family will produce irreligious children than an irreligious family will produce Christian children. (Pew Research has shown this; look it up.)
thank you very much
Bảo Trân – Maketting Online
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