I’m what PUAs call a “natural”, a man who figured out much of game on his own and consequently cuts a wide sexual swathe when he cares to. Not quite the same game they’re playing, however. For one thing, I’ve never tried to pick up a woman in a bar in my entire life. College parties when I was a student, yes; SF conventions, neopagan festivals, SCA events, yes; bars, no.Sure they don't, you precious alpha snowflake. But it is true that Raymond is not playing the same game, in fact, it is eminently clear that he doesn't understand Game at all. What he clearly fails to realize that the kind of women pursued by pick-up artists are slender, pretty women, the most attractive women, which is not exactly the sort of woman one tends to encounter at "SF conventions" or "neopagan festivals", much less "SCA events". I am a published science fiction writer, a life member of the Science Fiction Writers Association, and I can tell you from experience that while the average woman who attends SF conventions may well have an IQ north of 120, she is also likely to have a weight north of 180 to go with it. There is nothing wrong with this. Large girls need love too. But the fact is that it isn't the socially dominant, sexually successful alphas who are providing it to them.
Also, and partly as consequence of where I hang out, it has been quite unusual for me to hit on women with IQs below about 120 – and it may well be the case that I’ve never tried to interest a woman with below-average intelligence. (Er, which is not to say they don’t notice me; even in middle age I get lots of IOIs from waitresses and other female service personnel. Any PUA would tell you this is a predictable and unremarkable consequence of being an alpha male.)
Because the women the PUAs are after aren’t the kind that interest me, much of “game” as described in the PUA culture fills me with a mix of recognition and revulsion.
But it wasn't necessary to know where Raymond is rooting around for women to know that he is no alpha, not when there is such a distinct stink of delta/gamma delusion that belies his reported swath-cutting. The reason that much of Game fills this self-styled "natural alpha" with revulsion is because, far from being any such thing, he is a fairly typical delta with a few gamma tendencies who is given to placing women on pedestals. His deltatude explains why he won't hit on women he deems insufficiently intelligent and why he finds himself fundamentally disgusted by the "thought of flinging negs to score sex". It's why he qualifies his wide sexual swathery. And it's also why he doesn't need to be an asshole - my dear snowflake, real natural alphas most certainly are NOT faking it - for the obvious reason that the smart, overweight, 4-5s with whom he is achieving success with his nice guy, kino-rich anti-Game don't require it. This has all been explained, in no little detail, by the Dark Lord of the Crimson Arts over at the Chateau.
The main thing that Raymond has failed to understand is that quality is every bit as significant an aspect of socio-sexual status as quantity. Brad Pitt scores far more status from being with one highly desirable bitch like Angelina Jolie than he would by scoring with ten thousand nice, smart, mediocrities. Raymond shows his gamma side when he defensively feigns disinterest in the sub-120 IQ women who are out of his league; notice how he assigns positive value to some of the very attributes that actually detract from a woman's sexual market value. This, too, is entirely typical.
Still, it must be said that Raymond makes a cogent point when he points out that until most women stop ignoring nice, well-behaved deltas and gammas and rewarding the socially dominant alphas with sex, nothing will change. This is not news to anyone who has read much Roissy, of course, but it does prove that Raymond isn't actually unintelligent or deluded, he is merely ignorant of the actual specifics of Game. If he ever bothers to learn it and put it into practice, I see no reason he won't be able to put the clever warpigs to pasture and move up from self-appointed "natural alpha" to solid beta status. On the other hand, if he prefers to enjoy life as an alpha of the geeks and freaks convention circuit, who is to gainsay him?
23 comments:
What is a "neg"?
The opposite of a compliment. It is often delivered in a backhanded manner that falls short of being an open insult and is intended to deflate the ego of the woman at whom it is directed.
Got it. Classic one (if I truly do get it) "You don't sweat much for a fat girl."
I've met Eric Raymond in person. He had to have game to have landed his wife, Cathy. She is tall, slim, and good looking. ESR has had his share of slim beauties, not war-pigs. If you read his accounts of how he was inducted into wicca, it isn't so hard to believe.
ESR is on point with a beta needed to have something uniquely special that makes him interesting to the opposite sex.
ESR started out life with cerebral palsy. I think he went from Gamma to lower Beta.
I laughed at "SF conventions" and then spit my drink out at "neopagan festivals."
I think we should apply the Sheen Test to this situation. Would Charlie Sheen be winning at a neopagen festival? Well, actually, Charlie Sheen probably could win at a neopagen festival ... so never mind that test.
That may well be. But he isn't an alpha, let alone a natural alpha. He clearly has no idea what one is.
And even in the unlikely event that they are slender, women at SF conventions and SCA reenactments simply aren't one-half as attractive as club bunnies. That's just ridiculous, especially given the statistical consequences of his IQ claims.
It's been awhile since I've done conventions. But I had noticed an increase in female attendance over the years. There are certainly some fine specimens there - the models promoting some company's products. If you score with them you are alpha.
This post makes me think you could spend a lifetime further breaking down the categories. If this guy was as Vox assumed, then he's a delta/gamma overall. But within his community he may well be an alpha - he's clearly a different level than the delta/gammas in his circle who have to work hard to occasionally get a 4th level gamer girlfriend. And they are all ahead of the omega, who even the pigs won't touch.
I get lots of IOIs from waitresses and other female service personnel
This sentence says it all for me. What he calls IOI's the waitress calls "Getting tips", as anyone with even a modicum of social awareness would realize.
"College parties when I was a student, yes; SF conventions, neopagan festivals, SCA events, yes; bars, no."
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.
"College parties when I was a student, yes; SF conventions, neopagan festivals, SCA events, yes; bars, no."
LOL is so over-used... but after I read this... I literally laughed out loud. My wife actually came to check and see....
Then she laughed out loud.
I would never try to assign a status to myself because I have no idea what I am. Not like this "Natural". I can see tendencies in myself that resonate across the spectrum. Not sure what that means.
I get lots of IOIs from waitresses and other female service personnel
That used to fool me too until I realized they were just fishing for tips and commissions. It astonishes me that I got past grade school without knowing that.
BTW, what does IOI mean?
Same thing as strippers. They talk to you because they want your money, not because they like you.
the true alphas I've known don't have to try to get laid, they have to try to not get laid.
I've often seriously wondered if they had sold their souls to satan for the magic gift that any woman who hears them speak automatically wants to sleep with them, or of they had taken love potion number 9.
because none of them could be considered highly attractive men, perhaps on the handsome side of plain, and one is a bit funny looking.
but their attitude was always the same "all of these women want to have sex with me". it was like they had already seen the future, and knew it would take place under any circustance, so they found it amusing how rude or tactless they could be and still get laid.
I think IOI means "indication of interest." Eric Raymond is most interested in Eric Raymond. It's amazing how self-absorbed he is. And I'm sure if asked, he would consider himself a rare and precious snowflake.
here's the thing with alphas... It never occurs to us that a given woman... any given woman... doesn't want to have sex with us.
The looks of a given woman don't affect this at all. The words "out of my league" are simply not in our vocabulary and never have been. Most of us think women are far more perverse than men and think about sex more than we do. Gammas see Nobel Queens and Princesses... Alphas see sex craving sluts.
@Nate,
how much earlier do you estimate the average alpha/natural loses their virginity compared to the rest of the hirarrchy?
Probably the minute they hit puberty.
My alpha friend in high-school earned himself the nickname "pioneer" amongst his football team peers. By the time we graduated, he had to have deflorated 20% of the female half of the class.
Too bad his influence was only enough to pull me up to low/mid delta status. Heh.
stg58 said...
Same thing as strippers. They talk to you because they want your money, not because they like you.
Negging strippers is the only way to go. They eat it up. I suspect it's the daddy issues. They LOVE being spanked, figuratively at least. And most likely literally, too.
@Nate, there is no question women think and talk about sex far more than men and are far more explicit about it. It's not just a matter of you thinking it.
Mr. B.A.D. said...
the true alphas I've known don't have to try to get laid, they have to try to not get laid.
My buddy at work is total Alpha. He certainly has that problem. He occasionally relies on me to shame him into into not doing something he'd regret.
Like a good Alpha, he occasionally offers to throw me some his (better) sloppy-seconds. I just smile and let him know I'd rather have his leftover's friends more
; )
I have no idea what the average is... but I got my first two girl BJ at 11. Blonde twins no less!
"...On the other hand, if he prefers to enjoy life as an alpha of the geeks and freaks convention circuit, who is to gainsay him?..."
Hilariously harsh.
"...I’ve had the luxury of not treating women like shit only because I have often had USPs for the brighter-than-average women I was interested in, notably in the combination of alpha-male qualities with high intelligence and expressive skills...."
Owning a full coat of mail and a +10 magical battleaxe does not constitute a USP.
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