My[20F] boyfriend[21M] is being poisoned by The Red Pill. Help.Translation: "my boyfriend gets depressed every time he realizes I've emasculated him by controlling our relationship and dictating every aspect of his life. How can I prevent him from being aware of the truth?" To claim that one is "poisoned by The Red Pill" is akin to claiming that one has been infected by reality. The deceiver sees The Red Pill as horrible because she can no longer continue to deceive her victims.
We have been together for over a year. He was/is my best friend and we've lived together for 3 years. Long story short, he has some pretty bad issues with depression (in cycles, we're thinking bipolar, he's about to start going to a new doctor to figure it out) and low self esteem. He's had this low period -> go read TRP -> feel shitty about himself for being a "beta" cycle twice so far.
He is letting a lot of their ideas affect the way that he thinks when he's in these low periods. Some examples are feeling like because he's a "beta" he has to work for something(sex) that "alpha" guys don't, and that makes him get even lower, along with feeling like I don't want him because he's a "beta" and that he (pretty much) isn't good enough for me.
He gets really sensitive to people's comments when this happens. An example is when I went to get his keys from him at work, after I walked out the door someone said "damn, who's girlfriend is that!"(I swear to god I'm nothing special, this comment is weird and uncalled for in the first place) And when people pointed to him, the first guy kinda laughed and said "that's not his girlfriend..".
How do I explain to him how horrible TRP actually is? When I say that they're assholes, he just says that there are so many of them, they must be doing something right.
He isn't sexist at all (except for some super common cultural stuff like gender roles, etc) and does not think negatively of women whatsoever, I can tell he's just looking for some way to "improve" himself because he feels so shitty.
We communicate EXTREMELY well and we have very controlled, civil conversations about this kind of stuff, but I'm at a loss about how to explain this to him or show him that TRP is living in some fairy tale world where if you're enough of an "alpha" all girls will "give" you sex 24/7. He's convinced that my semi-low (prefer sex every other day) sex drive is because he's a "beta" and I don't want him and am not attracted to him.
Remember, the core of gamma behavior is "about lying to oneself relentlessly about what's right in front of your eyes." Game is built upon a foundation of the relentless observation of the facts of human behavior. That is why Game and gamma delusions, and Game and delta assumptions, and Game and female deceptions, are intrinsically incompatible.
I don't care about this particular case, only about what it represents in the larger scheme of things. It means that the attempt by feminists and white knights and gammas-in-denial to marginalize Game as nothing but a skeezy form of misogyny has completely failed. Even a gyne-blinded young delta chump is aware that The Truth Is Out There.
This is what a step forward on the long march looks like.
41 comments:
I applaud his effort to reflect on his status, determine he needs to improve, and then do something about it.
I man that young who has been beaten down (or beats himself down) is fodder. He will be chewed up, resources depleted, and spit out.
Best of luck to him.
Anyone want to bet if the guy tracked the sex on a spreadsheet like the other man that it wouldn't come out as every other day?
No bet, Owen.
If he truly is bipolar (I've dealt with several of them) "Game" isn't going to help him at all, just make him feel worse about himself when down and grandiose about himself when up. I've known more than one who has to undergo electroshock treatments to get through life.
Vox, where do you see Game intersecting with a genuinely Christian way of relating to the opposite sex? For that matter, what do you see as the primary aspects of a genuinely Christian way of relating to the opposite sex?
Another question, rather deeply personal, feel free to ignore it. Do you regret your past experiences before you were a Christian?
"Poisoned by The Red Pill. Help."... lol
Notice how she has to go full metal exaggeration to keep her fear of truth from sounding stupid even to herself: TRP is living in some fairy tale world where if you're enough of an "alpha" all girls will "give" you sex 24/7. Seen this before from libido-deficient women who desperately want to always have things their way.
Uhrm? It actually says much about psychology too. It is not part of the red pill world. Period. His first best call, at this point, is to boot psychology and find a group of red pill men with whom to associate. Business is business. Actually, if he continues with the red pill, and does as I suggest, even she will be happier. She won't get what she wants, which is exactly what she needs, and leads to happiness without the notion that she is in control... a losing thing for a woman.
If she is on the pill, and he finds his way, he will dump her. No other choice.
"Game is built upon a foundation of the relentless observation of the facts of human behavior"
Okay, I understand what is being said here, but "game" is actually not a game at all, it is something built right into men and women naturally, God's game, if you will. It's instinctual, biological, natural, innate. The fact that it has been so damaged, so broken, that a whole lot of people have to actually re-learn it intellectually, is a real tragedy. Not just men, but women too.
From observation, I suspect older men used to refine it for younger men, to pass down bits of wisdom, but the basic build of game is hardwired inside of us all. So one cannot be "poisoned by red pill," because that is our natural human state.
If he truly is bipolar (I've dealt with several of them) "Game" isn't going to help him at all, just make him feel worse about himself when down and grandiose about himself when up. I've known more than one who has to undergo electroshock treatments to get through life.
Yeah, game isn't a be-all to end-all cure-all. If this guy really does have mental problems he might need to avoid some of this.
Yes, Vox is right that we should face reality, but for many facing it means seeing how nihilistic and pointless everything is, resulting ultimately in suicide. At times like this, what they need to face is actually the deeper reality, to find where God waits in the universe and that there are things more important and beyond just the physical and sex. As one blogger I read (depicting his own journey to faith), he most suicidal at a time in his life when he was most purely logical.
Some days it's time to set aside the math, and listen to the music.
The guy has depression, perhaps manic depression. He also seems compulsive. The guy isn't well. This may have nothing to do with the Red Pill thing. His girlfriend is a piece of work. This isn't about her, but she makes it into her. It is clear that he doesn't get enough sex and it always seems to come to this issue alone.
If he's manic depressive, I'm thinking that he needs to get some help beyond what I can provide on an Internet forum. And quite frankly, being 21 and living together for three years (but somehow only together for one? Huh?), he's unlikely to get it because he probably doesn't have medical coverage to get it or the money to pay for it himself.
I can wonder about all kinds of things--does his best girl really emasculate him, and is his manic depression related to his sinful relationship (I've got relatives who are bipolar), and more--but really, I'm reluctant to give advice in these things except for "get that bipolar syndrome figured out, and then we can worry about other things."
We communicate EXTREMELY well and we have very controlled, civil conversations about this kind of stuff,
TRANSLATION: She controls the conversation. They talk till 2am, then go to sleep.
but I'm at a loss about how to explain this to him or show him that TRP
TRANSLATION: He's got a grip on reality and she can't disprove it, but has not yet tasted the red pill herself
I don't take her diagnosis of him being bipolar seriously. That's her hamster speaking. Look at her excusing his "super common cultural sexism". His bipolarness is probably him having a backbone and standing up/strong, then they have a long controlled talk that folds him up into a little gamma again.
Gee, maybe he's depressed because he goes to bed with blue-balls most nights (she says she prefers every other day, which probably means she's holding out for less often to train him down to her level) even though the woman he loves is lying right there next to him; and no matter how much he tries to talk to her about it in those "controlled, civil conversations" she's so proud of, she just says he's broken and doesn't see her own part in it at all. Sounds pretty depressing to me.
"Some days it's time to set aside the math, and listen to the music."
Oh, amen to that! That is a concern of mine, men that do not have a strong relationship with God, don't have much to hold onto when staring into the abyss that is staring back at them. That is one reason why I don't like to see game placed before God, or presented as a solution nearly equitable to having a relationship with your Creator.
There is a reason why some people hide from the truth, "facing it means seeing how nihilistic and pointless everything is." Life, truth, is not nihilistic and pointless at all, but you have to know that, feel that, before you go plunging off the cliff. You need to know there is going to be something there to catch you.
Game is a part of walking out our lives "as Christ loved the Church" GG. We have to keep frame and do the right things. Even good relationships will go downhill if the man doesn't walk in his position. Doing so goes against the grain of society though. That is why it is vitally important to know how to live.
Would you likewise state that you thought it was unimportant for a man to master his job skills? After all, God made him the way he is, right?
The comments on the original are what is well and truly both terrifying and annoying. They break down into three categories;
First TRP (apparently we are now an acronym, never a good sign), is clearly a form of mental illness requiring years of intensive therapy and heavy, heavy medication. Shock treatment and lobotomization are highly recommended. If he can still perform simple menial tasks around the house afterward, call it a win. Footnote: it would probably be a really bad idea to have him do the cooking afterward.
The second of course is justification. Nothing is your fault baby, it's all the man's fault, it's all the man's fault, it's all the man's fault. Just keep saying that and everything will be fine. You have done the right thing in coming here to ask other women if your man is in the wrong. He is. I know nothing about the two of you but I am more certain of this, than I have ever been of anything else, ever at all in my life.
Third; Sorry honey it won't be fine. TRP is a progressive (but not in the good way) mental illness. If you didn't catch him early enough. He is likely to be incurable. The key is prevention. Be wary!
At the first signs of the TRP contagion, start making fun of him for wanting to wear a top hat and feathered boa.
Repeatedly mention how all TRP men die miserable, alone and forsaken of all.
When you teasingly invite him to spend large amounts of money on you for no apparent reason at all. And he just snorts derisively, turns his back on you displaying his broad well muscled back and strong round buttocks, then strides away from you with the natural arrogance born of a real man who was born to lead men.
Forget about your damp panties and CONTROL YOUR INSTINCTS! you owe this to all of us my sister! Start crying immediately and threaten to leave him!
Remember he is not a natural alpha, he is likely in denial. You can stop TRP there if you act quickly enough.
BTW if he ignores the last one and keeps walking away. Whoa, you’ve got a keeper there honey, don’t blow it! Apologize by offering sex immediately or I swear will.
OK, what the heck does TRP stand for? Can someone clarify?
The Red Pill
So sex every other day suddenly means she's low desire and doesn't care about him? WTF? If she's living with a guy with mental issues and still likes every sex 3-4 days a week SHE'S NOT LD. If he got himself a good doc/counselor/group of men and started taking care of his issues she's probably be in the 5-7 days a week range easy. My husband has gone through stressed out, depressed, busy weeks, and I'll be honest that my attraction becomes kind of meh after a while (I'm also nursing - trying to have a libido while jacked up on prolactin is frustrating).
The story contains one of those revealing details, though. She tells about the jerk at work smirking that she's not his girlfriend--i.e., she can't be his girlfriend. Now, that's easy enough to blast to smithereens. He just says, "She is. I'm going to be banging her tonight, while you're at home tugging your chubby to barely legal internet porn." But he didn't. Here's my guess why. Notice that she describes in this deadpan way that she got his keys from him at work." Presumably car keys, I'm thinking. So here's this guy, his gf comes into his work (did she even tell him she was coming) grabs his access device (notice "his" keys) to his car and then takes off somewhere of her own devising. Does she ask? Does she make her case? No, she just comes and takes his keys from him, leaving him at the end of day no doubt waiting helplessly for her to finish whatever she's doing and come to pick him up. In other words, she emasculated him in front of his coworkers in a way utterly obvious to her bf and his colleagues. His keys (phallic symbolism alert) belong to her and so does he. So his coworker was right: she's not his girlfriend, she's his owner.
Related:
So the bad news is not all men and women can be helped, and we won’t be able to spawn a mass cultural movement. The good news is we don’t need to convert anyone else to be successful. We have an essential advantage; our message happens to be the truth. We don’t need to win the argument. The truth is the truth, whether others believe it or not. Feminists need to convince everyone that their view of the world is correct, or individuals will continue to peel off to follow their own best interest. All we have to do to win is accept the truth, and act in our own best interest. Ideally we should attempt to help others with this as well. If we can do this, we will change the culture one good choice at a time. However, we don’t need to convince others of anything to take practical measures for ourselves.
http://dalrock.wordpress.com/2011/09/20/nothing-is-more-subversive-than-the-truth/
"he's a "beta" he has to work for something(sex) that "alpha" guys don't"
Translation: I make him work for sex and dole it out MAYBE every other day, just to keep him on a short leash and not feeling too good about himself.
Gosh girlz, I wonder how I could improve my B/F's attitude? He wants more sex, but I won't enjoy it. There's no point to increasing his happiness if it doesn't increase mine.
Maybe we can medicate him into a complacent, neutered good boy!
Natalie, we didn't say every other day was low desire; the letter writer herself did. I don't know whether that's low for a woman her age, nor do I care. The point is that he wants more than that, and she'd rather declare him mentally ill and having fallen in with an evil crowd than simply give it to him.
I don't suppose she'd like it very much if he decided to skip work every day that he had a "low desire" for his job. She might even dump him for not keeping up his responsibilities. Since it doesn't appear that they're married, he should do the same: dump her and look for a wife who's not TOO DAMN LAZY to hike up her skirt once or twice a day if that's what it takes to make her man happy.
Tom said:
Vox, where do you see Game intersecting with a genuinely Christian way of relating to the opposite sex? For that matter, what do you see as the primary aspects of a genuinely Christian way of relating to the opposite sex?
Tom, use the search feature here and at Vox Popoli. He has covered your question in great detail.
"Low desire" does not mean it will cause her pain to have sex. It does not mean it will traumatize her. It means she won't be into it as much as when she has desire.
Let's stop treating "Low desire" as if it's an unimaginable burden put upon someone. I have low desire to run. I do it because it releases endorphins and keeps me healthy. I have high desire for scotch and not doing a damn thing. I don't have a "and I don't do that" line here, because I do drink scotch while not doing a damn thing.
What it also means is that, if he marries her while she's pulling this stunt, her legs will slam shut as soon as they reach her desired # of children. Because "low desire."
Go read the comments. I can't believe no one said "Make him a sandwich".
If she's living with a guy with mental issues and still likes every sex 3-4 days a week SHE'S NOT LD.
Which is why I seriously doubt that he has any REAL mental health issues at all (unless you consider a man getting depressed over the realization that he's hooked up with a bitchy, selfish shrewlet to be "mental illness"). That terminology is just the excrement left by her hamster now that she realizes she cannot any longer dominate him like she once could.
"Game is a part of walking out our lives "as Christ loved the Church" GG. We have to keep frame and do the right things. Even good relationships will go downhill if the man doesn't walk in his position. Doing so goes against the grain of society though"
Of course Brad, but some men cannot afford to "go against the grain of society" because they do not have Christ to strengthen them. So many people are implying this guy just needs more red pill, more sex, or less of a bitchy girlfriend. What the guy needs is a relationship with Christ so he's not just floating around, pulled in opposing directions. No wonder he's depressed.
So one cannot be "poisoned by red pill," because that is our natural human state.
The "red pill" is the ability to see and understand our natural state.
No, she just comes and takes his keys from him, leaving him at the end of day no doubt waiting helplessly for her to finish whatever she's doing and come to pick him up. In other words, she emasculated him in front of his coworkers in a way utterly obvious to her bf and his colleagues.
I doubt most of the coworkers even realized she was emasculating him (yes things are that bad), but maybe he gets it. However, my guess is she controls most or all aspects of their "relationship", and he does not realize how much under her control he really is.
Go read the comments. I can't believe no one said "Make him a sandwich".
What! Not even one?
I would agree the guy needs a relationship with Christ GG, but that is neither sufficient to guarantee him of success nor is it required to have success in marriage.
Many men without Christ have reasonably successful marriages. Many men with Christ get frivorced or worse. A relationship with Jesus doesn't always have a direct impact on making a marriage good or bad any more than it would make someone a better or worse IT worker. It may help with some things, but it is not enough by itself.
If he really is bipolar, then if it isn't 'game' and the red pill, it would be something else. Bipolar disorder is a physical, medical condition. Aside from drugs, all you can do is not take yourself too seriously when you are having those thoughts during a bad stretch.
His bipolarness is probably him having a backbone and standing up/strong, then they have a long controlled talk that folds him up into a little gamma again.
That's my impression. Getting depressed doesn't make you bipolar. True bipolar people have manic phases as well, and it's pretty obvious when they happen. It's become a trendy catch-all diagnosis for people who annoy you.
The guy might get depressed, but that's not bipolar and it probably isn't even clinical depression. He's probably just unhappy, a state that might improve if he found someone else to spend his time with.
Low desire? Bet Brad Pitt sedom met women like that.
Teen who sued parents files domestic order against beau
MORRISTOWN, N.J. — Rachel Canning, the teenager who moved out of her parents' home and then sued them for support and college costs, has gotten a domestic violence temporary restraining order against her boyfriend — the man her parents had wanted her to stop seeing....
Thanks FALPhil!
I read here and at Vox Populi in spurts. When I'm reading, I read everything. When I'm not, I read nothing. I forget that there are large swaths of time where I didn't read any of the posts either place.
"I would agree the guy needs a relationship with Christ GG, but that is neither sufficient to guarantee him of success nor is it required to have success in marriage."
Thanks Brad, but I suspect that in the larger scheme of things, a relationship with Christ is indeed required for a successful marriage. We seem to be living in times where people want all the benefits of Christian marriage, all the fruits of Christianity, without ever having to bother with following Christ. This appears to be true of both those claiming Christ and those not.
If a girl isn't giving you what you need, she's the wrong girl for you. Next.
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