Are you asking yourself: "Is my son to young to learn Game?"
Depends on your definition of Game, using the definition of Game that this website is devoted to, then no. If you are not a natural alpha and honest enough with yourself to realize this, then now is the perfect time to teach your son Game. Learning Game together is like changing your first alternator or building a porch with Jr. It becomes a life-changing memory that will be remembered by both father and son for many years to come.
Game is about confidence and interacting with others, to position yourself in a better social slot which gains you the benefits of respectful interaction with mankind. Their respect not necessarily yours, as it doesn't need to go both ways. I believe it is never to early too teach boys how to be men, as many of us learning Game were never taught to be men. If you are interested in learning Game as a self-confessed non-alpha, chances are high that you did not have a father like Winston Churchill or if you did he wasn't around enough for you to learn to emulate him. If you didn't win the genetic lottery and have a natural alpha for a father, what medium was going to teach you to be a leader? Every week news comes out that bloodies the hands of our elected leaders. Hollywood train wrecks are a dime a dozen. TV is filled with eunuchs and homosexuals, school is filled with a double portion of feminist nonsense. Church? Maybe, but it is rare to find a parish without emasculated doctrine.
So, dads, it is time to break the cycle. Your father wasn't a natural alpha and consequently you are not one either. I challenge you to teach your sons Game as you learn the same. Am I recommending working Roissy routines with your son in tow. Maybe, but I don't think this will work well with the judge at the next custody hearing: "I like it when daddy picks up hot chicks at the grocery store"
In order to become a leader, one must overcome fear. Much of the debilitating inner voice that prevents the non-alpha from acting in social situations comes from fear. I am aware of two ways to get past fear: nuke it, or overcome it. Few choose to overcome fear with the nuclear option as it is usually a result of a traumatic experience, which no father would wish on his son. That leaves the other option of helping your son overcome his fears with support. Do not confuse coddling with support.
Since I began playing with Game and its applications, I have continued to look for opportunities to teach my son behaviors which avoid the mistakes that I made. Here is a recent example that proved useful, hopefully it will inspire your own creative juices and enable you to pounce on similar opportunities.
My son and I were at one of our favorite restaurants and my son asked me a question that would impact the way he ordered his tacos next time we ate there. I knew the answer but my teaching moment light bulb turned on. I told him I wasn't sure and sent him over to ask the gal wiping down tables. He tried to back down and no longer desired the answer, (a delta just like his Dad, I will fix that). I helped him fix his specific question in his mind then nudged him and sent him over. He received a typical Trixie response, she gave him the brush off and went on to do something else. He shrugged and shuffled back to our table, dejected, a delta chip off the old block. I spent the next five minutes coaching him on how to project an attitude of importance. (Preaching at myself with twice the intensity.) The time to leave arrives, I remind him of his unanswered question and announce he is going to get an answer. We walk up to the same girl and I planted myself physically in her presence with my body language projecting "Serve me now!" She responds with a "Can I help you?", I smile and open for my son "My son has a question." He steps up and asks. No more dejected son. No more delta future for my son.
The benefits of teaching your son game are multiple:
1. Break the cycle, all your sons grow up to be alpha or beta.
2. Witness your younger self and how many of your own action-killing fears were generated in youth.
3. No loving father consistently fails with his son's future on the line.
4. Provides an additional powerful and motivating force to learn Game.
Teaching your son game is one of the greatest gifts you could ever give him. I do not intend to denigrate anyone by closing in this way: if our fathers would have possessed the capability to teach us these skills, they would have taught them to us.
- DJ
27 comments:
DJ - This post was very informative and I got quite a bit from it. I am in much the same position as you, having been raised and responded to life in much the same delta fashion.
One thing in your post did raise my eyebrows. I have noted that I often apologize for what I have to say, fearing someone may be offended by some bit or the other. I have resolved to cut this out of my speech. The conclusion of this piece, making sure no one feels left out, strikes me in much the same way.
VD -
Loving the new blog. I enjoyed your takes on your socio-sexual theories and get a kick out of reading your links to Roissy, sometimes for the laughs, sometimes to read these things that he is talking about and just thinking "I started noticing people doing some of these things when I was twelve years old." I think it is important to reinforce that not everything about game theory is about sex. On the one hand, you can gain a lot of insight into just trying to improve yourself in general.
Myself, I am mostly extricated from a seven year relationship that started when I was seventeen, and now I find myself having to backtrack and almost re-learn how to be a social animal again (I have a four year old son, and those tend to keep you busy.) after all that time. Game theory doesn't always have to be about these new and wicked cool tricks to nab chicks, it is just as much about dusting off the things you knew worked once upon a time, and re-applying them towards healthy social functioning, however frustrating it may be for however long.
And, if I have any say in the matter from a distance, I certainly do not intend on having my son grow up in similar fashion as myself. If you gotta be Daddy from a distance, do the deed, and with God's grace he'll be that much better off. Another game theory application. For the betterment of your kids, and hopefully to ensure some legitimate grandchildren. One can only hope, anyways
@unclesol
The ever running internal mental apology. That is a difficult one to kill. I might need to use better ammo. When I find a caliber that works, I will be sure to share it.
'Are you asking yourself: "Is my son to young to learn Game?"'
Hell, my son is 14 months old and he's already teaching me game. The kid's a bloody natural.
I cringed at the alternator analogy and the climactic march-up scene on the hired gun.
Silence.
Silence is the caliber that kills the running apology.
Also... do you know how to handle eye contact?
Eye contact is a game of chicken. You should go out of your way to make eye contact with women... and when you do.. you should stare a whole through them with a bemused, or slightly quizzical look... as if you're expecting something from them. They are expecting you to look away like a little nancy boy. Don't.
Ever.
Nate is absolutely right about utilizing silence to conquer gamma mouth. His advice about eye contact is very good too with one caveat. Omegas and at least some sigmas may need to initially avoid eye contact or at least veil their eyes in order to avoid alarming people. (If you know what I'm talking about, you'll understand, if you don't, you don't have to worry about it.) The goal is to radiate self-confidence, not serial killer.
For example, if I directly meet a woman's eyes who doesn't know me, it is not uncommon for her to physically recoil. It's not necessarily a dealbreaker, however, as that's what happened when SB and I met. A negative impression is still an impression, right?
It's almost the exact opposite of when my alpha brother looks at a woman, as they usually smile and step forward in response. The thing I have found particularly amusing in the past is that on some occasions when I have maintained eye contact, the woman didn't look down but held eye contact and backed away instead.
So, in the same way that some women have "crazy eyes", I suspect some men have "creepy eyes". This may help account for why women are so instantly freaked out by omegas. It doesn't mean women can't find you attractive, just that it's generally not a great idea to hit them with the full blast right away.
Point of fact, I did not recoil from the eye contact but from your snarled response, significant difference. I have however seen women recoil from you ;^)
Having a natural alpha for a father in no way guarantees you will be an alpha, I have seen far too many examples of the contrary. By all means dads teach your sons to be men whether through game or some other means.
Spacebunny
I thought everyone here would appreciate this:
http://www.daybydaycartoon.com/
"Also... do you know how to handle eye contact? Eye contact is a game of chicken."
This. Yes. This is a lingering remnant of my ultra shy years. Breaking away first means I don't *have* to interact, which has always been the more comfortable route.
Despite having nearly erased every other vestige, including being quite comfortable giving a presentation to the entire company, with question and answer afterward (I would have died a thousand deaths years ago), I still have the bad habit of breaking off eye contact early.
The eye contact thing applies to men as well.
When confronted by a boss for example... burn a hole through his pupils with your own. Don't show any fear. Don't show any reaction at all... especially if you are not in the wrong.
If you are in the wrong.. flatly apologize while burning a hole through his pupils.
I've seen huge... huge big dog loud boisterous alphas melt in front of their own employees while attempting to take that employee to task in front of the whole company. And by seen it... I mean I did the burning and the owner of the business who signed my paychecks did the melting.
He came to work less and less after that day and gave me more and more responsibility until I ran the operation out right... even hiring and firing.
Great post. As a father of a young daughter and not a son, I would be interested in reading about inoculating young girls from having Game run on them so they do not become sluts.
@Nate,Vox
Silence does work, thanks for reminding me something I had forgotten. The eye contact thing is golden as well, been playing with that the last 3 days. Good for self-confidence even with "low status" people.
@anon
I have been kicking this around as well. Here is my thumbnail sketch: If an alpha/sigma husband is gaming his wife properly she becomes a role model for her daughter to follow. If he is also gaming his daughters, they will be looking for a leader to date/marry. How to keep them from dating asshole game...that is the question. Borrow Vox's "scary eyes" while they are under dads roof. After that you need to equip your daughters with tools to distinguish synthetic from real leadership. In addition teach them that they are more than their hamster. I may be only part right on these things, keep learning.
They need to understand their hypergamous nature in order to have a chance of controlling it to their advantage.
There is nothing in this world that will protect your daughter from a bad boy alpha.
You can however, teach her to spot an imposter.
My advice... arranged marriage.
@ Nate
You're wrong about nothing protecting the daughter. I find centerfire firearms to work well. Arranged marriages do work...and constant supervision until then.
Can we ban anonymous comments, please? There's nothing difficult about picking a moniker.
in the past anon's have been dealt with by granting the awkward handles... Remember Cumquat?
Yeah they work but keep in mind that people are worthless retards and will find a way to ruin even the most perfectly setup system. Arranged marriage can't stop her from deciding her parents can go f*ck themselves along with the boring loser to whom she's betrothed. Not when Heathcliff comes around with his dark long coat and piercing green eyes and I have never read the book or seen the movie but it sounded nice as I wrote this.
Or, as the late Jin'emon said, "..it is better not to bring up daughters. They are a blemish to the family name and a shame to the parents. The eldest daughter is special, but it is better to disregard the others." Very good.
I think it's possible that Game has become more vitally necessary for more boys and men in just the last generation, or two. That might explain what seems to be the rise in the number of men at the lower classifications on the Alpha-Omega spectrum. And that may also explain why so may of our fathers didn't teach us any of this (mine certainly didn't) - they didn't really need anything like today's GameTM* in a world where the zeitgeist of Feminism had not yet taken root.
* I don't mean to use the TM to disparage Game; I'm simply recognizing that Game in 2011 is a "thing" that is slowly developing into a discipline/industry/belief-system, unlike the former cultural belief system of men just "being men" and behaving as such.
Banning anonymous comments is a simple check box in the Blogger setup page (comments tab). Requiring registration is not an undue burden, given the number of Blogspot blogs out there, plus it supports Open ID registrations.
Thinking on this topic, yeah, Dad was an Omega. No doubt. Crappy way to start life, but he did his best considering his own really tough start in life.
I don't let my two girls spew all that estrogen-fueled nonsense in my house. I logically lead them through the turmoil.
I know too many guys who "retreat" to their "Man Cave."
Great post. Excellent advice, this is exactly why I read this blogs
I wish I had had access to these posts a few years ago. My sons are 21 and 16 now, and I have fewer opportunities to teach them then I'd like. I've done my best to teach them to be good men, and they are, but I worry about my oldest. He's a geeks geek, brilliant and highly successful so far in his field but socially awkward and I have never found a way to give him the skills he needs to overcome it. Mainly because I haven't got a good handle on them myself. How do I point him towards Game without seeming to endorse the sexual license that seems to always go with it?
Nate said...
Silence.
Silence is the caliber that kills the running apology.
Could you expound on this please? Since I've been reading these posts I have become aware of how many times a day I find myself apologizing for nothing. Now that I can see it, I want to kill it.
I'll start my training with my son to never let him wear his hair like the guys on the Disney Channel. What's with the hippie/girly long hair look? I'll also give him plenty of training with speaking in public doing mock book reports, etc. And, he'll know BJJ, boxing, and steel bending too, but that's just how I roll.
Bucktowndusty
Silence means... when you feel the urge to apologize... shut your damned mouth.
Say nothing.
Make eye contact and hold it.
Just. Say. Nothing.
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