For reasons that I am now doubting, there was a large misunderstanding with a customer where she worked and she got fired from her job. At this point, since she had no money, I had two options: 1) let her stay with me and try to find a job in my much bigger town, or 2) let her go back to her parent's place about 500 miles away, effectively ending the relationship.Seriously? I mean, seriously? Who wrote this, Alan Harper from Two-and-a-Half Men? When your situation can be accurately described as one that took place on a mediocre sitcom a few years ago, you're officially an idiot where it comes to women and should not be permitted to make any decisions about them without first asking a Game Council consisting of Roissy, Roosh, Athol, and Susan.
Since I felt this one had so much promise, I choose option 1). Me and a buddy of mine even went a step further and used our connections to get her a job at the call center for the company we work at. Not a great job, mind you, but much better than the one she had and good considering she didn't finish her degree. I also got her a relatively cheap car because I knew there was no way she could get back on her feet without one (we live in a decent sized town, but not big enough to have a great public transportation system)....
I know that I have more than a little bit of blame here. I made things way too easy for her and didn't really insist on her paying me for things like rent and the car, although we did have an informal agreement that she stuck to until just recently. I don't know what to do.
I can just imagine the meetings:
Roissy: [coughs] BETA! Code Red. Trash her. [closes eyes to better contemplate the sad ennui of human existence]
Roosh: No, pump her, then dump her. And then, my man, you should totally go to Uruguay. Bitches be banging in Uruguay.
Athol: Too risky. She'll run the Baby Trap on him.
Roosh: I said pump, then dump, dude. Not the other way around.
Susan: I tend to concur, except for the pumping aspect. She needs to go. But perhaps he can give her some travel money, just to make it clear that he's not a cad and there are no hard feelings. That's the decent thing to do.
Roosh: What is this "decent thing" of which you speak?
Athol: More importantly, throwing some cash should distract her and ward off the crazy. Hey, shiny!
Roissy: [suddenly sits up] Did someone say crazy? Hey, chumpmonkey, you got a picture of this chick?
In summary:
1. Don't get women jobs. They won't be grateful and it will reflect badly on you when it eventually goes bad, as it probably will. If she was reasonably employable, then she'd already have a job.
2. Don't let a woman move in with you if you're not willing to marry her. If that means Little Miss Irresponsible has to leave town, enjoy the parting scene. Just make sure it happens....
3. Don't buy a woman a car, relatively cheap or otherwise, unless you are married to her.
4. If you get a woman a job, buy her a car, and let her move in with you, then discover that she is lying to you and failing to pay you what she owes, DUMP HER IMMEDIATELY. And, as Athol recommends, do whatever you have to do, pay whatever you have to pay, to make sure she goes with a minimum of complications.
This is not rocket science. This is barely even basic self-preservation. To be honest, I'd be astonished if this woman hadn't already cheated, several times, on this chump of chumps.
26 comments:
People do crazy things to get laid. She probably put out early and often for the guy.
Ouch. But considering how much heartache and money my first serious relationship cost me, I can't cast stones.
Naivety can really die hard.
I can't cast stones either. Actually glad in a way to see I wasn't the only one to be this foolish.
You think she's cheating on him? Hell, with the way this guy has doormatted himself, I'd be surprised if she'd actually slept with him yet, let alone stopped screwing the other guys in her life.
And I'm guessing, "hey, dummy, you didn't think I got you that job for shits and giggles, did ya? Pay yer damn rent, ya succubus!" is a little too "ballsy" an approach for this mangina?
Since he seems to be more parts "little bitch" than "man," I suggest just changing the locks. Then you never even have to deal with the problem at all.
Can we hook this dude up with Bruisy McDramaQueen when she's done torturing the Farmer?
Loved the dialog, Vox.
You fergot Ian!
I said, essentially "Dump her harshly, get her the hell out, but watch her for six months on the very off chance your firm dose of Alpha encouraged her to get her shit together."
Sometimes a girl just needs a solid kick in the ass. Most of the time that just boots her out to the next chump, but if the stars are in the right position she might just actually straighten out and be worth at least a recon date six months from now. I wouldn't bet on it, though.
Hell, if you do it right, even if she's still a fucking train-wreck you should be able to get a BJ in the parking lot of the restaurant, minimum.
There's a reason why he 'forgot' Ian....
Math can be really hard for some guys. "Irresponsible girlfriend is irresponsible" can be a very challenging equation if, for, example, the bf mistakes randomness for improvement.
It is kind of like how sometimes severe stabbing victims think that they are "getting better" when they stop feeling anything.
Shh. Shh, BETA. It'll all be over soon.
Let's see, he gave her money, did not marry her, and we must assume he slept with her since they lived together.
Sounds like a john/whore relationship.
Classy.
And very very stupid.
Athor Pel
Vox, this made my day, the dialogue is hilarious. I would give a great deal to convene that Council just once.
The story is just painful, the woman is a total wench, and I would certainly not advocate for travel money. But yeah, the guy is such a chump, ouch.
Wow. Just wow. That poor, poor man and its probably much worse than he described.
You know, I would just like to point out...that if the situation was reversed (and I know that happens all the time) women would all call the women a moron. Unless of course the women had serious problems in the looks and age department and then I would seriously consider telling her to marry him LOL.
I feel bad for him. So many guys just want to do the pump and dump thing and this guy actually thought he was helping her.
Yes, no money unless you are married. Of course, I saw (and will tell my sons) no peepee in the vagina unless you are married eliminates all this.....
The conversation between the council was AWESOME LOL!
Carlotta
Sorry, that should read "I say"
Carlotta
When I was younger and completely naive, I tried the whole white knight routine. All it does is make a man poorer with nothing to show for it. But when your mentality is that it is virtuous to help people who are in a jam, and you are infatuated with the girl, it can be nearly impossible for a beta to take control and be harsh.
It's a hard lesson to learn, and sometimes betas have to learn it the hard way, sort of like what does not kill you makes you stronger. Betas absolutely need to recognize how cruel and manipulative all girls can be before they are allowed to date.
Sounds like my first marriage, except she wasn't irresponsible, just rather average in IQ and from a very dysfunctional family.
After that breakup, I decided if I ever wanted to rescue something, I'd go to the local pound and get a dog. And did. Got it out of my system, permanently.
I've been dating a woman who, in her favor, tries to make me not pay too much for our dates (such as paying for her own train tickets to my town and saying, "Honey, I wanna pay for dinner this time.")
Points AGAINST her favor is that her only source of income is a trust fund, she is overly generous to people who cannot pay back, and is on medication. My mother also has many (valid) misgivings about her, so as a potential spouse, she's iffy.
I'm going to try to game my best friend's sister and let my current girl down gently.
Something I just realized.
There is an advantage to having lots of brothers and sisters. You grow up having many fewer illusions as to other people's true nature. At a young age you know in your gut just how venal and petty most people are because your own family proved it to you daily in the years you lived at home.
Conversely there is a disadvantage to being an only child. Since you don't have any brothers or sisters it takes much longer to accumulate the experiences needed to develop enough discernment to avoid being conned or used. Your parents, assuming they are good parents, are showing you the good part of their character when you are a child so in that way they aren't helping you prepare for the bad people in the world.
What this means for men that grew up as only children is that they are more likely to buy into the lies we have regarding the nature of women. Whereas a guy that has one or more sisters would be less likely to buy into the lies our society tells us about the nature of women.
The thesis could be stated as:
Only child = more likely beta
at least has sisters = more likely alpha
Has anybody else noticed this?
Athor Pel
Athor Pel: I feel like I was deprived by not having a sister and seeing females' true natures. Good enough? :)
Vox, I stumbled onto one of the funniest message boards in a while.
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/39527-correlation-between-women-short-hair-lsd.html
Married women sitting around wondering if short hair is connected to a low sex drive. "I cut my hair after I got married. Then I didn't want to have sex with my husband. It must be the hair!"
ATHOR PEL:
Interesting post. As far as girls growing up into women, who the hell knows. But my son is an only child. And calling him Beta would be a HUGE stretch. Of course I was Alpha my whole life and I think that came from being raised by my Dad without my Mother plus being involved in competitive sports my whole life.
I have noticed that kids that don't play sports at higher levels tend to be more "beta".
That would be a good study. Are kids who are raised by parents who weren't athletic themselves more likely to NOT Participate in sports? Are kids who don't participate in sports more likely to be passive or beta as adults?
Athol Pel: I think you have something here, I would only expand it further by encompassing boys with brothers but no sisters, not just the single child scenario.
"CantBeJustMe said...
... my son is an only child. And calling him Beta would be a HUGE stretch. Of course I was Alpha my whole life and I think that came from being raised by my Dad without my Mother plus being involved in competitive sports my whole life."
I was thinking of this when I was writing my comment but I was wanting to avoid talking about the possible exceptions.
I'm trying to keep these comments under a thousand characters.
I was thinking outcomes would greatly depend on the parents but trying to control for the character of the parents in a study would make things much more complicated.
Athor Pel
The Game Council is hilarious. I hope to see it again in future posts.
All right, I have decided to let my girlfriend go.
I do feel a bit sad about it, because we did have things in common. But she has severe problems (visiting her apartment, it seems she has no concept of what a garbage can is. For someone with no work, no school, and mountains of free time, living in a pig sty is UNACCEPTABLE). What I'm saying is, the things we have in common are not enough to surmount her problems. I do not want to be married to someone I have to treat like a messy four year old.
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